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Wedding gift when not invited to the wedding...

(50 Posts)
QueenCadbury Wed 17-Jul-13 13:59:57

My friend recently got married in a large ceremony in a country hotel. We haven't been that close in the last 4 years due to side taking when I split from ex. I wasn't invited to the wedding but I have heard from another friend that the bride is upset with me for not sending a gift.

Am I right in thinking that I don't need to buy a gift if not invited to the wedding or aibu?

OldLadyKnowsNothing Wed 17-Jul-13 14:01:00

YANBU, especially as you haven't been particularly close for a few years.

expatinscotland Wed 17-Jul-13 14:01:04

Stuff her. Greedy cow. YANBU.

HazleNutt Wed 17-Jul-13 14:02:13

Of course you don't send a present if you're not invited.

TWinklyLittleStar Wed 17-Jul-13 14:02:28

Exactly right.

I have sent gifts when unable to accept an invitation, but never if not invited. I normally hate this phrase but your 'friend' is being very grabby indeed.

Binkyridesagain Wed 17-Jul-13 14:02:51

You do not need to buy her a gift, she's a grabby cow.

AKissIsNotAContract Wed 17-Jul-13 14:03:21

YANBU. Even if you are invited they shouldn't expect a gift.

WorraLiberty Wed 17-Jul-13 14:03:28

Am I right in thinking that I don't need to buy a gift if not invited to the wedding or aibu?

Lol, what do you think?

quoteunquote Wed 17-Jul-13 14:04:26

I would say you were lucky to lose her in the split, her displeasure in not receiving a gift, seem just to confirm it was a positive loss.

Justforlaughs Wed 17-Jul-13 14:04:33

Send a message back, via said friend, that YOU are upset not to have been invited! grin

Waffling Wed 17-Jul-13 14:06:41

I AM invited to a wedding and I'm not buying a gift. Or going.

SconeRhymesWithGone Wed 17-Jul-13 14:08:26

I have given a gift when not invited when the wedding was very small (so no one really invited) and I was very fond of the couple, but in your circumstance, OP, I very definitely would not. YANBU.

BarbarianMum Wed 17-Jul-13 14:10:13

There are circumstances when a gift would be appropriate - to a close friend or relative having a v small wedding - but in this case YANBU.

BramblyHedge Wed 17-Jul-13 14:11:11

The only time we gave a gift without attending a wedding was when our next door neighbours got married. We didn't expect to be invited but were friendly enough with them and thought it neighbourly to give something.

cardamomginger Wed 17-Jul-13 14:13:03

YANBU. In some circumstances a gift could be appropriate (remembers wedding where both sets of parents took control over the guest list and the bride and groom were allowed 20 invitations, between them). But in this case YADNBU. And from her reaction, you are well off out of the friendship.

YoniMitchell Wed 17-Jul-13 14:14:04

Cheeky cow.

Totally appropriate NOT to give a gift if you're not invited! There's not even an obligation to give one if you are.

ImperialBlether Wed 17-Jul-13 14:15:23

She sides with your ex when you split up.

She hasn't seen you for years.

She doesn't invite you to the wedding.

She expects a present.

Is she nuts?

Jemma1111 Wed 17-Jul-13 14:26:49

The only gift she deserves from you with an attitude like hers is something like a fridge magnet or mug with the words 'fuck you' on it !

Your 'friend' is a cheeky bastard

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Wed 17-Jul-13 14:31:50

Hahahahahahaha. She's a cheeky fucking cow.

Buzzardbird Wed 17-Jul-13 14:48:38

Fuck that! Yanbu

YellowDinosaur Wed 17-Jul-13 14:53:16

Ah don't be mean! Get her one of these


YellowDinosaur Wed 17-Jul-13 14:54:43

And send her this card

NightScentedStock Wed 17-Jul-13 14:59:55

A most excellent gift and card yellow

PLEASE send these to her OP

AlpacaPicnic Wed 17-Jul-13 15:40:36

I would send a beautifully gift wrapped bottle of something - like Lambrini!

not dissing lambrini but it would make me chuckle

BigPantyGirl Wed 17-Jul-13 15:43:29

YANBU! What a cheeky bitch!

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