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to have fly rage?

(60 Posts)
Fairylea Thu 18-Jul-13 13:34:53

Seriously fuck off you bastarding cunting fucking fly!

Stop landing on me every two seconds just because I've decided to sit down for a few minutes with a tea.

(Disclaimer : I know flies cannot read. But I am in need of arant).

fluffandnonsense Thu 18-Jul-13 19:54:59

I had a sodding horse fly down my bra on Sunday, the little fucker bit me right on the tit and made me bleed!! But I had real rage when one landed on my poor innocent 4 year old and bit him, the sheer look of terror on his face was enough for me to declare war on all the flying fuckers from now on!!!

TheCunnyFunt Thu 18-Jul-13 20:02:26

I hate the little fuckers angry There's one buzzing around the room now. They often bounce themselves off the kitchen window, so I open the window and they continue to bounce themselves off the other side of the fecking window. The side which isn't open.

24again Thu 18-Jul-13 20:08:43

I have one of those electrified tennis rackets - very, very satisfying when I finally manage to get one of the blighters and it provides endless entertainment for the children whilst they watch my efforts and cheer me on.

malcolmtuckersmum I KNOW... I spray the feckers and no idea where they end up, I never see em, and do they actually SLEEP at night cos two were on my bedroom ceiling all cuddled up last night for what looked like a snooze... urghhh

FuckNugget Thu 18-Jul-13 20:39:24

Oh I definitely get fly rage angry.

We live opposite a farm so you can imagine. The are always fucking shagging as well. Horrible dirty bastards having fun in my kitchen angry. I must say though, when they are doubled up in an embrace its much easier to kill them, plus you get two for the price of one and they die happy smile.

I've had the zapper tennis racquets before bit I've always broken the handle from swatting too hard <unleashing the fury on the fuckers>

We put up those sticky what's it's which are good and this year I've invested in one of those JML magnetic door nets which is proving to be really good smile.

FLY PAPERS! Fecking brilliant, you can see how many of the little bastards you've caught, and try n beat your previous record each time you change one! Also safe and environmentally friendly ...

Marcheline Thu 18-Jul-13 20:52:27

Ooh MyCar fly papers!

Why had I not thought of that before?

I love you.

MalcolmTuckersMum Thu 18-Jul-13 20:52:43

Fly papers <<<strokes chin>>> - but would that be any good for the turbocharged hell-flies on acid?

Fairylea Thu 18-Jul-13 20:54:43

Ewwwww. Shagging flies are just taking the absolute piss. Dh squashed two of them at it yesterday. They were so distracted (!) they didn't see him approach and splat they were gone.... yuck.

MakeGlutenFreeHay Thu 18-Jul-13 21:01:05

I'll loan you all my cat. She gets 'em good. Mind you, she then sits and chews them noisily for ages and makes me envy.

(That's "bleurgh", by the way - I'm not jealous of her snack...!)

LydiasLunch Thu 18-Jul-13 21:02:35

This may sound woo but try hanging a small clear bag containing water with a few 2ps in the bag over doors and windows. Apparently the flies think it's a big nest of rival insects and avoid the area. I've been doing this for a week now and I swear there are less flies. There are still some but the stupider flies don't come in.

The downside is that we are a tall family and keep twatting our heads on bags of water.

froubylou Thu 18-Jul-13 21:09:39

Mmm. Fly papers are fab.

Think they are gross normally but am 18 wk pg and can't stand the thought of spray. And the dog knocked over the Venus fly trap chasing a fly so gone for a paperand hung Iit in the window.

Even better a bit of the sticky stuff stuck to the window. And caught even more bastard flys. 1-0 to me so far I think.

theoldtrout01876 Fri 19-Jul-13 00:40:58


Kills anything that flies and is FUN too. I sit and will the fuckers to fly in so I can shoot them. The Dc's love it,we are a fly deathtrap here.I havent had any flying things in for aaages,word has obviously gone out on the "giant 500 horsepower shit eating super turbocharged blue balls of airborne horror." grapevine grin

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Fri 19-Jul-13 00:51:04

As I sit here reading this thread, right now one of those big buzzy fuckers has started buzzing and crashing its way across my bedroom ceiling! The bastard!

Off to find a flu swat. There's no way it's keeping me awake.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Fri 19-Jul-13 00:58:28

Jesus! It would not die! I kept hitting it with a rolled up bit of card and I think I just made it more angry. In the end I waited till it stopped still and slammed it with the paper flat in my hand. That got the little fucker. Then it took four flushes of the bloody loo to make it disappear! I don't want it crawling back up like a little zombie fly to get me in the middle of the night. shock


TinaSurrey Fri 19-Jul-13 03:31:57

The Red Top Fly Trap (sorry don't know how to link but comes up if you Google it) is life changing. Cheap and amazingly effective. Ours is on the back fence so we can't even see it.

Had one out for last two summers and the difference is unbelievable!

urtwistingmymelonman Fri 19-Jul-13 05:21:13

I counted 11 of them in my kitchen last night.
I too would like to know their purpose.
on the plus side ive not seen many wasps this year.
and yes my cat does bugger all about them too.

Morgause Fri 19-Jul-13 05:44:55

I seem to have lost the plot a tadge. One was just crawling up the computer screen and I tried to hit it with the cursor.


MakeGlutenFreeHay Fri 19-Jul-13 08:05:09

morgause sorry but that did make me laugh!

Pixel Fri 19-Jul-13 20:26:03

I've just got a red top fly trap this week after seeing it mentioned in the MN chicken section. It's been on the fence since yesterday and is full of flies. Think I'll have to order another one straight away. I'm pretty impressed because we've had the sticky fly papers up and the only thing that got stuck was my hair when I walked into one by accident.

GobbySadcase Fri 19-Jul-13 20:28:18

I got DH a leccy bat.
My sitting room now stinks of cremated flies.

MoonlightandRoses Fri 19-Jul-13 22:11:45

Allegedly the Emperor Domitian used to catch flies with a version of chop-sticks...

Personally I find an old tea cloth works wonders as it covers a broader range than most of the annoying so-and-sos can get out of.

The cats here do catch the things, but listening to buzz, buzz, crunch, crunch isn't madly pleasant either.

AuntieMaggie Fri 19-Jul-13 22:19:39

Eww eww eww at that Red Top Fly Trap and fly papers... isn't there something that just stops them coming around in the first place?

I might try the water and 2ps thing...

Poppetspinkpants Fri 19-Jul-13 22:57:35

Went for a pub lunch the other day and there were loads of the little feckers in the restaurant bit.
Won't be going. back there again.

LydiasLunch Fri 19-Jul-13 23:01:03

Try the bag of water!

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