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To be slightly worried that i will never get a job?

(38 Posts)
KateSpade Mon 22-Jul-13 17:02:26

I have just finished my degree (May) and left with the verbal promise of a job, a very junior role in the field i wanted to go in, fantastic, however a few weeks later they turned me down as 'my lifestyle didn't fit in with the job' (which meant my DD, as they had previously expressed their concerns via telephone)

So, i know it is only July, but since then i haven't had a single interview, not one.

Im just stressing so much that i will never be able to get a job in my field, which i have spent four years training to do & want to do so much!

Positive messages of inspiration/encouragement welcome! sad

KateSpade Mon 22-Jul-13 17:02:43

P.S go easy, i am emotional.

FrenchRuby Mon 22-Jul-13 17:03:26

Isn't that discrimination on their part?

OctopusPete8 Mon 22-Jul-13 17:03:37

In have a similar fear, I spent all my childhood being a carer then had my youngest v. young and been a SAHM mum ever since , v. scared.

ReginaPhilangie Mon 22-Jul-13 17:04:23

Is that legal? shock Quite shocked they actually said that. I'm sorry it fell through. sad YANBU btw.

Zynzong Mon 22-Jul-13 17:07:07

Your lifestyle! I'd send a really polite letter requesting clarification of what they mean by your lifestyle. MAKE them say it.

If you have not had a stint as a sahm that needs to be explained away on your cv, then I would think about not mentioning your child in your next interview.

My friend, who smoked way way too much weed for over a decade has a job. He put some blurb on his cv about wasted years and regret and lessons learnt and new perspectives and enthusiasm to make up for what he's missed, all very admirable I know but I was secretly cross that being on weed for ten years damaged his career less than ten years of motherhood damaged mine.

Beastofburden Mon 22-Jul-13 17:13:18

Kate, don't worry so much. Almost nobody gets a job that fast right away. What you need is a Plan of Action.

You have just finished a degree- do you have access to your Uni's careers service? are they any good? if so, book yourself a personal consultation.

if you wanted to share more about the subject of your degree and the field you are looking into, I might be able to help more specifically.

FobblyWoof Mon 22-Jul-13 17:15:30

I'm quite sure what they did was wrong. Definitely get them to put it in writing as zynzong said.

With regards to a job. Don't panic. It took me two years to get a job after I graduated (back in 2009 when the floor fell out of everything!) and honestly there were some serious times where I was quite down, but looking back there were more steps I could've taken.

Firstly, make sure your CV is tip top- there are so many sites to help on this. Secondly, join all the job sites you can and definitely post your cv so employers can seek you out. Thirdly, look for jobs that aren't exactly in your field but will give up you relevant experience. It all helps and at least you'll be getting paid.

If employment is still hard to come by then look at volunteering- again, at something in and/or around your field. Write to the companies you'd like to work for asking for "work placements/experience". That's how I ended up getting my job in the end. It got me a foot in the door of the company I wanted to work for and although my job wasn't the post I wanted I knew it would help.

Beastofburden Mon 22-Jul-13 17:19:43

ps not so sure about the advice to make them say what they mean. Satisfying, yes, but you may want to keep them sweet. I would be more inclined to write back and say, you entirely understand that they would like more reassurance on this point, and how about you volunteer for a few months so both sides can see if the lifestyle issues can be resolved? That way, they get a risk-free period to check you out (which other candidates won't be offering), and you get volunteering experience, plus a reputation for being constructive.

Obviously, you shouldnt have to work for nothing, but if you are going to look at volunteering/internship anyway, you might as well start there.

Assuming you have that wonderful thing, free childcare, of course....

VerlaineChasedRimbauds Mon 22-Jul-13 17:19:49

What is your field of expertise KateSpade?

Dahlen Mon 22-Jul-13 17:28:24

Try not to be too disheartened. You're a very recent graduate and this was your first job application. And we're in an economic downturn where jobs aren't exactly common. Literally thousands of people right now will be experiencing the exact same thing. None of it is any reflection on you or your abilities, just a difficult economic climate for recent graduates.

By all means get the employers to clarify because you'll be able to use that feedback to make yourself sound more suitable in future applications.

FWIW, being a parent made me unsuitable for my chosen field for a number of years and still restricts me from others, but I've found a way round that. It gets easier as they get older.

