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AIBU 'only' charging my son £80 a month digs? What would you charge your child?

(121 Posts)
4thfloor Sun 21-Jul-13 13:44:37

i had a thread on Friday on which a few people commented that £80 a month was way too low.

So I'm asking if you have grown up children living at home, how much do charge them in rent/digs/board and lodgings?

Our set up is

DS1 has just turned 20, he works 16 hours a week (minimum wage)

I ask for £80 a month

He pays for all his own food/juice/toiletries/clothes etc

He puts approx £300 a month into his savings account to go towards a deposit for a flat when he moves out rather than me taking the money for board and lodgings

So my question is AIBU for charging him so little in rent and allowing him to save for his future or am I doing the right thing?

If you have grown up children at home how much do you charge them per month?

SirChenjin Sun 21-Jul-13 13:46:55

What is his take home pay on that salary?

It sounds OK from what you're saying, given that he's putting aside £300 a month - as long as that's definitely what he's doing and not spending it.

Norfolknway Sun 21-Jul-13 13:47:15

I only have little children now but I think you've got it nailed.

If you can help your children save for the future - do it smile
I, ideally, would do something similar to you smile

burberryqueen Sun 21-Jul-13 13:48:00

£80 is low but if he is reliable with it and saving that £300 regularly then in view of his finances then fair enough really....

softlysoftly Sun 21-Jul-13 13:48:50

I wouldn't charge my children unless I had to.

catgirl1976 Sun 21-Jul-13 13:48:54

Sounds good to me

You are teaching him to save which is very important and you are taking some rent from him so he understands the importance of contributing and he is buying his own food etc so he is learning to budget and, I assume, he can cook and fend for himself

Sounds like a great arrangement to me

wheredoistartmrs Sun 21-Jul-13 13:49:12

i think that is very fair,he needs a chance to get on his feet for the future

catgirl1976 Sun 21-Jul-13 13:50:01

To add, my parents never charged me a penny and continued to support me through uni, bailing me out on my credit cards etc all the time

Whilst I appreciate how lovely this was I am SHITE with money. Perhaps a harder approach would have taught me some important life skills.

gordyslovesheep Sun 21-Jul-13 13:53:58

my mum always charged us 1/3 of out income but she did provide food and do laundry etc

I used to buy my own clothes and make up etc

sweetestcup Sun 21-Jul-13 13:54:00

Its hard to tell without knowing his take home pay. My DS is starting an apprenticeship soon, we are not sure yet what his salary will be a month, if its about £900 we were thinking of charging £200.

sweetestcup Sun 21-Jul-13 13:54:39

And he does all his own washing and ironing to.

Onesleeptillwembley Sun 21-Jul-13 13:55:19

If he buys everything then that sounds fair, especially considering he's saving so much. He sounds like a sensible lad.

ShabbyButNotChic Sun 21-Jul-13 13:56:49

I didnt pay rent at hone until i finished uni, even though i lived at home. But i did pay all my own fees etc, an always worked. When i graduated and started working more hours, i paid £50 a week to my parents, and had to do my own washing/tidying/run my car. They still did the cooking etc as im rubbish and they are feeders enjoy it.

I think i got a good deal, and my parents brought me and my brother up the same way, in that, its a 2 way street. We paid our board and helped round the house, in return they would help us out with anything we needed, eg if we were skint and needed petrol before payday etc. it created a mutual respect i think. To this day we are the same in that we all help each other, with money/time.

diddl Sun 21-Jul-13 13:56:57

I think if it works for you, that's fine.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Sun 21-Jul-13 13:58:19

I wouldn't charge my children unless I had too. I was never charged and I don't intend to charge my DD.

Xmasbaby11 Sun 21-Jul-13 14:00:00

I definitely think that's reasonable. He's not earning a lot so he will notice paying £80, but he is still able to save for the future. He sounds very sensible.

mysteryfairy Sun 21-Jul-13 14:00:17

Is the minimum wage for 20 years old £5.03? Making his weekly income £80? If so I struggle to see how he's managing to pay you £80, save £300 and buy his own food/juice/toiletries/clothes every month.

Tbh I think £80 is a lot to be taking off someone in these circumstances and I'd only do that to my children if I literally couldn't afford for them to live in the house otherwise.

MrsOakenshield Sun 21-Jul-13 14:01:51

I was never charged either, and would prefer, if at all possible, not to charge my child, especially if they are contributing to household costs, as the OP's DS is, and are saving for their own place.

thebody Sun 21-Jul-13 14:03:40

I don't charge rent to my oldest 2. it's their home. but they have jobs and so pay own way socially and often take us out for meals/ drinks, help around the house/ do own laundry and help gardening/ chores.

its what suits you and what you can afford.

BackforGood Sun 21-Jul-13 14:06:40

It is quite low, but as he's being sensible with it and saving up, then I'd stick with that. If it were my ds I'd charge him a lot more and put it by for him as he's incapable of saving anything, however much he wants something he could be saving for. smile

UnexpectedStepmum Sun 21-Jul-13 14:07:00

We didn't charge my step son at all, and I have several threads about how disastrously that turned out. I will be taking a similar approach as you to my DDs when they get to that age!

colettemum3 Sun 21-Jul-13 14:07:43

Over 20 years ago when i was on a youth training course for a year. I earned £35 a week. My mother was given £20 of that. So charging your son that, is reasonable.

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 21-Jul-13 14:08:45

It depends,if you are charging that much so he can afford to save up then that's pretty reasonable. If you charge him market rent with which he would struggle,he might as well move out and struggle with some more freedom iyswim?

thegreylady Sun 21-Jul-13 14:09:14

It sounds exactly right to me smile

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Sun 21-Jul-13 14:09:51

It sounds like you have the balance right with the £300 he's saving up. If he wasn't saving anything, I would think £80 was too low to teach him anything about managing his money and balancing bills as an adult.

IMO it's not the actual figure that matters, but the lesson that is learned about how to keep on top of budgeting once you're earning and funding rent/bills/food/lifestyle. I moved out at 18 having never paid board at home, knew bugger all about budgeting and wound up in a real mess with overdrafts and credit cards, which I'm still paying for now.

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