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To not understand the assault/internals threads?

(464 Posts)
GingerJulep Sun 21-Jul-13 00:04:18

I've never had one so am really struggling to understand how so many women on here (NOT aimed specifically at the other poster on this page, there are lots in different sections!) manage to have internal examinations before/during/after birth that they say they didn't consent to/asked to be stopped?

I mean that physically, don't they have the option to just shut legs/take feet out of stirrups/--kick HCP in face--?

Nearest I've ever come (so far, lucky me!) was someone trying to take blood suddenly... I made an automatic physical reaction (big flinch/jump) and they simply couldn't do it until we'd had a quick cat.

So, how much more difficult is it to avoid/stop internal exams if you really want to IYSWIM?

farewellfigure Wed 31-Jul-13 15:10:59

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. I can't believe it. I came back to this post to see if anyone else had posted and look what's happened! I've signed in and posted my story on the website. You are amazing! I really hope it is possible to make labour better for other women. Some of the things I have read on this thread made me so sad and angry. It just should not be happening.

LucyBTA Wed 31-Jul-13 16:02:05

Dear all - I posted on the other thread (I'm Lucy Jolin, volunteer press person for the Birth Trauma Association) but just to say a/well done all of you, the more people who make a fuss about these issues the better b/your site looks great c/have tweeted a link to it and to this thread and d/our website is and we're on Twitter as @BirthTrauma if anyone would like any advice/info. This thread makes such horrifying but sadly not surprising reading.

Some of you have asked what you can do to help. Aside from your own campaign, of course, the BTA is ALWAYS looking for women who are willing to tell their birth stories in the media. We get loads of requests from media every week. We're also an entirely volunteer-led organisation, with no funding from anyone apart from our lovely supporters, so any donations of any size are incredibly welcome. Hope nobody minds me posting this - no intention to hijack! As several of you have pointed out, awareness of birth trauma is still pretty low so I tend to leap on any opportunity to let women know it exists. And do drop me a line if anyone has any queries - my email's on the BTA website.

MylinhMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 31-Jul-13 16:09:48

Hi everyone

We thought you might find this page on legal rights during pregnancy and childbirth helpful. It has guidance and answers to some of the most commonly-asked questions on MN threads over the years, as well as details of the excellent Birthrights (a human rights organisation for child-bearing women). Do take a look and share, and feel free to leave feedback on this thread or contact Birthrights directly via their free advice service.

Thanks, Mylinh MNHQ

confuddledDOTcom Wed 31-Jul-13 16:13:03

Thank you Lucy! Please do come and join us. I'd love to do anything I can to help. It took me a long time to realise I didn't have the PND I was diagnosed with and to talk about the fear of my baby being hurt because of me (not deliberately, but I thought I'd accidentally hurt her and I didn't think people would see the difference). The birth it came from it didn't need to, they were too scared I was blame finding to tell me the truth of the birth when all I wanted was to close the gap of a GA. As a doula and a BT survivor I've since found this is a common theme with GAs.

Thank you too farewell!

confuddledDOTcom Wed 31-Jul-13 16:17:29

Thanks Mylinh smile

Shiraztastic Wed 31-Jul-13 21:50:34

Who farted, is there any chance he might have been pushing back a cervical lip? Sometimes one bit doesn't quite dilate as much, see here.

confuddledDOTcom Thu 01-Aug-13 13:22:13

We've had pushing 2000 hits now, but only one story and 14 likes. We need to make the site busy if we're going to go anywhere, so please keep sharing, liking and posting!

confuddledDOTcom Fri 02-Aug-13 14:46:29

I've just been playing with the forums, come and see what you think.

organiccarrotcake Wed 07-Aug-13 10:33:00

You might be interested in this organisation:, Association for Improvements in the Maternity Services.

AIMS campaigns on a number of fronts, supporting women in their childbirth choices (whatever they are) by helping them to get the information that they need to make informed choices. AIMS campaigns for respectful care which is woman centred, and supports women who are having difficulties with her care givers in one way or another.

organiccarrotcake Thu 08-Aug-13 13:57:53

This might be useful too, a free downloadable booklet on making a complaint about maternity care

organiccarrotcake Thu 08-Aug-13 15:06:45

And these:

This might be really useful to those who felt violated by examinations

This link is really more North American focused as we don't do cervical checks antenatally here particularly, as routine anyway, but may be useful to some readers:

Jux Thu 08-Aug-13 20:06:23

I avoided my local hospital for dd's birth, as when I'd tried to talk to the mw about my birthplan - no whale music! - the response was "oh we don't need to bother with that" while slinging it on the floor. I told dh I'd rather give birth in a field, and arranged to go camping 200 miles away, for the fortnight round my due date.

The hospital itself had for years had a reputation as a miserable place (accurate) despite many multi-million pound refurbishments etc. Staff were treated pretty badly, an attitude which was often passed on to patients.

I didn't actually give birth in the field, btw, but in the large hospital near the field. Where the mws were lovely.

I am appalled at what I have read on this thread (I have no doubt that if I hadn't gone camping, I would be among your number), and I take my hat off to all of you. Your endurance, your courage, all of you, are humbling. Thank you for telling your stories.

organiccarrotcake Tue 13-Aug-13 16:37:48

I've messaged you, confuddled, as would really like to chat. smile

organiccarrotcake Tue 13-Aug-13 19:57:48


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