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To get really quite cross about gender separation starting from newborn?

(161 Posts)
ComtessedeFrouFrou Sun 14-Jul-13 12:16:15

In M & S today and thought I'd look at their newborn basics for DC1, due in early October. We're not planning to buy masses for DC1 as my sister warned me that we're likely to get given lots, but obviously I don't want to be out shopping straight from the labour ward.

Clothes for 0-2 years, already separated into boys and girls. There are a few bits in white and almost nothing else that could properly be described as being gender neutral. We don't know the sex of the baby but even once he or she is here I am determined that whatever sex the baby turns out to be, they will not spend their lives dressed exclusively in blue or pink (delete as appropriate).

Why is it so hard to find stuff that is neutral? I tend to buy more neutral things for friends with children, even if they are obviously for a boy/girl. For my DC1, I have basically had to tend towards the more boyish end of the spectrum in order to avoid being drowned in sugary pink. I wear blue about 4 days out of 7, so why do little girls have to spend their lives in pink?

Ironically, given everything I have heard about how shit they are in all other respects, Mothercare seems to be one of the few places you can get genuinely gender neutral clothes for very small babies.

Carolra Sun 14-Jul-13 12:22:00

Try Next, I found they had quite a bit in primary colours. It does piss me off how hard it is to find non pink/blue clothes but I guess the shops stock what people buy....

Laquila Sun 14-Jul-13 12:23:56

I don't really have any sensible advice but do feel your frustration! I've found Sainsburys to have some good brightly-coloured unisex packaged bodysuits, and also Vertbaudet does some nice stuff in more muted, classy colours, but mainly for toddlers. It is baffling to me that 99% of boys' stuff has rockets, tractors and dinosaurs on it.

moogy1a Sun 14-Jul-13 12:24:58

just buy blue clothes for a girl and vice versa. not really a problem> boys t shirts fit girls just as well

FredFredGeorge Sun 14-Jul-13 12:26:06

YABU on this, I had no trouble finding all sorts of neutral clothes for DD in all sorts of shops, some people like dressing their children in pink...

WorraLiberty Sun 14-Jul-13 12:26:18

so why do little girls have to spend their lives in pink?

Who says they do? confused

As moogy says, just buy whatever colours you want to dress the baby in.

Erato Sun 14-Jul-13 12:27:34

H+M is pretty good for gender neutral baby things. But I agree with you, it's ridiculous how much baby blue and pale pink there is in tiny baby clothes - both are colours I hate and if I get given any my official plan is to dye them a different colour!

WilsonFrickett Sun 14-Jul-13 12:27:56

Boots new range has bright colours and prints, rather than blue and pink.

DollyWhite Sun 14-Jul-13 12:28:09

"It is baffling to me that 99% of boys' stuff has rockets, tractors and dinosaurs on it."
Agree, and it is not without impact. I was sad the other day when a very young boy questioned dd as to why she had a dinosaur on her t-shirt, when dinosaurs are for boys, apparently.

DollyWhite Sun 14-Jul-13 12:29:57

I think it's much easier to find neutral colours nowadays. However, I am tired of the pink/blue divide still present in many shops; whether that be clothes, toys or books!

ComtessedeFrouFrou Sun 14-Jul-13 12:31:26

But the point is that I'd rather it was much more in the middle of the spectrum. I don't care if my little boy goes out in a t shirt with fairies on it, but I dare say I'd attract some strange looks and/or comments. It's not that I care too much what people think, but I can imagine it will get quite tiresome quite quickly. If there was stuff that wasn't so identifiably one or the other, it would be better in my view.

Laquila you are right, Sainsburys is also better on this score. Jojo Maman Bebe seems to be the best - and in particular for stuff for boys that isn't endless tractors and diggers - which is just as bad as the obligatory fairies IMHO.

ComtessedeFrouFrou Sun 14-Jul-13 12:32:33

Sorry, that last was in response to Moogy and Worra

Fozziebearmum2be Sun 14-Jul-13 12:32:52

Completely agree-also have no new useful ideas (I've found mothercare the best) but share your frustration...


moogy1a Sun 14-Jul-13 12:36:56

All my ds's have gone through a phase of wearing princess / fairy outfits complete with wings, sparkly pink shoes and handbag) to shops / nursery. never had a negative comment or funny look so I don't think a slightly more subtle fairy logo top would attract any attention!
maybe I'm just oblivious though and am widely known as the lady with the trannie toddlers

RoooneyMara Sun 14-Jul-13 12:41:50

I've been dressing ds3 in some lovely things from H&M that are white with lace and so on - he is 6 months and looks gorgeous in them.

No one would have batted an eyelid 40 years ago when a baby was just a baby, but people seem to think it is odd. I think the things I got may have been meant for girls but I got them off the sale rail, because I liked I'm not sure.

I get everything that he has a blue and white stripey t shirt, with slightly puffed sleeves and very pale pink edging - again, girl or boy? Who knows, but he doesn't care.

RoooneyMara Sun 14-Jul-13 12:43:23

I mean some of the boy babies we see at school are in nike trainers, jeans and baseball caps before they are a month old.

IMO a little cotton gown in this heat is worth a bit of funny looks if it keeps him comfortable.

mrsjay Sun 14-Jul-13 12:53:08

I think M n S are quite old fashioned still even with grown up a bit girls and boys clothes, try boots sainsbury and other shops for neutural clothes, dd1 is 20 and I used to get clothes for her in Boots and Debenhams they had neutral baby grows and stuff back then,

slightlysoupstained Sun 14-Jul-13 12:58:40

Came on with a couple of suggestions, but see other people have already made them.

I do find it annoying, and the dominance of "Your passive but cute ickle girlie!" vs "Your active but naughty little man" makes me more determined to avoid all that crap for as long as I can. I end up mostly buying boys clothes (I like rocketships and dinos) but avoid the ones with "ooh boys are soo naughty" messages.

mrsjay Sun 14-Jul-13 13:03:16

IS it more of a thing nowaday cos I never bought into the pink girlie princessy clothes when Mine were younger and I always managed to find nice clothes for them confused

QueenMaeve Sun 14-Jul-13 13:22:02

I've never known what any of my 5 dc were before they were born and never found it a problem buying baby clothes, cream, white, lemon,, pastels, red, bright primary colours. Theres a world of stuff for sale!

Nishky Sun 14-Jul-13 13:25:36

I always went for bright primary colours too.

WafflyVersatile Sun 14-Jul-13 13:26:06

even in newborn clothes there is the 'daddy's little monster' and 'mummy's little princess' angry

MrsPercyPig Sun 14-Jul-13 13:27:29

Do we have gender neutral clothes for adults? confused

Are you talking specifically about newborns?

I'm looking at my 5 month ds and can't imagine why I would want to dress him "gender neutral" as he is a boy!

raisah Sun 14-Jul-13 13:29:17

Next, Mothercare, Jo jo Maman Bebe, Verbaudet & Gap have started to stock primary & gender neutral baby clothes. Sainsburys too.

stargirl1701 Sun 14-Jul-13 13:29:17

YANBU! I have found the Scandinavian brands excellent. Polarn O Pyret, Smafolk, Katvig, etc. I have mostly bought through eBay as I wanted to try and buy second hand as much as possible.

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