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Brownies pamper party AIBU?

(119 Posts)
lovesmileandlaugh Tue 23-Jul-13 09:55:45

My 7 year old DD went to the end of year Brownies 'pamper party' last night. She HAD to go in pyjamas to enjoy the fun and came home plastered in make up, red lipstick, glitter, painted nails, curled hair.

I'm annoyed for a few reasons.

1. Brownies (to me) is about developing skills and promoting positive female role models. Not dressing up little girls like WAGS for fun. What ever happened to a good game of rounders on a sunny evening as a treat? I would have expected brownies to provide more of an antidote to the early sexualisation of children.

2. The red lipstick was used on all the girls. I wouldn't use a lipstick that had been used by 30 different people before me, surely this is basic hygiene? One of DD's friends has cold sores and my DD has eczema on her face around her mouth, so I am concerned about the infection risk. Also concerned about headlice as there is an outbreak and they were going head to head with combs.

3. The girls are not allowed make up/ nail varnish etc for school, so it all had to be taken off when they got home anyway.

I really want to complain about this but I can't decide if I'm being a bit unreasonable!

RedHelenB Tue 23-Jul-13 09:58:10

If she had fun & enjoyed herself YABU - don't like the activities either volunteer yourself or look for another unit that is more in line with your thinking. Go in & complain & risk losing the Brownies pack for everyone!

Shakirasma Tue 23-Jul-13 09:58:55

Yabu brownies has always had a girlie side to it.

That's why my girls go to cubs and scouts.

Runningchick123 Tue 23-Jul-13 10:00:38

The lipstick might have been applied with a clean finger rather than everyone sharing it from the tube.
Other than the risk of cross infection I think you are being very unreasonable. It's the year 2013 and girls like pamper parties - even brownies has to move with the times.

Eyesunderarock Tue 23-Jul-13 10:03:28

It sounds adorable, all those little sweetie pies learning what it means to be a girl in 2013.
Just wait til they get to guides. <squeeee>

gleegeek Tue 23-Jul-13 10:03:45

I don't think you are BU! Dd has just finished her time at Brownies with real regret. they have never ever done anything vaguely makeup/fashion related. I think this is lazy guiding and you should say something. But be prepared for them to ask you to help out with better ideas!

In her time at Brownies dd had the opportunity to: geocache, orienteer, grass sledge, abseil, pond-dip, write a book, play many games of rounders/sports day type activities, cook on an open fire, do charity work, camp, rollerblade, bike ride, swim, go donutting and bowling etc etc etc. Not at all traditionally 'girlie' and she has had a blast!

CitrusSunshine Tue 23-Jul-13 10:04:36


I can't bear the fact that these days it is somehow seen as a bit of fun and totally acceptable to plaster young girls in make up. At every school event DD goes to there seem to be opportunities for her to have her nails painted/ hair "done" or win lip gloss in a lucky dip, and some of her friends already have ears pierced and wear make up to school parties. This seems to be accepted as totally normal so that I too question whether I am being a killjoy by thinking this is just unsuitable and unnecessary for 4/5/6/7 year olds!

Quite surprised this happened at a Brownies party. And the hygiene aspect is also a bit gross and irresponsible as you say.

I would probably mention your concerns to the Brownie leader.

ninja Tue 23-Jul-13 10:04:57

I completely agree with you - cubs do climbing, brownies do pamper parties!!! What does this teach?

This is NOT what brownies is about, they're far too young sad

gleegeek Tue 23-Jul-13 10:05:06

By the way, I think the success of anything like Brownies/Scouts etc depends heavily on the skills of their leaders...

YDdraigGoch Tue 23-Jul-13 10:05:11

Little girls love to dress up and experiment with make up - that's a fact of life.

I think as long as the evening was a fun evening, and was seen as dressing up for fun, then that's fine.

I'm a Brownie Leader, and we've done this type of thing before and the girls love it.

