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to think kids should leave school without all this fuss?

(112 Posts)
Newcupboards Fri 12-Jul-13 20:41:48

Leavers' Assemblies where every last ounce of emotion is wrung out of kids, parents and teachers with Year 6 murdering singing 'Slipping Thru My Fingers' whilst photographs of them from Reception to current day are projected onto the wall.

Then there's the Leavers' Proms! Bloody tacky American import angry

In my day we had a quick mention in morning prayers (primary) and a disco without a limosine and the same at secondary. Now it's squeals and emotional incontinence.

Can't we just get back a bit of British stiff upper lip and get on with life changes without making such a drama.

Blueandwhitelover Thu 18-Jul-13 18:00:47

We had the leavers' assembly today, I cried.
We had wonderful news about one of the children yesterday which meant so much both to them and those of us who have been with them over the last few years. (some of us including me shed tears over it yesterday too!)
We are professionals but we do care!

Whatdoiknowanyway Sun 14-Jul-13 09:09:31

I went to a convent school. We had a leavers' mass. We got to choose our own readings and hymns.
I prefer the modern way, a prom and muck up day.

SelectAUserName Sun 14-Jul-13 06:45:42

I think there's a middle ground between nothing to mark the occasion at all and a full-blown sobfest at every stage, and I think it has swung a bit too far towards the latter these days.

sensesworkingovertime Sat 13-Jul-13 20:02:09

YANBU I hate hate hate all this prom stuff with 16 girls looking like Katie Price or someone off TOWIE it's just urrrggghhhh. For my leavers disco in 1982 it was the time of Dexys, hence I had the dungarees etc I would have to be dragged kicking and screaming to all this shite they have these days.

cardibach Sat 13-Jul-13 18:31:11

It's not new, though, just a change in terminology. I am old and when I left primary school in 1976 we had a Leavers' Disco and a special Leavers' Service in the evening in the church (state primary, but with church links) at which we were all presented with a bible and there were speeches, hymns and performances.
When I left Secondary in 1983 we had a 'Dinner Dance' (a prom by another name) which necessitated dressing up. It was at a local hotel and we all loved it.
I think the excessive dressing up/limos etc at primary is OTT, but the principle is the same.

dementedma Sat 13-Jul-13 18:24:17

Ds had just a leavers Mass a few weeks ago for leaving primary which was lovely. When the dds left high school ( I have a big age gap) they had a leavers ball but it was sensible and pretty ball dresses for the girls and kilts for the boys - not a limousine in sight.

manicinsomniac Sat 13-Jul-13 18:18:25

Try witnessing the mass emotional hysteria that comes with 13 year olds leaving their boarding prep school. I felt drained and headachey by the end of it just watching all the hugging, sobbing and theatrics.

But even I (as a teacher not a parent) felt teary. When you've watched the children develop from age 7 into what they are now it's hard not to.

And I can't really blame the children either. They're hormonal, they've grown up together and are, in many ways, all brothers and sisters. They don't live close to each other and they're going to a wide range of different senior schools all over the country. Certainly the end of an era.

Clary Sat 13-Jul-13 18:01:21

I hate the limos for yr 6 tbh. A friend just mentioned he had had to pay out £35 for one for his dd.

£35 is a lot of money in this house. I think it's a bit silly. I have already told DS2 no for next year.

I do like the leavers' play and disco etc tho.

Panzee Sat 13-Jul-13 17:56:05

So who remembers this one?

piprabbit Sat 13-Jul-13 14:36:37

When I left secondary school, we were escorted from the premises on the day of our last exams (obviously everyone did different exams so difference people had different leaving dates) and told to never darken their door again.

There were people who I had been friends with for many years and I never got to say goodbye. It still makes me cross that we were denied the chance of a proper goodbye. I don't know why the school chose to treat us like this, previous years were treated a 'special', we got treated like shit on their shoes. It probably stems from the same attitude that lead to the teacher in charge of supporting students through UCAS and clearing, booking his holiday to coincide with A-level results coming out.

nickymanchester Sat 13-Jul-13 14:31:08

As others have said, it does seem to have gone overboard now. However, I'm sure that they'll still remember it when they are grown up.

We had a Leavers assembly at junior school, the whole school attended, and the one thing I still remember very vividly from that - as they played it every year - was a piano duet version of ''Fings ain't wot they used t'be'':-

Don't know why they did it but I still remember it to this day. So, I'm sure kids today will remember these things when they're grown up.


I've spent a few years abroad and, actually, I think that it's a shame that we don't celebrate the start of the year as well.

When I lived abroad, the first day of school was a really big deal with speeches, new pupils giving flowers to the teachers and a ceremonial ''First Bell'' being rung jointly by the youngest pupil in the school and the oldest pupil in the school.

For anyone interested, there's a short video here with English subtitles:-

jamdonut Sat 13-Jul-13 13:53:48

Every year Leavers Assembly (primary) makes me cry. I just can't help it ...and I'm staff!

As for Prom,my daughter was on her school's committee. We spent an entire year having to think about it!

In the end, we personally spent about £80...that was a short dress from Ebay for £33 which looked GORGEOUS,shoes, bag,make-up. Hair and make-up all done by herself and she went in an ordinary people carrier with her several friends. I noticed girls wore much more sedate,classy dresses this year. Presumably no-one wanted to look as if they were out of Big Fat Gypsey Wedding!! However ,there were some who had spent hundreds on dresses,and all the the rest, including limousines. Seems a bit over the top to me.

