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M&S staff inappropriate about my post pregnancy size

(86 Posts)
Onthebuses Fri 19-Jul-13 21:59:05

Looking for new summer clothes in branch of m&s, carrying my 10 week old son, hot and uncomfortable as still having to wear pregnancy clothes as last summers clothes don't fit. I ask a sales person where the shorts are, she explains they are now selling autumn clothes, adds there are a few shorts left over the other side of the store

Then touches my hip and says but I don't think they would be in your size!!!

Taken aback I leave the store and email a letter of complaint for a) inappropriate touching and b) her making a snide judgement about my size

V standard response from complaints/brush off.

Not on??

Onthebuses Sun 21-Jul-13 08:42:52

Thanks for all the responses, really interesting to see the range of views. My body image is thankfully intact, but sadly I am still hot and uncomfortable in my lack of summer clothes. BHS I'm on my way.

fairylightsinthespring Sun 21-Jul-13 08:38:50

I'd be more pissed off that their autumn range is being put out already. I know these things work so many months ahead but given the odd weather and very delayed summer this year, its a shame there's no flexibility in the system. I might be a little hmm at the incident but wouldn't be writing emails.

SoupDragon Sun 21-Jul-13 08:38:21

The OP has said the assistant said it in a snide way, and I have no reason to disbelieve her.

I disagree - I think she is feeling sensitive and, IME, that often makes you attribute intentions to things which really weren't there. My gut feeling is that it was imagined because she is sensitive about the baby weight.

MaryPoppinsBag Sun 21-Jul-13 08:15:39

What size are you OP?

I'm a 16 and find BHS great for shorts. My baby is 4 yo and I still haven't lost the weight.

I hope you feel better today. If you feel the woman was being snide then YANBU.

ANormalOne Sun 21-Jul-13 07:59:31

YABU How is saying that there's no clothes left in your size making a snide comment about your size? hmm The touching of the hip is inappropriate but some people are just very tactile, I think you're being very over sensitive.

LessMissAbs Sun 21-Jul-13 07:44:47

Clearly the assistant should have given you no information whatsoever before going on a post pregnancy awareness course, size diversity training and running it past their lawyers.

Meanwhile op you better not go into Harvey nicks. Ir Reiss. Or top shop. Or new look. Ir ever visit France. Or Holland...

MrsCampbellBlack Sun 21-Jul-13 07:18:20

My local m&s only seems to stock size 18 and above so maybe she meant they'd all be too big for you

Dolphinnoises Sun 21-Jul-13 07:13:09

The OP has said the assistant said it in a snide way, and I have no reason to disbelieve her. YANBU

flowery Sun 21-Jul-13 07:04:43

See, on a hot day, carrying a 10 week old baby, I'd much rather the assistant tell me there were none left in my size rather than let me traipse over there knowing full well I would be going on a wild goose chase just to avoid offending me.

Any good sales assistant will be able to judge what approximate size someone is, and if there were only size 6 and size 22 left, it is not being judgy or sizeist to tell the OP that none will fit her to save her a trip.

arabellasknickers Sun 21-Jul-13 00:26:30

tell you what is sizeist, my experience today in M&S: me buying one item of fruit... checkout assistant (3x my size) ''my, you have put on weight, tell me what you're eating so I can avoid it'' me- ah, yes, so I have


when did this become ok?! I am not actually fat, I am a size 12, so I'm larger than I was.. but still...

TiffanyAtBreakfast Sat 20-Jul-13 23:12:27


Regardless of whether the OP is feeling delicate about her weight or not, a retail assistant should not be making a judgement (and definitely not a comment) about someone's size unless specifically asked by the customer. The OP asked where the shorts were, not if the assistant thought they would fit her!

The appropriate response would've been "they're over there, but unfortunately we don't have many sizes left".

The touching would bother me as well. It's possible to be a warm, friendly person and provide good customer service without invading personal space IMO.

Wuxiapian Sat 20-Jul-13 21:00:31

I think YABU and a little over-sensitive.

rainbowbrite1980 Sat 20-Jul-13 20:56:04

YANBU. It's completely inappropriate, and complaints people should have spoken to the member of staff.

flowery Sat 20-Jul-13 07:11:12

How is saying there are none left in your size sizeist? confused

Amy106 Sat 20-Jul-13 07:07:33

No way she should have touched you or make you feel bad. Sounds like she needs work on her customer service skills.

waltermittymissus Sat 20-Jul-13 00:04:13

You're projecting.

You seem sensitive about your current weight and taking it out on this random sales assistant.

GentlyGentlyOhDear Fri 19-Jul-13 23:58:53

It sounds quite tactless and unprofessional.

EstelleGetty Fri 19-Jul-13 23:50:24

I think it's fucking ridiculous that anyone is insinuating you are being unreasonable. Customer service training is expensive for any retail business. I have been through it many times myself. I would never ever have been taught that touching a customer or making any comment which would be perceived as remotely personal would be acceptable. YANBU. I would complain.

perplexedpirate Fri 19-Jul-13 23:47:01

YANBU. If she did mean there were only silly sizes left, she could have worded it so much better.
Way to make you feel bad saleswoman.

WhistlingNun Fri 19-Jul-13 23:45:55

I touch people a lot when i'm talking to them - particularly strangers. No idea why!

E.g. I was in a shop today and asked a lady to go and check stock for something. She came back and said she'd completely forgotten what i'd said, could i repeat. We both shared a laugh. I touched her arm and said 'Don't worry, i'd forget my own head if it wasn't screwed on' (or something naff like that).

So maybe the hip touching was unrelated to what she was saying?

thebody Fri 19-Jul-13 23:41:57

oh get lost.. can't believe this.

ENormaSnob Fri 19-Jul-13 23:41:05


The comments would have pissed me off a bit but not as much as the hip touching tbh.

Would rather my arse cheeks were groped than my hips.

Snoot Fri 19-Jul-13 23:40:27

I wonder? Made me feel I may have freakishly plump labia! Who needs to add to their body paranoia? M&S ladies have twice made me feel terrible, once over a bra, "have you tried this on?!?" and once over their sandals which broke, stating that my foot was probably too wide! Now I vary between a 12 & a 16 but I'm not huge!

Onthebuses Fri 19-Jul-13 23:18:56

BHS - excellent. Thanks for the short tip.
Camel toe - woe - who test drives their clothes?

Snoot Fri 19-Jul-13 23:16:02

A big fat YANBU!!! Sales assistants should be kind, helpful and, if the occasion demands it, tactful. You can tell she wasn't on commission. Having just had a baby you are bound to be feeling sensitive but then so are a lot of women, especially about their body size, a lot of the time and especially in hot weather, looking for shorts. She has a lot to learn about her craft and that is her problem, not your's, beautiful, clever, lucky new-mummy OP.

BTW the shorts I tried on in M&S were very strangely cut so as to give me a massive camel-toe even two sizes up with big, poofy, pocket-hip pouches. Try BHS, I know it's a bit naff but I'm currently extremely comfortable in the linen number I found therein. Congratulations on your baby smile x

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