We've also done pamper parties where the girls have made their own face masks and hand creams from natural ingredients, then used them on each other - would that be more up your street? If it is, perhaps you could volunteer to maybe run an evening along those lines, or something else be comfortable with. At least you'f find out difficult it is to entertain 30+ little girls with (virtually) no training.

We always stress to girls and parents that not everyone will like every activity we organise - but over the year there should be something for everyone, and part of the learining is to learn to go with what the majority like, and don't moan or sulk about it.

burberryqueen Tue 23-Jul-13 10:05:15

sounds crap tbh have you thought about her joining the Cubs?

MrsMook Tue 23-Jul-13 10:05:40

Our brownies do this, and they love it- Girl Guiding is supposed to be girl-led so we should be catering for their wants (within reason), and this is someting they request. The end result is usually very panto dame, rather than glamour model. We provide wipes and nail varnish remover so they can clean most of it off before pick-up. If the programme of activities is varied, there's no issue.

They are asked about things like eczema and can choose what they do- it doesn't have to be make-up on skin. If head lice are rife, they risk being shared on any pack night.

burberryqueen Tue 23-Jul-13 10:07:09

and red dragon I dont agree - some little girls like that, the rest are made to feel that they should by silly adults stereotyping and brainwashing without even analysing why.

thispunderfullife Tue 23-Jul-13 10:08:10

Yanbu!!! Awful!!!hopefully these early memories will put her off all that carp for life :-)

daimbardiva Tue 23-Jul-13 10:09:11

I don't think YABU at all, I'd feel exactly the same. 7 is so young for this kind of thing, and it does, to me, seem to be against the ethos of Brownies too. I think you should definitely have a word with the Brown Owl (if that is what they are still called)and voice your concerns. You might find you are not the only parent who is unhappy with it.

Just out of interest, did this seems atypical in terms of the activities they normally do?

livinginwonderland Tue 23-Jul-13 10:09:33


Eyesunderarock Tue 23-Jul-13 10:10:12

Pamper parties for the majority of cubs would be much more basic.
This is soap...grin
I have done a make your own hand cream/insect repellant/ sun protection/camouflage workshop with scouts, using local ingredients, and the theory of herbal medicine (willowbark tea for headaches etc). Along with poisonous plant identification.

PatriciaHolm Tue 23-Jul-13 10:11:12

Yuk. I knew sending DD to Cubs was a good idea. What a vile activity.

OddSockMonster Tue 23-Jul-13 10:12:46

Do they also do plenty of things that'll get them mucky, like jumping in muddy puddles etc?

Eyesunderarock Tue 23-Jul-13 10:13:59

Well, Patricia, I hope you are reinforcing the message of how to be a real girl who likes pink and glitter and make-up at home.
God forbid, she might grow up to individual. shock

CitrusSunshine Tue 23-Jul-13 10:14:25

Little girls love to dress up and experiment with make up - that's a fact of life.

I genuinely do NOT recall having any interest at all in experimenting with make up until the age of around 13/14, whereas these days girls seem to be encouraged to do this at earlier and earlier ages.

This is NOT to say that I don't think Brownies/ Rainbows leaders in general do a great job and provide a wide range of varied activities and many many positive experiences for girls....

but the focus in general these days on girls trying to grow up too quickly just makes me a bit sad.

OddSockMonster Tue 23-Jul-13 10:14:55

That sounds really good Eyes, where did you find how to make all those things? (and I know what you mean about the soap)

Eyesunderarock Tue 23-Jul-13 10:15:43

'Little girls love to dress up and experiment with make up - that's a fact of life.'

So do most little boys, given the opportunity.

burberryqueen Tue 23-Jul-13 10:15:56

well according to DdraigGoch if she didn't like it, then she would be 'sulking and moaning'.
at 7 years old, sending the message to girls that their appearance is everything is just plain sad.

miffybun73 Tue 23-Jul-13 10:16:37

YANBU, bet they all looked like freaks from a child beauty pageant - just yuck smile

I hate seeing 3 and 4 year olds with painted nails, to me it's just wrong and a bit freaky, but as everyone seems to do it I'll probably end up doing the same for DD so that she doesn't feel left out.

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