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Do I say I mind DH Going and look/feel like a cunt!?

(112 Posts)
dontgowadingin Wed 17-Jul-13 23:01:52

Open to views, don't know if I'm bring selfish or he is...

We have a 9 week old baby and when I had her things went a bit tits up and ended up having emergency section and losing a lot of blood and had blood transfusion.

DH was promised two weeks of work so when I came home tried to rest. Was very tearful as there might have been issues with dc health (thankfully all is well ) and was really struggling breast feeding .

2 days in DH boss was on phone 'asking' him to come back, really important time ect... DH went back and I really struggled.

DH puts in long hours at work and his boss promises the earth but never really comes through with anything.

Now his boss wants to take him and two colleagues to Dubai as a thank u for his hard work.

I've seen my arse, but feel a bit cunty over it.

No trust issues what so ever, he is going away with friends and so am I next year.

I'm I just jelous or does he need to remember he has small angel here that needs him at the moment and me too!

If I'm not happy about it , he won't go.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 18-Jul-13 15:14:53


I was a SAHM for 10 years, my DH is the higher earner. I want to just warn you about the power imbalance that you might be allowing to arise, and the fact that the resentment you have now could be multiplied if this goes on. You are allowed to assert yourself.

thebody Thu 18-Jul-13 15:15:45

good call op, you sound like you have got it together.

did u say you had an 18 year old dd?

fantastic can she help?? 😃

thebody Thu 18-Jul-13 15:18:12

Jamie, I hear you on the power imbalance. my m

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 18-Jul-13 15:18:28

I will back off now, though. smile

dontgowadingin Thu 18-Jul-13 15:18:44

mrs I've just passed a promotion up because I don't know if I can be that flexible when I return. The reason I gave was just that. They was greatfull I was realistic and honest.

There is no point in making DH take a cut on hours so I can stay in work when we would be fanatically effected.. Massively .

I'm a sports coach so being trapped in meetings isn't gonna happen, yes I could be taking a class, but I might not even go back so it's not an issue.

thebody Thu 18-Jul-13 15:19:43

bugger!!! she never worked. can't drive and dad really held the purse strings. she basically couldn't manage without him and he's made himself indispensable as she has no idea of bills or l

thebody Thu 18-Jul-13 15:20:42

bloody hell!!! must be the heat.

anyway don't think op sounds like that sort of person though.

dontgowadingin Thu 18-Jul-13 15:25:27

jaime on the power balance I agree and that is one of the reasons I'm struggling with not going back. Tbh my mind changes day by day. I love my job but my little LO is an IVF baby and don't want to miss anything .

thebody my 18 year old is mum no.2 with this child. She is one spoilt little lady grin

dontgowadingin Thu 18-Jul-13 15:27:36

thebody grin sweaty fingers?!

babyhmummy01 Thu 18-Jul-13 15:29:51

dontgowadingin you dh's boss is being an arse but I agree with you that if there is a risk to.his.future and promotion then as much as it sucks he should go to Dubai. In a less dramatic way I have a similar issue with dp. There is a huge project going on where dp and I work that he is heavily involved in and involves installation of a new machine almost bang on my due date. Dp will need to be at work so his paternity may be delayed and I am facing a c section too so am terrified but considering his involvement could make or break his career at the company then I have encouraged him to do it. This is my first baby and luckily I have friends and family who will help out but like u I am thinking of not going back so dp needs to keep his job and hopefully progress.

Def ask for his paternity to be rescheduled though!

dontgowadingin Thu 18-Jul-13 15:57:59

baby good luck with pregnancy and c section. Make sure you get plenty off rest afterwards !

babyhmummy01 Thu 18-Jul-13 16:10:36

dontgo thanks! I am excited and scared at the same time lol. IMO if ur dh's job gives u chance to stay home or cut ur hours then he needs to grease the wheels so to speak. Timing could be better but if its now or never, go for it. Skype is a fab tool

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