Went out with dh's db last night who is absolutely lovely. He's 21 but still lives at home, and is quite easily led by his parents as they can be complete bullies and he is quite sensitive.
Iv posted about the ils before as I have concerns regarding their behaviour in the past and also once my baby is born in the near future.
Dbil is beyond excited about the baby but said a few things that worry me a little bit. He said that he can't wait to hold the baby, but followed it with "when dad lets me", talking about fil. He also said he would love to look after her when she is old enough to be away from me, but again said "if mum and dad let me" (definitely talking about pils not us).
I stopped him there and made it clear that any decisions about who will be looking after mine and dh's child will be made by us. We would have no problem with dbil looking after our baby as he is a lovely responsible bloke, who is going to absolutely adore his neice. He started to say "but mum and dad said..." but then went all quiet.
There have been arguments between us and pil in the past which dbil hates so I think he probably decided it was best not to say anything. From the gist of the conversation, my best guess is that they have said that they will be having our baby, but dbil will not be having her. Dbil was genuinely surprised when I said we would be happy for him to look after her once she is old enough and he has got to know her and her needs. He clearly thought there was no chance, and our relationship with him is really good, so it hasnt come from us.
Aibu to be a quite worried and pissed off that it would seem pils are dictating to dbil what he will and won't be allowed to do with our child without speaking to us? In all honesty I would trust dbil with our baby 100x more than my pils!!! He is sweet, loving and kind and his only fault is being bullied by them. I made it clear to him that he is always welcome to see her at our home, and will be one of the first in line for baby sitting duties when I'm ready to be away from her.
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AIBU?
To be a bit concerned by this re my inlaws.
49 replies
HeffalumpTheFlump · 17/07/2013 09:35
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