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How can people be late everytime?

(136 Posts)
LimitedEditionLady Fri 19-Jul-13 13:40:09

AIBU to be really annoyed that my friend is literally NEVER on time?It is not even just five minutes,its usually at least an hour!

xalyssx Sat 20-Jul-13 20:11:46

I have learning difficulties and I am 'always' late - but I know that I am like this so I am constantly trying different things to make my life run smoother, for example I needed to get to work at ten, so the latest train I could get would be the half 9, so I tried to make sure that I was ready for the 9oclock train. Also if I am being picked up by someone, I tend to ask them to arrive 15 minutes before they want to leave. If I am meeting up with someone, I say that I will be there at 5ish and I will text them when I leave and if I am running late.
These things only work if you know that you are a late person.

MollyBerry Sat 20-Jul-13 22:34:56

This annoys me so much too. It runs in my family, a complete inability to get anywhere on time. I am the total opposite and feel panicked if I feel I'm running late and am always on time. Don't know how I turned out so different to them. I think it was always turning up late to things in y childhood and continually being picked up late. I hated it and never wanted to be that way

Bogeyface Sat 20-Jul-13 22:49:10

My sister is like this, she knows she is a pita but doesnt seem to do anything about it. Mum is always late because she totally underestimates the time it takes her to do things, so with her at least it isnt selfish.

What annoys me the most is that mum will kick off if I am late! On a Sunday the kids go around for the afternoon, it is my only child free time so I treasure it and am usually bang on time! However, on the odd occasion I have been late she is ringing ten minutes after we should be there wanting to know where we are. My sister at least doesnt do that. The only time Dsis was on time was my wedding. I was picking her up to go back to ma's after my hair appointment, I said I would pull up, beep once, wait 1 minute and then leave. As I pulled up, she was waiting on the doorstep, she was so proud of herself although she did say she was so worried that she had been ready for over an hour. She was half an hour late on her own wedding day though!

As someone who will text if I am going to be arriving at 2:03pm instead of the 2pm arranged, I hate hate hate lateness!

Your time is not more important than mine, you are not busier than me (in the case of sis and ma I know this to be true!) and you should not take me for granted. Ma has got better since I went out once after getting sick of waiting for her grin

scottishmummy Sat 20-Jul-13 22:52:41

But it's selfish to not adapt behaviour if you know you under estimate
Selfish to know you keep people waiting,because wont amend under estimation
And I'm addressing those with no clinical reason for lateness.thise who can but won't vane

scottishmummy Sat 20-Jul-13 22:53:23

But it's selfish to not adapt behaviour if you know you under estimate
Selfish to know you keep people waiting,because wont amend under estimation
And I'm addressing those with no clinical reason for lateness.thise who can but won't change

Bogeyface Sat 20-Jul-13 23:55:28

Scottish I have read with interest about the possible neurological reasons for some peoples lateness. I think that there are people who genuinely do have problems with time management that they cant help. Those are the people who will be consistently late for work, miss planes etc and I have the utmost sympathy for them. I know someone like this and the more I think on it, the more I think that he underlying issues.

Ma is different, she will be very very early for a plane because she is a last minute panicker. I think that is the reason for her lateness, she is fine, organised, ready to go and then for some reason she must empty the bin for example and that makes her late. She is a major control freak and I wonder if she cant cope with being controlled by someone or something else ie; someone expecting her to be on time. She must be in control of every situation, and that expectation is someone else being in control.

DSis is just thoughtless and selfish I think. She will be on time for a plane (neither early nor late), will plan her packing a week in advance because she knows that she cant do it properly later than that as she is at work. She will be on time for work, meetings, doc appointments. But would always be late meeting me because "Just popped into X shop and saw some lovely trousers I wanted to try on....." ~She is much better with me now because I made it clear how pissed off I was. She can do it, but chooses not to.

lessonsintightropes Sun 21-Jul-13 01:29:20

The thing is, I don't really give a fuck why someone else is reliably, depressingly late. I don't care about time splits, or having left your purse, or a phone call that you could have not picked up. I don't really give a toss about your culture - my latin american and carribean and asian and british friends, or sorry the ones I choose to keep, manage to turn up. I tried so hard to convert my two 'late' friends, nearly a decade apart, and spent so much emotional energy on friendships before realising that I just couldn't be arsed to be around people who - let's be frank here - whilst not wishing to be lazy or disorganised or dismissive of the value of my time, just can't do it. And I just can't manage to, on a day to day basis, put up with it. I have family and friends who are sometimes late and rarely me too, but someone who does it all the time? Lazy, disorganised buggers, I've got better things to do with my life that sit in bars or coffee shops waiting for you and no I don't give a shit that you couldn't leave the house without painting your nails. Apologists, this is what the rest of us, probably, are thinking. We can make the effort to reliably be on time, WTAF can't you???

Bogeyface Sun 21-Jul-13 01:40:08

Been thinking more about this.

In the days of payphones, no 1471, no caller display, no mobiles then being late and not letting the waitee know was more acceptable. But now we all have mobiles. Why do late-runners never let the waitee know that they are not going to be on time? I text if I am running late by less than 5 minutes! If you suddenly realise hmm that leaving the house at 10:05am means you wont make your 10:00am coffee meet up, then fucking text me! Give me the choice between being sat there like a knob or making the most of the hour you have just "given" me!

lessonsintightropes Sun 21-Jul-13 01:51:42

And yes, I have been very happy to sack people for this. I run a charity with flexi time. We need our employees, apart from those who have negotiated a different agreement, to be in between 8am and 10am, to have lunch between 12pm and 2pm, and to be able to go home between 4pm and 6pm. So very flexible in terms of childcare/other issues. I'm better in terms of my contribution at work starting around 9.30 (less tired, more functional) and routinely stay after 6, but will pick up staff who stay longer than their hours as I want to make sure they have a work life balance. If they regularly stay later then either it's a job design issue or a competence issue. If they can't regularly get their arse to work by 10 then I don't care what ever issue it is, they just can't be available to work with colleagues and therefore probably can't do the job, and I'd not lose any sleep in sacking them during probation. I apply the same logic to home, and find the excuses given by people here risable in the extreme. No sympathy - just f**king get up earlier or organise your lives better.

FreudiansSlipper Sun 21-Jul-13 01:53:44

where did I say I am not trying to change

as for disrespecting my friends they know it's my downfall they do not see it that way because it is not intentional many of my friends are the same with their time keeping. at times it may piss them off (those who are better at time keeping) they have down falls too at times that may piss me off but we over look these and accept not everyone is perfect we have other great qualities

and as for having more tasks well yes at this point in my life I probably do (single parent, very little support, study and work) but it is not the reason

yamsareyammy Sun 21-Jul-13 07:43:42

I have noticed that habitually late people hate being "stood up" by others. That is they hate waiting for others themselves.
In fact, I think this is one of the reasons they are late themselves, so that they themselves dont have to wait for others!

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