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AIBU resonable to think that pregnancy is making this even harder?

(11 Posts)
everythinghippie29 Wed 24-Jul-13 15:32:48

I found out that my darling little Sticky Cat was killed by a car yesterday. He was one of two brothers and I will go as far to admit I am a bit of a crazy cat lady when it came to my boys. I've had them since the day they were born and they genuinely are part of my little family and Sticky was such a character and would follow us to the shops, wait outside then walk back with us. He was always up for a cuddle and a fuss.

Since I found yesterday evening I've been crying. I know I would expect to be upset but it honestly feels like the most heart wrenching pain ever. I can feel it physically on my chest. Iawake from 3 in the morning as all I can think of is how sad his brother seems, always looking for him and crying and the vet saying we shouldn't see him because he was in such a bad state. He was so lovely and he didn't deserve to go so horribly, even though the vet said it would have been quick, I keep thinking of him just left on the road in pain and can't seem to get myself to be more rational.

I feel so stupid for being so upset and feel like I need to just get on with it but everything I do reminds me I'll never see my two boys together again. Even hanging the washing out I cried because I saw a peg he was chewing on the other day.

Part of me is wondering if being 21 weeks pregnant is making me perhaps more sensitive to it all and want to know if anyone has any advice for feeling better or at least functioning basically? I was so looking forward to having my family all complete, all my boys and me. I had my scan yesterday morning and was so happy and know I should focus on the fact my baby is healthy but I just can't think of anything but Sticks.

HelgatheHairy Wed 24-Jul-13 15:42:17

It is possible that pregnancy is making you more sensitive but I also think that grieving Sticky is completely normal. When my dog was killed by a car years ago I cried all night as well and I wasn't pregnant.

Even a year ago when our cat pulled a disappearing act I cried. Animals are part of our family and you really loved Sticky. It would be unreasonable NOT to feel something.

Onesleeptillwembley Wed 24-Jul-13 15:48:12

I saw your thread and I really felt for you. You're pregnant and I bet you're tired. Chances are you aren't dealing with it quite as you normally would, but hey, if it's how you feel then don't try to suppress it.

toobreathless Wed 24-Jul-13 15:54:08

Totally understand.

I was out walking my dog early one morning when 20 weeks pregnant & had my lovely young dog with me. A car, not going too fast, just unlucky, skidded on black ice, crossed the road and hit the dog, narrowly missing me. She died by the road in my arms.

I was devastated and for days wished it had been me or I'd lost the baby not the dog. Slowly I stated to feel better but it took ages.

((Hippie))

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful Wed 24-Jul-13 16:03:33

everything flowers I'm so sorry. Your poor cat. I think it's completely normal to be grieving for your cat, being pregnant is probably making it worse. It will get better with time.

dingit Wed 24-Jul-13 16:09:48

I'm so sorry, I saw your thread yesterday too. I lost my cat to an rta at the same stage in pregnancy. I've also lost one while not pregnant. The grief was exactly the same. Be kind to yourself and cry as much as you need. You gave him a lovely home, and as time goes on you will think of the good times, and not of the bad.

I hope you get comfort from posting on here, I am crying for you now!

mymagaret Wed 24-Jul-13 16:32:45

Totally understandable. Pets are part of the family, i cried for a full weekend when our dog died of old age! And i knew it was coming.
A few weeks behind you in pregnancy and i cried at the royal baby yesterday and at the Ceasar dog food advert where the little dog follows him to the cemetary. So your emotions must be going crazy.
It must be so hard getting over Sticky and dont feel bad for crying over him. Just think what a lovely life he had with you and his brother, he was obviously a very lucky boy to have someone care that much about him.

loveliesbleeding1 Wed 24-Jul-13 16:42:37

I lost my lovely boy to a car last year, the whole family were devastated, he meant so much to us, and was so very young(18months), it was hard enough to go through without pregnancy hormones, so I feel for you I really do.you are greiving the loss of your lovely boy, im so sorry.

PoodleFlavouredFreddos Wed 24-Jul-13 16:50:31

pets are so, so much part of the family. I lost my toy poodle about six weeks ago and am still devastated. I imagine it must be harder to deal with if you are pg, but you are BU to expect it too not feel awful, it will, and that is okay. he was part of your family and it is okay for it to hurt and for you to grieve, I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. flowers

everythinghippie29 Wed 24-Jul-13 17:14:38

Thank you for all the lovely messages. I was expecting to be told to stop being so useless. I'm so sorry for all of you who have lost your fur babies.

Posting on here has made me feel a bit better, knowing other people have felt the same makes me feel like I'm not being as mad as I keep feeling I'm being. Just grabbed my remaining fluffy boy and he let me have a good old cry into his fur which normally he would be most put out by, (he's usually a bit of a princess when it comes to his lovely long coat). Feeling a bit better for it and DP will be home soon so I think we will have a cuddle up and cry together. He just text me saying he was nearly in tears at his desk.

Thank you again for all being lovely!

SupSlick Wed 24-Jul-13 18:18:11

So sorry sad
My cat died when I was pregnant too so this made me feel even more for you.
Sadly the only thing that will make you feel better is time. Congratulations on your healthy pregnancy, you have lots to look forward to smile but every pregnant day isn't meant to be effortlessly magical, so don't feel guilty for feeling sad, if you need to grieve you need to grieve!

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