Advanced search

Findings suggest baby spending overnights away from mum CAN be harmful...

(191 Posts)
fabergeegg Mon 22-Jul-13 21:19:14

Not strictly an AIBU but relevant to many threads on this board. What a relief for so many of us to have evidence that we're not being selfish when resisting overnight custody arrangements for our tiny offspring - or even overnights with grandparents on their own for that matter.

MrButtercat Mon 22-Jul-13 22:00:48

But babies do the same in the day as they do at night so surely if it's damaging to leave overnight it must be during the day too.

Salmotrutta Mon 22-Jul-13 22:01:31

An abstract isn't enough.

Tells you sweet FA about the methods, statistics, reference points etc.

hobnobsaremyfave Mon 22-Jul-13 22:01:40

clearly ds1 is going to hell in a handcart....

WorraLiberty Mon 22-Jul-13 22:02:12

Yes but how does daylight/darkness make any difference to a baby?

The report is rubbish as far as I'm concerned.

It's stupid to say that a baby being away from its Mother for up to 12hrs a day is fine...but as soon as the moon comes out it suddenly isn't.

And OP, what do you mean by... And it depends what you mean by 'survive unharmed' - of course they're still breathing but we don't actually know if very young babies are affected by spending long days at we?

I'm sure there are plenty of adults who are perfectly fine, who spent long hours in nursery as babies.

Sheshelob Mon 22-Jul-13 22:02:19

Innit, hobnob.

Women like us shouldn't be allowed to have children.

cardibach Mon 22-Jul-13 22:03:20

OP are you using this (possibly dodgy) study to suggest that absent parents shouldn't be allowed overnight access? It sounds like you are in your first post. That would be ridiculous - and it depends on how 'Primary caregiver' is defined. If contact with an absent parent is maintained, surely the child sees both parents as primary?
I am a lone mother, by the way, and DD has had overnight contact with her father since she was really quite tiny. She seems perfectly confident to me...

hobnobsaremyfave Mon 22-Jul-13 22:03:33

depressing isn't it she....

Salmotrutta Mon 22-Jul-13 22:03:55

You'd seriously get your knuckles rapped by reputable academics for discussing a paper after only reading an abstract edam

hobnobsaremyfave Mon 22-Jul-13 22:04:29

so op what about shift workers? care to answer pr just here to shitstir.

edam Mon 22-Jul-13 22:04:50

Yeah, I did miss the nightshift thing. But I wouldn't panic, this kind of research tells you about populations, not individuals. It doesn't mean 'every baby whose mother does nightshifts is doomed'.

And hobnobs, I'm sure your baby had a secure attachment to you by the time you went back to work!

It is useful in terms of deciding policies - so maybe courts need to take it into account when looking at overnight stays for babies whose parents are separated, or the government should work with employers to ensure women who work nightshifts get their full entitlement to maternity leave - maybe statutory maternity pay should continue for longer for nightshift workers.

MalcolmTuckersMum Mon 22-Jul-13 22:05:15

God I hate shit like this. And I double hate women putting up shit like this to other women. For what? To pile on more guilt and worry as if life wasn't difficult enough? OP this little study is just that - it is not suddenly law or accepted wisdom or about to form part of any guidelines and frankly you have no business bringing it here and presenting it as though it's the next big thing.

Salmotrutta Mon 22-Jul-13 22:06:41

The Journal of Marriage and Family (where the paper quoted in the report was actually published) sounds like some right wing religious journal funded by bible thumpers.

edam Mon 22-Jul-13 22:06:55

Salmo, if you can't discuss something on MN without access to the full paper in a peer reviewed journal, especially when such access is only available to a very few people, there would be very little left to say.

If you've got access to an academic library, or it's so hot I can't even remember what it is but the medical system I can use for some papers (medline or am I going mad) then do feel free to post the full paper here for us to discuss.

peachypips Mon 22-Jul-13 22:07:03

I've never posted this before, but as a mum who has suffered from severe anxiety over 'doing the right thing' (which I am over) I'd like to say

hobnobsaremyfave Mon 22-Jul-13 22:07:28

how do you know he had a good attachment to me? bit of assumption oh and backtracking much?

McNewPants2013 Mon 22-Jul-13 22:07:51

Both my DC has spent night about from me ranging from 4 month with DD and approx 7 months with ds.

I think that article is a load of rubbish.

Those nights when my lovely MIL had the kids meant i was able to get a full night sleep and when they came back i was fresh and ready to give them more of my time. 1/2 because i missed them and 1/2 because i had the energy.

WorraLiberty Mon 22-Jul-13 22:07:57

And come to think of it, because my DH works shifts...he'd often see to the baby in the night for a whole week.

I'd be sound asleep the whole time and DS wouldn't know if I was there or not...and nor did he care as long as he had his Dad.

dexter73 Mon 22-Jul-13 22:08:19

What a load of bollocks.

KobayashiMaru Mon 22-Jul-13 22:08:31

They only looked at low income, mainly ethnic minority families in US inner cities. Hardly one to draw conclusions from, is it?

edam Mon 22-Jul-13 22:08:32

doesn't look particularly bible-bashing at first glance

LookMaw Mon 22-Jul-13 22:09:05

Urghhh. Have to go back to nightshifts and leave PFB in September, when she is just 6 months old.

As if I didn't feel shit enough!

edam Mon 22-Jul-13 22:09:51

hobnobs, I was trying to be reasonable and was worried that I'd inadvertently made you feel bad.

Rather wishing I hadn't bothered now.

WorraLiberty Mon 22-Jul-13 22:10:37

LookMaw she'll be hanging around the streets and dealing drugs before her 1st Birthday.

You mark my words!! wink

Salmotrutta Mon 22-Jul-13 22:11:00

No I don't have access to a national library. Which is why I'm taking this with a pinch of salt. Because I can't access it.

And do you mean PubMed?

I doubt they would list The Journal of Marriage and Family hmm

MalcolmTuckersMum Mon 22-Jul-13 22:11:05

So what's your interest here edam? What's your agenda?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now