They had a lovely night though!

Hulababy Sat 13-Jul-13 12:29:41

Exactly soupdragon.

As all the parents were saying at dd's leavers stuff yesterday, it's sad because the girls have loved it all so much and that chapter is now over

hernow Sat 13-Jul-13 11:40:26

OP I'm with you. When we left school each stage was just hugs even those you didn't like you hugged as it was an ending. Teachers were lovely and hugged too giving lots of words of encouragement now you were going. Everyone happy to move onto the next stage. Now it's expense/cringing moments/worrying about not being miss or master popular - awards and prizes for the popular or brightest and of course the "best awards" go to those who really tried but were still rubbish at school stuff.

SoupDragon Sat 13-Jul-13 11:38:53

I felt emotional at both DSs leavers assemblies and Y6 play because they were having such a fabulous time.

geeandfeesmum Sat 13-Jul-13 11:33:57

I disagree with OP. When I left school we were just sat in our Science lesson and then the headmaster came in and said "Ok, you can go now."

It was horrible. We never got to say goodbye properly or feel as though the occasion had any importance.

I always wished that we had have had a prom or disco or something to let us mark the occasion.

GertrudeMorel Sat 13-Jul-13 11:32:03

We've got it all to come this week.

Leavers' play, leavers' service and barbecue, leavers' assembly, leavers' party.

My dh has been to one production of the play - he said by the end most of the mums had their sunglasses on to conceal the tears.

Then there will be the leaver's book of achievements, hoody and bible. I have lost count of how many donations we've made for it all.

It's like they want to make everyone cry.

When my eldest left - the leavers' service was excruciating. The children were crying, the parents, and most of the teachers.

I am steeling myself - I am not going to be crying. My ds will cry if I cry. I want it to be a happy week after such a happy time at a great school, not one spent bawling.

mrspaddy Sat 13-Jul-13 11:13:56

I still have my signed school shirt.. 'Live fast, die young, may all your men be well hung'..

ha ha.. went to a Convent school blush

namechangetocover Sat 13-Jul-13 11:09:10

When my sister (severely autistic) left school we had a fab time, her teachers produced a slideshow of photos and played varying 'meaningful' songs, her classmate (has downs syndrome) read something and my sister sung some Hannah Montana song (The Climb or something) , the local MP presented awards. Was lovely smile My mum did cry but so did the headteacher, and various other staff. I'll never forget the classroom assistant snivelling away and passing tissues to my mum!

namechangetocover Sat 13-Jul-13 11:03:30

When we left primary we had a normal day- however our school had been burnt to thr ground 3 years before, we were being schooled in portacabins.. On the last day of term the contractors handed over the keys to the new school during assembly.. My year group, having been the final group to have been directly involved with the school burning, were allowed the first look at the new school. That was far more exciting than a dance. We had a concert too, and a small party with punch and an Atomic Kitten CD afterwards.

Secondary, we did nothing other than throwing water bombs. We didn't even get a year book.. Bought some juice and donuts for lunch and I have a signed top but nothing else. My school held the dance - a ball - in February for some reason.. That did involve limos etc.

80sMum Sat 13-Jul-13 11:02:30

When I left primary school there were no special assemblies, no discos, no parties nor any other event to mark the occasion. Some of us exchanged addresses or wrote each other little messages in autograph books and that was that. When the final bell rang we all just went our separate ways.
It was exactly the same when I left secondary school 6 years later.
That was in the '60s and' 70s.

I think it would have been nice to have some sort of event to mark the occasion. I particularly felt this when I left the 6th form, as we all just drifted away at different times, after we had sat our last exam.

Hulababy Sat 13-Jul-13 10:44:54

Newcupboards - yours might not be bothered, but I know my DD most certainly was. As was the other 10 girls from her very small class of 11. Especially the 4 not going on to the next school together, and even the 7 that are realise that it won't be the same any more and they are being split between classes, etc. It is a big thing for me DD and her friends, hence I have no issue whatsoever of making it special. It's not cost ous loads but she has certainly had a nice time and will remember her time fondly.

RoooneyMara Sat 13-Jul-13 10:43:44

Soup - you haven't met our HT. smile

When I left primary school there was no leavers assembly, no disco, no party, nothing. It felt very flat.

My DS3 leaves on Friday. They are doing a leavers assembly at which I will cry, though they have abandoned the sad song as it caused too many tears in rehearsal, apparently. Parents have organised a decorated Routemaster double decker bus to take them to their party. I can't see the harm.

Leaving secondary school in 1981 was a complete non event for me. Easter leavers, who were already 16 could leave at Easter without taking any CSEs/O levels if they wanted. Everyone else left on the last day of whatever exams they were doing, so in dribs and drabs. No leavers disco or anything.

I would have liked some marking of leaving school. It was the end of 11 or 12 years of daily education. I guess many now go on to 6th form, though. In my comp only 10% went on to do A levels, so we really were saying goodbye at the end of the 5th year.

Newcupboards Sat 13-Jul-13 10:39:48

But <old gimmer alert> we managed to leave school with a mixture of sadness and relief without tears and hugs ... Without sappy songs sung to sobbing parents. Most 11 year olds are indifferent to all but a handful of their peers anyway. They couldn't give a toss that they've known X since Reception.

The Leavers' Assemblies are IMVHO often not for the kids but for the parents who enjoy getting maudlin (probably the same folk who enjoy the sob stories on BGT and the like).

Let's put the backbone back into Britain!

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