Owllady Mon 22-Jul-13 17:36:52

Do you know I was going to ask if it was fashion but I looked at you profile and see it is. It's a notorious industry for being like that tbh. They want people who can work for little or nothing at all and will work all the hours god sends, especially prior to seasonal shows. I found it quite soul destroying actually, I will admit that to you and needed work so much i went into the retail management side of fashion instead did visual merchandising (I did some pattern cutting but they wanted to pay so little I really couldn't put myself through it anymore) Those that have children that i worked with had a lot of family support or older children, so you still can do it, just plug away.

exoticfruits Mon 22-Jul-13 17:39:09

It is very, very hard out there. There is huge competition for every job. DS has just taken 13 months to get a job. He graduated last year. Many still haven't got a job. He had over 100 applying for every job he applied for. He was using his skills in volunteering while trying to get a job. He had literally 100s of applications and about 6 interviews.

exoticfruits Mon 22-Jul-13 17:41:15

Anything artistic is very difficult- that was DSs problem.

josephinebruce Mon 22-Jul-13 17:45:28

Check the Equality Act 2010 - I'm pretty sure that what they have done it illegal.
I'm afraid that with the climate now you may well be expected to do some kind of internship - but that isn't really suitable for someone with responsibilities.
I'm sorry this has happened. Don't give up and keep plugging away.
Good luck.

Officershitty Mon 22-Jul-13 17:46:13

yes definitely get them to put it in writing. I think it is probably discriminatory and illegal. Can you get it checked out on eg an employment law website forum? I have also heard of many people being made redundant after getting pregnant.

Dahlen Mon 22-Jul-13 18:10:32

I'm not sure this is illegal TBH. The employers would argue that it is her status as a parent that impinges her ability to do the job, rather than the fact that she is female. While there are laws in place to protect women of childbearing age being discriminated against on the grounds that they may or will have children, and while there are laws covering maternity, etc. being a parent itself is not a protected characteristic AFAIK.

Doesn't make it any less fair, because it is up to OP to make the decision if she can balance work/home life and to take steps to make that happen, but gaining feedback on this would be helpful, as she can more clearly demonstrate that at her next interview.

josephinebruce Mon 22-Jul-13 18:16:40

Yes, you're right Dahlen....but isn't there something about flexible working?

Debs75 Mon 22-Jul-13 18:20:40

MY friend got knocked back for Uni due to her 'lifestyle' They said they didn't think she could cope with 5 kids and the demanding course. She talked to college about it and they said it was discrimination so she emailed them about being upset they were using the kids against them and 1 week later she was on the course.
It is/was discrimination. and I would suggest you get clarification that your dd is the eason and if so persue it.

Dahlen Mon 22-Jul-13 18:24:43

The right to request flexible working is simply a right to request it, not to be granted it. As long as employers can give reasonable justification why flexible working can't be granted (e.g. fairness to other employees, shows running only on certain days or times), they are under no statutory obligation to grant it.

Dahlen Mon 22-Jul-13 18:27:15

The thing with Uni Debs is that they are in the position of having a duty of care to students quite unlike those of employer/employee. Also a university will have much greater cause to be concerned about potential negative publicity than a fashion house. It may also be the case that your friend's email was written well enough to convince the admissions board that she could indeed cope.

maddening Mon 22-Jul-13 18:34:20

What industry are you aiming for and what is your degree?

KateSpade Mon 22-Jul-13 18:59:23

Yes, i am in Fashion.

& i know it is discrimination. During one conversation i had with the company, before the job offer & refusal. She said 'I don't know how you could leave a child, i struggle to leave my son'. The job involved some travel, very infrequently, they said quarterly for a couple of nights, which i was fine with and explained everything. I guess the lesson is, do not mention you have children!

I have work experience coming out of my ears, but i am going to look at doing some more, i don't have free childcare, i did whilst interning and DD was a baby, but now she is a toddler i can't ask the same, as it is so much harder work, so i am paying for nursery still, with the hope something will come up soon!

I am aiming to go into the technical side of fashion, like pattern cutting, technology, like owllady said.

It is so easy to be frustrated, its such hard work for any student, and they really are expecting so much and paying so little. So many entry level jobs now ask for 2+ years experience, which i feel that internship is a game for the rich. If you don't have parental/spousal financial support it is bloody impossible! angry

exoticfruits Mon 22-Jul-13 19:21:03

Internships are unfair- that is why universities have stopped advertising them. DS needed one in London and we couldn't afford to keep him in London.
A friend's DD wants similar to you and can't get it and she is single with no children. It is very tough at the moment- our restaurants, shops etc are staffed by graduates who can't get work in their field. DS's girlfriend has a science degree ( a good one) and it took her 6months to get a job.

KateSpade Mon 22-Jul-13 19:28:59

My University hasn't stopped advertising them, infact my university is pushing everyone to do them!

Other than that not very positive exotic

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