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To want to leave London

(114 Posts)
DeweyDecibelle Thu 18-Jul-13 23:36:09

It's just so expensive! But me and DH both have jobs that are hard to come by outside of London, so we would either have to be very lucky to get new jobs in our sectors, or get unrelated jobs which seems like a waste of many years training and experience and would probably leave us unhappy as we both are happy in our jobs.

Also, both of us grew up in extremely rural places, with no opportunities, and so we want to give our DC the best start in life - to us this includes living within commuting distance of good universities and a wide range of jobs, so the children have the choice to get an education and work in whatever field they choose, while still living at home, should they wish to, so they can save money to set themselves up for the future, an opportunity neither DH or I had due to distance. (Realise this doesn't have to be London, any big city would do, but we are here now).

But I look at houses outside of London, and sometimes I just wish we could up sticks and move.

DeweyDecibelle Thu 18-Jul-13 23:37:16

I had decided not to post this as it's just a whinge, but sausage fingers on iPhone posted it by accident.

ZZZenagain Thu 18-Jul-13 23:40:51

I like London, was there today in fact but I agree with you although it has a lot to offer it is definitely expensive. If your jobs tie you to London, maybe you need to write a list of positives about living there

KittensoftPuppydog Thu 18-Jul-13 23:49:57

There are other cities. London can be very hard going. I've moved to another city and feel much better for it. And much better off.

RunRabbit Thu 18-Jul-13 23:53:23


I hate it and I don't live there. It's ok to visit but it's too loud, too expensive, too much happening. I like a more relaxed city.

Monty27 Thu 18-Jul-13 23:54:30

You and a million others no doubt me included.

I'm just waiting for the dc's to leave home and I can do what I like. Not long now, or at least within the next 5 years --hopefully-.

I had the dc's here, they are happy.

You don't say, apart from your job what keeps you here, or have I missed something? (Sausage eyes smile)

SauceForTheGander Thu 18-Jul-13 23:56:38

We're leaving after nearly 20 years.

I love London and am very conflicted but looking forward to an easier life.... Financially and traffic wise as well as teenagers wanting more freedoms / safety issues.... Poor DH will be commuting but hoping weekend life will make up for it.

allaflutter Thu 18-Jul-13 23:57:24

you could always commute - plenty of villages within one hour, if you aer not fussy about the size/naiceness of hte village!
If I wasn't single, I'd definitely do that (but never lived in village and wouldn't want to alone, and forget about diy on a rural house). Your dc could also easily commmute once they go to UNi, but ime most kids like to share flats with their friends, either in London or in Uni city of their choice, so do not count at all on them wanting to live with you past school!

jobnockey Thu 18-Jul-13 23:58:37

me and dp are in a similar situation to you. we have discussed leaving to move somewhere cheaper, maybe by the sea. I think though, we'd miss it here. I like that theres always something to do, and although its an expensive place, theres loads of brilliant free stuff. I grew up on the coast and never imagined my child being a londoner, but what a great place to grow up.

allaflutter Fri 19-Jul-13 00:00:26

Agree though that London is ridiculously expensive for property, as much as I love it - I had to move too. Good and bad points, like with everything. As a family I think it's better to move, no question, rather than scrimp, save and have no room plus too much use of public transport (esp in this heat).

marriedinwhiteagain Fri 19-Jul-13 00:02:41

I love London and everything about it. DH wants to go back to the North one day though. I'm holding it off for as long as possible - and dd is plugged into school for at least another three years. DS, however, is going to Durham in the autumn so don't think the dc will have their choice of uni's here.

Mind we live in the sort of house my mother refers to as like the houses in the poor part of the village. cluck.

thecook Fri 19-Jul-13 00:04:35

Lived in London since 1995. I come from a small northern town. I love it but my god it has been hard going over the years.

DorothyMantooth Fri 19-Jul-13 00:07:19

We're currently looking to move from a 1-bed to a 2-bed in London, having just had a baby. We've been thinking about moving out of London as prices are prohibitive, DH will probably not be working next year and I work from home. Here we get by, but outside of London we'd have a great standard of living. But I just can't face the thought of leaving. I mean, what will I do when I decide I absolutely must go shopping at 8pm on a Tuesday if I live in Plymouth or some such godforsaken place where the shops close at 5pm?!

piprabbit Fri 19-Jul-13 00:09:47

I loved working in London, but at the end of each day I was always glad to hop on the train and head home to the greenery of Essex. Plus my commute time was less than my colleagues who lived in West London.

piratecat Fri 19-Jul-13 00:11:21

it's really hard to make the decision, i know. i left in 2001, was fed up. me and ex dh took about 6 months to leave, sell up.

i have since had a child, in the countryside, who is now 11, and i have had enough of the countryside, early 40's and feel like i want to go back. I feel as if i have a whole rest of my life feeling that doesn't want to be stuck in a small town, but to enjoy different aspects of London.

Housing costs yes, expensive. Yet other costs are higher here, than London. Water bills for example. Petrol as need to be mobile in rural ish areas.
You have to be really careful making the move. I wasn't totally 100% about leaving but it had started to get to me.

