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to have fly rage?

(60 Posts)
Fairylea Thu 18-Jul-13 13:34:53

Seriously fuck off you bastarding cunting fucking fly!

Stop landing on me every two seconds just because I've decided to sit down for a few minutes with a tea.

(Disclaimer : I know flies cannot read. But I am in need of arant).

Fairylea Thu 18-Jul-13 13:36:26

A rant.

Not arant. Sounds like a new fly spray!

sonlypuppyfat Thu 18-Jul-13 13:38:51

My mums got an electric fly killing bat it shocks them to death

Fairylea Thu 18-Jul-13 14:19:23

I need one of those. Maybe one for each hand. I'll go all Andy Murray on them.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Thu 18-Jul-13 14:24:34

There are flies everywhere! They are driving me mad. There are loads in our kitchen, it's horrible.

Callmedreckly Thu 18-Jul-13 14:26:57

I bought a UV zapper last week, its hanging on my hall wall, the bastards are dropping like files grin

although the hall resembles a butchers now with blue lighting

hiddenhome Thu 18-Jul-13 14:42:59

Get a pitcher plant (garden centres). They secrete a sweet substance that attracts insects, then they fall into the pitcher and the liquid inside digests them.

Environmentally friendly, educational and you get an unusual house plant that earns its keep smile

Waffling Thu 18-Jul-13 14:47:36

I've got these on all my windows.

Little buzzy fuckers.

ageofgrandillusion Thu 18-Jul-13 14:48:33

Aerosol and lighter, go napalm them its great fun.

DocMarten Thu 18-Jul-13 14:49:22

I have loads in my kitchen driving me insane. They piss off when I am ready with my swat. Won't land anywhere to get the bastards.
Did fly spray yesterday and sealed them in the room. Half hour later still there happy as larry, laughing at me.

MalcolmTuckersMum Thu 18-Jul-13 14:51:27

It's not just normal flies either. No. It's those giant 500 horsepower shit eating super turbocharged blue balls of airborne horror. I hate those fuckers more than I can express. And they come - one after the other - through any open door or window to make my life a complete misery.

Waffling Thu 18-Jul-13 14:54:42

I found the EGGS of those Blue Balls If Airborne Terror in my cats bowl the other day.

Nearly moved.

OhYouBadBadKitten Thu 18-Jul-13 14:55:45

I use hairspray on them. They cant flap their wings so well and it slows them down for a swot. My cats are rubbish - make no effort at all to go after them.

FayeKorgasm Thu 18-Jul-13 16:00:07

I feel your pain..

I'm in rural Oxfordshire and we get huge horseflies in the house. Nasty, ugly, filthy bastards!

theboutiquemummy Thu 18-Jul-13 19:17:27

Fayek we have those buggers n they don't half hurt like I don't know what

Malcomtuckersmum hate those little bastard especially when they get upstairs !!!

WineNot Thu 18-Jul-13 19:24:44

Am I the only one that (even thought get fly rage), I can't bring myself to kill them? blush

WineNot Thu 18-Jul-13 19:25:26

Even though I get fly rage...

MalcolmTuckersMum Thu 18-Jul-13 19:28:59

boutique YES!! When the fuckers get upstairs it's like they lose all sense of whatever miniscule reason they had in the first place as they fly idiotically from room to room - sometimes within millimeters of an open window only to zoom past it whilst doing a 500mph U-turn on their insane mission to get to another room with an open window.

Fucking useless fuckers!

Marcheline Thu 18-Jul-13 19:29:56

Wine I do hate killing them. Not because of sympathy, because they're bloody disgusting.

We have fecking hundreds of the bastards, horseflies included, ready to invade the minute we open a window. It's driving me bonkers.

What's a good (natural) deterrent? Our cat is useless - if anything, his bowl makes it worse <heave>

MalcolmTuckersMum Thu 18-Jul-13 19:30:22

I'd kill them Wine except I can't catch the fuckers. I will admit I won't use spray - I can't bear the stink of it and I hate the 8 hour 'I'm going to buzz senselessly round and round on the floor' dying routine. grin

dontgowadingin Thu 18-Jul-13 19:32:03

Bastards!! could any one tell me why they are even on this planet? For what reason?!

I cant bare to be in the same room as one!

yes and WHY do they congregate under a light fitting when its not even on and just do the whole circular ballet for HOURS!!!!!

Fairylea Thu 18-Jul-13 19:41:12

Some good ideas here smile thank you!

I am currently under siege from 3 of them!

MalcolmTuckersMum Thu 18-Jul-13 19:43:37

Yes! I want to know that too. That's the little not-too-buzzy really fuckwitted ones. I want to know just what is going on under that light fitting that sends you all into paroxysms of ecstasy? And where do you go when you're done with that? Because there's never a pile of bodies on the floor directly under the light is there? Where to they go?

<<<has real fly rage now>>> <<<irrational>>>

mypussyiscalledCaramel Thu 18-Jul-13 19:52:45

I bought a can of RAID the other day, from sainsbury's. It smells of apples. I haven't got a central light and the fuckers are still going round in circles.

My cat catches the medium sized ones and the B52's come in the kitchen window and out through my bedroom window without doing a circuit

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