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to tell this mother either follow through with the threat or please leave ?!

(63 Posts)
BadSpeakingSkills Tue 23-Jul-13 17:31:56

Eldest DC has just started a gymnastics class, space for 10 but only 5 in there at the moment.

4 children in the class (including my DC) love it and get on with the activities. One mother brings her child and it NEVER joins in, it runs around jumping on the items, equipment or just messes about trying to entice the other children to play. My DC is easily led and a few times I've seen him just about to get up and join in with this child. But a quick "No - listen to the teacher please." stops him and he gets involved again. The teacher has pulled off equipment a few times and said "You either join in or you have to stay over there, it's not safe." Child just screams and wriggles out his grip.

The mother keeps saying "You join in or we put your shoes on and go home." Child shouts back "No!" Repeat 20 times in the space of 30 mins The child continues lounging around on the mats, climbing the beam or running around trying to entice the children away. After 4 weeks this is getting on my tits and last week another mother confessed to me she's getting annoyed and looking at other classes.

StuntGirl Wed 24-Jul-13 00:30:06

You've accidentally revealed the gender anyway, might as well just say it now.

Speak to the teacher. It sounds like the child is just too young atm for such a structured environment. If the teacher refuses to do anything you know he's a crap teacher and you're best looking elsewhere.

soapboxqueen Wed 24-Jul-13 01:10:52

Do not approach the other mum as quite honestly it is none of your business. Approach the teacher if you wish but they will be just as aware and are choosing not to tackle the issues. I would probably find another class to go to.

I'm afraid you cannot look at a child and know if they have special needs or not, especially when they are very young. Being consistent does not always work, although in this instance wouldn't hurt either. However, try to have a little compassion. If this child does have special needs then you have no clue what she is going through.

cheerfulweather Wed 24-Jul-13 01:30:22

She ought to have left by now. The child obviously isn't ready for a structured class. I'd approach the teacher if he/she is disruptive, let them deal with it.

TalkativeJim Wed 24-Jul-13 01:34:47

Um, you said the child 'can't be controlled by HER wet mother' - so child is a girl...

Mimishimi Wed 24-Jul-13 03:59:42

One of the other parents should tell the kid off. I was always grateful if someone told off my 4-5 year olds if they were being obnoxious. It would stop them quick in their tracks. A stranger telling them off has a better effect. Depends on the mum I suppose though ... she might go off her nut.

Monty27 Wed 24-Jul-13 04:35:49

My ds ruined a dance class for others when he was younger. I was absolutely unaware of it. My older dd was in there too. It wasn't a 'stay' class so I wasn't aware until the dance instructor subtley told me I was wasting my money (it was quite expensive). I took him straight out, and poor dd as I couldn't do the lifts/childcare etc unless it involved both dc's.

The sadness was that ds had the talent.

Anyway the point is, that the dm should be told and perhaps refunded?

Monty27 Wed 24-Jul-13 04:38:40

Come to think of it, many moons later, I think it was only told when I was waving my cheque book to pay for the next term when they told me.

Ds may have ruined it for the whole class all of the previous term, who knows, and perhaps I should have been told a lot sooner and even without a refund, I would have taken him out if he was ruining the whole class. grrrrr.

Monty27 Wed 24-Jul-13 04:40:19

Sorry for diction, have had drinks smile

NapaCab Wed 24-Jul-13 04:51:50

It's annoying but there is no point in letting it put your nose out of joint. It's a 10-week class, you've had 4 classes already so only 6 more and you're done.

Monty27 Wed 24-Jul-13 04:56:59

That's quite a few classes though Napa, when others have paid and it's being spoiled by one child.

I was that mother, but as I say it was a non stay class so I had no idea. I felt awful that ds had probably ruined it for a lot of other enthusiasts. I think DS was about 4 and dd 6 at the time. I was annoyed they hadn't told me earlier.

Pubicfoothair Wed 24-Jul-13 07:04:44

But Monty27 you weren't threatening to leave and then not carrying through, which is the point of the thread.
One of my NCT mums did this with her eldest - she would threaten to leave when it was perfectly clear that she wasn't going anywhere, she was just overwhelmed with her next two younger kids. Her eldest was "spirited" and after he thumped another child on the head, again she said "right we're leaving." The other mum said "yeah but you never do though, do you?" and stamped off in a huff. There was an awkward silence and she got the message. Some people are just unintentionally unaware of how threats like this are crap for all concerned.

lougle Wed 24-Jul-13 07:08:48

At DD3's gymnastics class (3-5), the children go in and the door is firmly shut in the parents' faces. No compromise. The teacher should be dealing with it.

ppeatfruit Wed 24-Jul-13 07:58:07

IIWM I would have a quick chat with the teacher (agree she sounds very wet if she can't control 5 3-5 yr olds) Some 3 yr olds are more like 2 yr olds (she may be just 3). I wouldn't talk to the mum she also sounds drippy. So yes YABU.

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