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ILs BYOM bbq - AIBU? (Do I win the prize for most acronyms in an AIBU?)

(93 Posts)
ViviPru Thu 18-Jul-13 17:37:17

The PiLs are hosting their annual summer family bbq at the weekend. Everyone tends to bring a bottle or two, (which suits me as I'm slimming and am happy to provide my own low calorie wine) and a several of us contribute something which tends to be individual to the invitee, so a godparent always takes a particular salad, someone else lives near a nice bakery so always brings some nice breads etc etc. I usually take a pudding or a cake that travels well as we live some distance away. Plus Mil doesn't buy free range eggs so I would rather bring the pudding so I know its provenance. MiL usually gets in touch the week before to confirm whether we will be bringing said items.

This year however, its 'Bring Your Own Meat' for the BBQ. Apparently they have done a booze cruise so have plenty of alcohol and have said not to bring any at all as their fridges are at capacity. They're always fully stocked with booze cruise spoils anyway, so it's slightly annoying that the intimation is there that where they would ordinarily provide BBQ food, they are now providing the drinks instead. And salads and a pudding.

The same number of close family members are invited as usual (about 25 guests in total) and the ILs are definitely not in any financial difficulty whatsoever, they can however be a bit penny pinching and whinged last year about how much the whole shebang was costing.

I'm not opposed to BYOM per se, we often do it with close local friends for small low-key occasions, but AIBU to think that BYOM is a bit of an unreasonable request in these circs and to feel a bit grumpy about it? It's not a huge inconvenience; we will be travelling for 3 hours so I'll need to bring the cool box, not a major issue, but we'll also have to stock up at the butchers now which I hadn't scheduled between now and the weekend, and I CBA to hover over the BBQ to ensure DP gets his nice farm-assured steak and burgers we've brought before some uncle gets his mits on it. I just think the notion is a bit silly. Added to the annoyance of not being able to bring our own drinks (even if we just keep them in the cool box rather than 'demand' fridge space we will still get raised eyebrows) and pudding.

I'm also hot and bothered and anything would probably get my goat right now. Bah.

TWinklyLittleStar Sat 20-Jul-13 19:32:22

Well done on getting the halloumi.

Stabbed anyone with a barbeque fork for looking at your meat too closely yet?

ViviPru Sat 20-Jul-13 15:27:07


Currently southbound on the M1, cool box loaded with naice burgers, vege burgers and HALUMNI! Yes I got some. Had to get the more-expensive-by-weight-than-rhino-horn pre-sliced and marinaded stuff as that's all that was left, but it is nevertheless halloumi.

I considered the flag suggestion, but opted instead for marking our meat territory like a rabid alleycat via the medium of Long Clawson Stilton. DH put forward a case for just taking a block of cheese to slice on once there but I thought pre-sliced and allocated was the way to go in these circs.

P.S. where's the sodding sun gone?

TheCuntingPigeon Fri 19-Jul-13 11:20:05


Flobbadobs Fri 19-Jul-13 11:17:10

Can't really argue with that fantail.. grin

Fantail Fri 19-Jul-13 11:08:19

Message from down under - the heat has made you all mad.

Flobbadobs Fri 19-Jul-13 10:32:04

YABU because there are way too many acronyms in this thread and my brain has just exploded...

MidniteScribbler Fri 19-Jul-13 08:14:04

Takee burgers nd loudly tell everyone that they are a special delicacy. Something like llama testicles with pineapple and cayenne pepper. So one will go anywhere near them. Sorted.

ComposHat Fri 19-Jul-13 07:51:50

op this isn't how it works! you should not be so measured and fair minded in your response.
You should either flounce off or get really aggressive and accuse everyone else of being jealous or drip feed some new information that'll like your inlaws are Rose and Fred West or that they usually fry kittens on their bbq.

Chocovore Fri 19-Jul-13 07:18:00

Buy meat in advance, freeze. It can then defrost on the 3hr journey.

WilsonFrickett Thu 18-Jul-13 23:17:20

You want those sweetbreads nice and rare mind wink

ViviPru Thu 18-Jul-13 23:14:49

Yeh, for DH (or 'DP' if you're referring to my OP. The 'H' status is still v. new and taking a while to get used to)

I've decided I'm going to purchase some nice, ethical offal from Mr. Johnson the butcher and have be done with it. Great uncle Chaz will just LOVE a bit of chicory smoked digestive tract.

WilsonFrickett Thu 18-Jul-13 22:38:04

Well she's talked a lot about stocking up at the butchers Cluffy so presumably she's planning on buying meat? I think for DH. Which she wants to be good quality. But she doesn't want everyone else to eat. Hence taking something else...

Cluffyflump Thu 18-Jul-13 20:35:43

I've seen twice on this fred, people suggesting Vivi take fish to eat.
She stated already that she is a vegetarian.
Fish is meat.
Pescetarians eat fish.
So thay abu.
<I've watched bun fights over this a couple of times now. Is it really too hot to flame anyone?

JackNoneReacher Thu 18-Jul-13 20:33:01

GOY but do make sure you EYOM which is just as important as DYO (hate getting stuck drinking someone elses chardonnay when I brought a lovely NZSB)

jeanmiguelfangio Thu 18-Jul-13 20:24:08

Mmmm non alcoholic kopperberg

Iamsparklyknickers Thu 18-Jul-13 20:23:52

In fact I'm pretty sure it's easy to make yourself if you can be bothered to google (I can't - withers in heat)

jeanmiguelfangio Thu 18-Jul-13 20:23:05

Bloody phone- trying to have a half rant here

Viv-YABU you are bring entitled and you should stop it- does that make you feel better? <waves small white steak flag>

Iamsparklyknickers Thu 18-Jul-13 20:22:44

For those of you suffering a halloumi shortages, paneer (indian cheese) is a really good alternative. You can do all the same stuff with it and I usually get it from the supermarket.

GeordieCherry Thu 18-Jul-13 20:21:30

Low alcohol wine is shite. Becks Blue or no alcohol Koppapear - lush. I have halloumi too, shhh wink

jeanmiguelfangio Thu 18-Jul-13 20:21:12

Oh FUBAR I'm using that!!! Fantast

CSIJanner Thu 18-Jul-13 20:05:43

Why don't you get some quality assured happy butcher to deliver meat that you're happy with on the day of the BBQ to the PILs? That way you don't have to transport it 200miles and use up friends fridge space. I know several that deliver, and they are usually v nice enough to put nice little identifying flags so you know which is yours. You just need to call and butter them up with how their products are superior.

magimedi Thu 18-Jul-13 20:04:02





noelstudios Thu 18-Jul-13 20:03:00

Oh my god, first cape mings. The OP was one of the most boring things I've read on mumsnet.

Xmasbaby11 Thu 18-Jul-13 20:02:41

YANBU ... does sound a pain considering you have to travel. Can't you give IL money to buy some meat, then just eat veggie?

I'm pregnant and dying for a drink ... stop talking about wine .. even low cal wine is sounding good!

WilsonFrickett Thu 18-Jul-13 20:00:03

Tesco usually have it. They also do another one which is ok - again a pink fizz. Can't quite recall but will come back if I do.

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