Wallison Fri 19-Jul-13 00:12:49

Having lived in London and now living outside of it, I would say that there are lots of ways in which it isn't really that expensive. There are loads of places to eat out cheaply, for eg, and I find shopping for halfway decent clothes on a budget more of a challenge where I am now. Also, things like concert and theatre tickets aren't massively less expensive out here in the provinces, unless you are accustomed to the best seats in the house. Public transport isn't that great a deal here either - costs as much to go a couple of miles down the road as it would to commute a much longer distance by bus in London, although I will give you that the tube is expensive. However, it is a lot faster and has a more frequent service even late into the night than road transport in other cities in the UK - I rely on taxis to a ludicrous extent now. The one big difference is housing - London prices are crazy, and even if you find something you can afford, you end up compromising somehow or other.

piratecat Fri 19-Jul-13 00:13:05

Dorothy, lol i live an hour from PLymouth, honestly supermarkets do open later than 8.

Not in my town tho.

MadBusLady Fri 19-Jul-13 00:13:10

It's ok to visit but it's too loud, too expensive, too much happening.

When I read this kind of thing I always wonder if you'd feel differently if you lived here. If you lived here you wouldn't do the crazy things tourists feel they have to do, like queuing for Madame Tussauds, toiling up Oxford Street on a Saturday afternoon or milling about pointlessly in Covent Garden/the South bank etc.

I've always felt London is just the opposite. I love living here with all my home comforts half an hour from the centre and being able to pick and choose the best times to go place - but I wouldn't want to be a visitor.

YANBU on the expense, though.

piratecat Fri 19-Jul-13 00:19:02

yes madbuslady, i agree. when i lived in London (Greenwich) i pretty much stuck to within a few miles of where i lived.

I never did the tourist thing, in fact, now i kick myself for not doing much at all. Yet different times, different ages.

NOw i have a child i would love to utilise all those great freebies, sights, sounds.

The one thing that drove me out of London was the constant 'what do you do for a job' type mentality. Plus i was newly married and dreamt of cosy pubs and beaches of my youth.

Now all i have to look forward to is the WI, and local shows, etc...

I am so over all that. Oh and i never go to the beach either lol.

marriedinwhiteagain Fri 19-Jul-13 00:20:00

We are downsizing a tube zone further out. Townhouse - terraced - nothing that special. Not in anything that special now except it's on the river. For what we are in now we would have room for a riding school where my mum lives on the SE Coast; where we are moving we would have room for a few ponies. My mum's lip curls when she visits because she thinks we live in a house for poor people and it really isn't good enough and not what she expected for us. [irritated emoticon]

RunRabbit Fri 19-Jul-13 00:21:28

MadBusLady I'll find out soon enough. I may have to move there for education purposes and I'm shitting a brick.

mellicauli Fri 19-Jul-13 00:22:32

Your only complaint about London is the expense. Is the answer to look for new jobs that pay more money?

allaflutter Fri 19-Jul-13 00:28:57

that's the point MadBus, how much home comforts can you really have there, unless you are minted or have inherited? For most, living in a one bed (350K+ not even in best areas) is just too much compromise, even if you are single but not a youngster! I need more space!But I still come to London once a week - yes, a hassle, but better than either living in a one bed in so-so area, or spending an hour on a horrendous rush hour tune to get to the outskirts and live in a 2-bed flat!
Now, even if I won the lottery, I'd have a small place in London but also a decent size place in some beautiful green area with good transport links, I suppose it's the age thing (not old as such but over 40). Some people are really not fussy and are minimalists, and not bthered about neighbours all around - they could do London on a small budget.

EBearhug Fri 19-Jul-13 00:38:22

I've been thinking about going the other direction (job interview next week) and yeah, I don't know. I do visit London quite often (and have been working there today), but I do also quite like leaving again. OTOH a long commute every day would probably stress me more than living there.

Don't know the answer. I think you need to work out your own pros and cons and costs and also listen to your instincts. (I'm probably just really talking to myself about my misgivings, really...)

lessonsintightropes Fri 19-Jul-13 00:40:46

Hmm, allaflutter we live in SE London, zone 3, trains to London Bridge and Victoria in 15 - 20 mins, pretty frequent service and we bought a 2 bed maisonette with naice garden and loft conversion for well under the stamp duty limit - so it is possible to find somewhere that isn't too far out. I only take 25 mins to get to work grin but I think we are lucky.

I agree with MadBusLady that we don't tend to stray too far normally from home precincts, but love having the convenience of the middle so handy.

But that still doesn't stop me having rampant house envy and big garden envy any time we visit friends living outside of the south east. In fact we've been talking about emigrating to moving to Surrey once DC1 arrives (fingers crossed). But for us, for now, this is the right place to be. But as soon as we get sick of it we'll leave.

OP I suspect we'll feel the same in the coming years and also make the move. YANBU, I hardly know any families who stay in London with the exception of my sis and one cousin, both of who have more than enough money to minimise the downsides.

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