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I get a million pounds a week in benefits

(186 Posts)
usualsuspect Tue 23-Jul-13 13:49:41

And a 30 room mansion in the country with a swimming pool.

Not to mention all my 45 children have horses and go to private school by helicopter.

Are you jealous? Eh?

Wheresmycaffeinedrip Tue 23-Jul-13 13:50:32

Can I have some?

OfficerMeow Tue 23-Jul-13 13:51:11

Do you have a goat and a 52inch plasma tv? If not, not bovvered

usualsuspect Tue 23-Jul-13 13:51:14

No it's all mine.

Get your own benefits.

CerealMom Tue 23-Jul-13 13:54:24

Oooo how d'ya manage that?

<sits up, opens note book, licks pencil tip>

Crumbledwalnuts Tue 23-Jul-13 13:54:43

This OP absolutely convinces me that no one ever takes advantage of the welfare system, and that everyone is receipt is deserving, needy and virtuous. By the simple sleight of sarcasm, all inconvenient facts which point to the contrary is swept aside. So far is this from being a low appeal to the absurd, standing in for an evidenced point of view, that I imagine no one will ever again imagine that there are people who believe the system is often unfair.

dawntigga Tue 23-Jul-13 13:55:10

So where do you keep your goats?


kaytola Tue 23-Jul-13 13:55:22

Pah! Peasant. I get 2 million a week and my own private jet.

usualsuspect Tue 23-Jul-13 13:55:28

It's easy, you just go down the job centre and they give you a wheelbarrow full of money.

CakeExpectations Tue 23-Jul-13 13:55:44

Can I pop round for a dip in your pool? Preferably while you are out?

[post about a thread within a thread about a thread emoticon]

Crumbledwalnuts Tue 23-Jul-13 13:55:55

Sadly not true usual: not if you've contributed as I have.

pianodoodle Tue 23-Jul-13 13:56:29

Just checked the online calculator and my lazy eye entitles me to a free monkey butler smile

YouTheCat Tue 23-Jul-13 13:56:46

Have you got a shed?

Fairylea Tue 23-Jul-13 13:57:16

Are you Kate Middleton?


Fairylea Tue 23-Jul-13 13:57:44

Oh sorry I see you already have 45 dc.

usualsuspect Tue 23-Jul-13 13:57:47

Are you wel jel ,Crumbled.

I spent your taxpayers money on fags.

CerealMom Tue 23-Jul-13 13:58:49

So I need to buy <incredulous>, actually buy, a wheelbarrow to get 'my' cash.

Is there a benefit so I can get a wheelbarrow?

ANormalOne Tue 23-Jul-13 13:58:59

Only a million? Clearly if you were an illegal immigrant with over a hundred children you'd easily be raking in £2.5 million a week. It's an OUTRAGE, I tell you.

Itsjustafleshwound Tue 23-Jul-13 13:59:12

What box do you tick to get your benefits paid in Zim dollars?

Twirlyhot Tue 23-Jul-13 13:59:25

Do you have a plasma screen goat?

RoxyFox211 Tue 23-Jul-13 13:59:41

grinHa ha ha. Creasing. Thanks for sharing wink

usualsuspect Tue 23-Jul-13 13:59:45

Yes there is a wheelbarrow grant.

Crumbledwalnuts Tue 23-Jul-13 13:59:46

I'm not jealous - just pleased things are going to enjoy it while you can - the argument is lost.

I don't pay any tax, so meh.

MammaTJ Tue 23-Jul-13 14:00:17

Usual have a biscuit and a brew and I will have one too biscuit brew

We can pull up a chair by your heated pool (it is heated, isn't it?) and you can tell me how I go about it.

pianadoodle do a check for me, I don't just have a lazy eye, I am lazy in my entirety. I must be entitled to more.

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