To say no children after 8pm?

[stella1w]

I'd like to host a party, particularly to see friends i don't normally see. I was thinking of a childfree evening party. Then i thought some of my friends with kids might like to bring them, so am considering having a from 4pm party that people can drop by as and when. I'd like to put my kids to bed and enjoy the rest of the evening with old friends at 8. I don't think it's fair on my kids to go to bed if their friends are still playing in our garden and I don't anyway want to host a load of overtired kids...so could i make clear it's a party in two stages?

[Justforlaughs]

I don't see why not or as an alternative- put a tent up in the garden and have a sleepover for all the kids.

[PoppyWearer]

What ages are the children? Is the party on a school night or in the holidays?

My DCs have been known to keep going until very late if at a party in the holidays.

Nice in theory but I think if you allow children, you face the possibility of the children still being there after the cut-off time.

Or you say "no children" and don't see some of your friends.

[PoppyWearer]

Tent is a great idea!

[stella1w]

Reception age kids, holiday. Have tried sleepovers with the parents and kids before in the hopes that they would crash out and we would have a good catch up and they were running around screaming at 11pm. They are too young for a tent, they won't sleep...

[ifyourehoppyandyouknowit]

If you say no children after 8, people will go home and put their kids to bed and then stay at home because tbh, what a total pain in the arse to then have to come back. I say put a tent up in the garden and bribe the kids with sweets to stay contained while you enjoy your evening.

[2tired2bewitty]

What do you envisage happening at 8? Do your friends have people who will come and pick their kids up and take them home to bed, or will one half of a couple have to go home possibly wait for a babysitter or not return?

If you want a grown up party that's fine, I just think it would be more practical to just go for that from the outset rather than half and half

[PoppyWearer]

Maybe get them all into pyjamas and stick on a DVD at 8pm, providing them with snacks, shove them in the living room and escape to the garden?

[stella1w]

I am expecting them to go home and stay home if they have kids... I am thinking my childfree friends will stay/come later. Am suggesting an early shift so parents don't have to get a sitter.

[stella1w]

Right... I can see it will be better to have grown up only party..i wouldn't mind kids earlier on but i can see it won't work

[ILoveDolly]

We have done this with friends and had a big sleepover. Well, the kids did not sleep! But they all had fun snuggling under covers reading books and telling stories whilst we were downstairs (there were a few parents who weren't drinking btw!) Worked OK. It was New Yr, so babysitting tricky. Personally though I do prefer either daytime with kids or no children at all.

[apostropheuse]

How do you get them to actually leave at eight if there are no signs of them going? Are you confident enough to tell them straight that it's home time for them?

[2tired2bewitty]

I'm not sure it's going to be possible to make the parents with kids go home at 8 without causing offence.

I'd just plan an adults only evening event and hope that some of your friends with kids can get a sitter

[auntiezzzzz]

My friend had a 40th and made the invites very clear - kids welcome until 9.00 pm.

No one was offended and the intention was good - nice to see kids but nice to have kid free time too.

Unfortunately it didn't work out well as so many left at 9.00 that the party really flagged after. It was loads more fun before the kids left and those of us that stayed wished there hadn't been such a strict curfew.

[2tired2bewitty]

Slow typing there - enjoy your evening

[flipchart]

No I wouldn't do it
Are you having a hand over time! First lot of friends 4. /. 8. Next lot 8 / 11
I have a close knot group of about 9 friends who all get on. I can imagine a couple with the kids coming to the early session, then bumping into the second wave of friends and then stopping to catch up and natter. You will be getting more pissed off because you want the kids gone and they will be gossiping and having a nice time.

[stella1w]

I think auntiez is right...it might work but it could bring the thing to a crashing halt. I'll keep it grownups only...

[bonkersLFDT20]

I'd go for the "pile them in the lounge with duvets, a DVD and snacks" option.

Maybe if you make it clear that you want the evening to be a more adult event, people might find sitters anyway?

[BackforGood]

Why not send the invite out, letting people choose...

"Open house 2 - 5pm, families all invited
and / or you are also welcome to our child free zone from 8pm"

....type of thing, as it gives a clear 'marker' for all the dc to go home. People can still come to both if they choose, or those that prefer an 'adults only' party can come in the evening only, and those who will only go out if their dc are invited, can still go in the afternoon, which - and this is the important bit - has a clear finish time.

[stella1w]

That's interesting...it would also give me an interval to put the kids to bed.. Clear the garden of toys and tidy up a bit for round two..

[flipchart]

Backforgood you are still left with the problem that auntiezzzz expierenced.

A big group of people will jut leave possibly making the party flag.

[flipchart]

Ah sorry backforgood I misunderstood you.

That is making it a long day and hard work for the host.
A good idea but the OP would be knackered having to more or less organise 2 parties .

[BackforGood]

It's what we did for our housewarming when the dc were little. To my mind, the work in hosting a party is the tidying and cleaning beforehand - well, you only have to do that once, then you stand around chatting to your friends in the party bit - I don't call that part hard work.

[Whothefuckfarted]

Have an adult party or kids party. You can't send kids off half way through. It won't work.

[flipchart]

I'm going to a party from tomorrow afternoon in to the evening.
It's a general invite and my kids are teens now so it isn't an issue for them but most people who have kids tend to drift off around the 10.pm mark any way as they don't want their children cranky.

Why not leave it open and let the parents make the call to go home.

[Hassled]

The danger of leaving it open is that you'll end up with that one person who is happy to let their over-tired small child winge on till way too late at night .

I think it has to be an either/or - the split invitation is a good idea.