Wedding gift when not invited to the wedding...

[QueenCadbury]

My friend recently got married in a large ceremony in a country hotel. We haven't been that close in the last 4 years due to side taking when I split from ex. I wasn't invited to the wedding but I have heard from another friend that the bride is upset with me for not sending a gift.

Am I right in thinking that I don't need to buy a gift if not invited to the wedding or aibu?

[OldLadyKnowsNothing]

YANBU, especially as you haven't been particularly close for a few years.

[expatinscotland]

Stuff her. Greedy cow. YANBU.

[HazleNutt]

Of course you don't send a present if you're not invited.

[TWinklyLittleStar]

Exactly right.

I have sent gifts when unable to accept an invitation, but never if not invited. I normally hate this phrase but your 'friend' is being very grabby indeed.

[Binkyridesagain]

You do not need to buy her a gift, she's a grabby cow.

[AKissIsNotAContract]

YANBU. Even if you are invited they shouldn't expect a gift.

[WorraLiberty]

Am I right in thinking that I don't need to buy a gift if not invited to the wedding or aibu?

Lol, what do you think?

[quoteunquote]

I would say you were lucky to lose her in the split, her displeasure in not receiving a gift, seem just to confirm it was a positive loss.

[Justforlaughs]

Send a message back, via said friend, that YOU are upset not to have been invited!

[Waffling]

I AM invited to a wedding and I'm not buying a gift. Or going.

[SconeRhymesWithGone]

I have given a gift when not invited when the wedding was very small (so no one really invited) and I was very fond of the couple, but in your circumstance, OP, I very definitely would not. YANBU.

[BarbarianMum]

There are circumstances when a gift would be appropriate - to a close friend or relative having a v small wedding - but in this case YANBU.

[BramblyHedge]

The only time we gave a gift without attending a wedding was when our next door neighbours got married. We didn't expect to be invited but were friendly enough with them and thought it neighbourly to give something.

[cardamomginger]

YANBU. In some circumstances a gift could be appropriate (remembers wedding where both sets of parents took control over the guest list and the bride and groom were allowed 20 invitations, between them). But in this case YADNBU. And from her reaction, you are well off out of the friendship.

[YoniMitchell]

Cheeky cow.

Totally appropriate NOT to give a gift if you're not invited! There's not even an obligation to give one if you are.

[ImperialBlether]

She sides with your ex when you split up.

She hasn't seen you for years.

She doesn't invite you to the wedding.

She expects a present.

Is she nuts?

[Jemma1111]

The only gift she deserves from you with an attitude like hers is something like a fridge magnet or mug with the words 'fuck you' on it !

Your 'friend' is a cheeky bastard

[DesperatelySeekingSedatives]

Hahahahahahaha. She's a cheeky fucking cow.

[Buzzardbird]

Fuck that! Yanbu

[YellowDinosaur]

Ah don't be mean! Get her one of these

:o

[YellowDinosaur]

And send her this card

[NightScentedStock]

A most excellent gift and card yellow

PLEASE send these to her OP

[AlpacaPicnic]

I would send a beautifully gift wrapped bottle of something - like Lambrini!

not dissing lambrini but it would make me chuckle

[BigPantyGirl]

YANBU! What a cheeky bitch!

[YouTheCat]

I have one of those mugs. I was going to give it to the ex at Christmas (from the kids) but I rather like it.