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ILs BYOM bbq - AIBU? (Do I win the prize for most acronyms in an AIBU?)

(93 Posts)
ViviPru Thu 18-Jul-13 17:37:17

The PiLs are hosting their annual summer family bbq at the weekend. Everyone tends to bring a bottle or two, (which suits me as I'm slimming and am happy to provide my own low calorie wine) and a several of us contribute something which tends to be individual to the invitee, so a godparent always takes a particular salad, someone else lives near a nice bakery so always brings some nice breads etc etc. I usually take a pudding or a cake that travels well as we live some distance away. Plus Mil doesn't buy free range eggs so I would rather bring the pudding so I know its provenance. MiL usually gets in touch the week before to confirm whether we will be bringing said items.

This year however, its 'Bring Your Own Meat' for the BBQ. Apparently they have done a booze cruise so have plenty of alcohol and have said not to bring any at all as their fridges are at capacity. They're always fully stocked with booze cruise spoils anyway, so it's slightly annoying that the intimation is there that where they would ordinarily provide BBQ food, they are now providing the drinks instead. And salads and a pudding.

The same number of close family members are invited as usual (about 25 guests in total) and the ILs are definitely not in any financial difficulty whatsoever, they can however be a bit penny pinching and whinged last year about how much the whole shebang was costing.

I'm not opposed to BYOM per se, we often do it with close local friends for small low-key occasions, but AIBU to think that BYOM is a bit of an unreasonable request in these circs and to feel a bit grumpy about it? It's not a huge inconvenience; we will be travelling for 3 hours so I'll need to bring the cool box, not a major issue, but we'll also have to stock up at the butchers now which I hadn't scheduled between now and the weekend, and I CBA to hover over the BBQ to ensure DP gets his nice farm-assured steak and burgers we've brought before some uncle gets his mits on it. I just think the notion is a bit silly. Added to the annoyance of not being able to bring our own drinks (even if we just keep them in the cool box rather than 'demand' fridge space we will still get raised eyebrows) and pudding.

I'm also hot and bothered and anything would probably get my goat right now. Bah.

Isabeller Thu 18-Jul-13 18:23:32

Lidl vegeburgers? grin

TheVermiciousKnid Thu 18-Jul-13 18:28:38

No. It's my halloumi mountain. I need it because, because ... I can climb right to the very top of it and it's nice and cool up there.

ViviPru Thu 18-Jul-13 18:29:52

MrsS. I hear you. I have a SA cousin-in-law. DH once made the mistake of ordering a beef platter "for two" to share with him one night, my CIL assumed it would be a mammoth meat fest. It wasn't. Suffice to say we had to stop for a kebab for DH on the way home.

YES Mandy - the FUBAR is another peril of BYOM sad

Pobblewhohasnotoes Thu 18-Jul-13 18:46:41

What a waste of an halloumi mountain sigh

ViviPru Thu 18-Jul-13 18:48:35

Incidentally, I can't think of halloumi now without hearing it pronounced 'halumni' (to rhyme with alumni) as it was called by a friend the other day...

Paintyourbox Thu 18-Jul-13 18:53:01

Why don't you put YOM on a plate, cover it with cling film then loudly declare that people are free to help themselves but your friends dog was having a good lick of it before you left their house this morning.

Bogeyface Thu 18-Jul-13 18:55:22

I dont think YABU at all. Its the same as taking a bottle of something expensive to a BYOB party and finding some bastard has sunk the lot, leaving you with warm Lambrini!

I wouldnt want to risk my expensive meat ending up on the plate of someone who just bought a small box of horseburgers!

annabelcaramel Thu 18-Jul-13 18:57:01

There's a pic doing the rounds of cheese on a BBQ, with ' it mi you're looking for?'as a caption. Been singing it all day now. It's the heat...

DeWe Thu 18-Jul-13 18:57:40

Whenever I've been to a BYOM BBQ, everyone's brought enough meat for themselves and others and there was so much left over the hosts are begging for people to eat it.

WilsonFrickett Thu 18-Jul-13 18:59:47

To be honest, I'm usually very careful about meat sourcing but in this situation I'd grab a bag of whatever from supermarket and then just eat veggie myself.

annabelcaramel Thu 18-Jul-13 19:02:01

Why not take fish instead? Big bag of sardines, lovely bbq'd

roundtable Thu 18-Jul-13 19:02:11

You must be seen on the day of the bbq with your finger up your nose, scratching your bum etc, oh and coughing-much coughing all over your food. Then pick it up, give it a quick fondle before handing it over to be bbqed.

I reckon you'll get to eat your food. grin

Leeds2 Thu 18-Jul-13 19:02:18

If PILs are providing the booze, and guests are bringing their own meat, who will be providing the bread and salads? <nosey>

And what is this low calorie wine of which you speak? Is it alcoholic? Does it taste like proper wine?

ViviPru Thu 18-Jul-13 19:15:38

Leeds the PiL's are providing bread and salads, I imagine bog standard jobbies, which is fine but somewhat of a shame because people usually bring lovely stuff they've made/bought. Although DH has been asked to bring some home-made salad dressing hmm

The diet wine is First Cape Sauvignon Blanc Light. It's nowhere near as nice as proper stuff, but it is NZ and the best of all the low calorie wines on offer IMO. You can train your palette to it.

Thank you all for taking the thread in the manner in which it was intended and cheering me up. Vipers indeed. thanks

Sparkletastic Thu 18-Jul-13 19:23:22

I was prepared to be supportive until your 'low calorie wine' point. Low calorie wine is vile. For that alone YABU. No sane person would want to steal it mind you.

Sparkletastic Thu 18-Jul-13 19:24:14

Ha ha - cross posted. But no. Still wrong...

WilsonFrickett Thu 18-Jul-13 19:34:23

The First Cape pink fizz is actually alright. Fizz is often sweeter anyway so it's not so much of a shock. <red drinker trying to cut down on the units>

Leeds2 Thu 18-Jul-13 19:57:06

I will give First Cape a try. Do you buy it from a supermarket? I did buy some low alcohol (not low calorie) stuff from Waitrose a couple of years ago. Can't remember what it was, but it was vile.

WilsonFrickett Thu 18-Jul-13 20:00:03

Tesco usually have it. They also do another one which is ok - again a pink fizz. Can't quite recall but will come back if I do.

Xmasbaby11 Thu 18-Jul-13 20:02:41

YANBU ... does sound a pain considering you have to travel. Can't you give IL money to buy some meat, then just eat veggie?

I'm pregnant and dying for a drink ... stop talking about wine .. even low cal wine is sounding good!

noelstudios Thu 18-Jul-13 20:03:00

Oh my god, first cape mings. The OP was one of the most boring things I've read on mumsnet.

magimedi Thu 18-Jul-13 20:04:02





CSIJanner Thu 18-Jul-13 20:05:43

Why don't you get some quality assured happy butcher to deliver meat that you're happy with on the day of the BBQ to the PILs? That way you don't have to transport it 200miles and use up friends fridge space. I know several that deliver, and they are usually v nice enough to put nice little identifying flags so you know which is yours. You just need to call and butter them up with how their products are superior.

jeanmiguelfangio Thu 18-Jul-13 20:21:12

Oh FUBAR I'm using that!!! Fantast

GeordieCherry Thu 18-Jul-13 20:21:30

Low alcohol wine is shite. Becks Blue or no alcohol Koppapear - lush. I have halloumi too, shhh wink

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