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OH and his holiday with his brother

(63 Posts)
SaveWaterDrinkMalibu Fri 12-Jul-13 19:40:11

OH has just announced that he is going away with his twat of a brother in August for a week.

Last time he went away with his brother he ended up being arrested on the first night, 'falling'' in the sea at night & cheating on me. It all happened because of his brother.

Am I being unreasonable to put my foot down and tell him not to go? They are going back to the same place

AmberLeaf Mon 15-Jul-13 13:16:21

You've been had OP, sorry but this holiday will go the same way as the last, he will cheat on you.

gotthemoononastick Mon 15-Jul-13 13:07:24

Snapped my string of pearls whilst clutching them and laughing so much at Fragglewumps marvellous turn of phrase!!

HaveIGotPoosForYou Mon 15-Jul-13 12:29:48

He is a complete liar, I am afraid.

I know it's probably not what you want to hear and it's obviously not what you exactly asked from the OP but it's the truth.

If he did drug your partner then:
--Your partner wouldn't want anything to do with him again even if he is his brother especially since he could've ruined his relationship with the woman he 'loves'.
--It doesn't account for why the woman would've slept with him. After all, she'd not be too keen sleeping with a guy who is completely out of it.
--Normally when you are spiked the drugs that are used prevent you from getting aroused properly/cause erectile problems so it's very unlikely they would've been able to have sex.
--If it did happen he'd vow never to go on holiday with his brother again.

So, I am pretty sure he's talking like a twat and he has fooled you into believe him, because you care for him so much.

I am sorry, OP.

OnIlkelyMoorBahtat Mon 15-Jul-13 12:16:58

Oh OP, you can do so much better than this loser

YouStayClassySanDiego Sat 13-Jul-13 12:19:05

Why are you still with this bloke?

whattodoo Sat 13-Jul-13 12:13:53

Tell him that if he goes, you won't be around when he gets back.

Actually, leave him anyway. He is treating you with zero respect.

Mia4 Sat 13-Jul-13 10:47:09

OP he lied to you, if he really was drugged he'd be furious at his brother, furious for the poor woman and furious for you-he would have nothing to do with his brother again. I get you want to believe his brother made him do these things but the truth is sadder that your OH would blame his brother and you would accept it.

He is going away again because he knows that you believed him and so can come back and hang his head in fake shame telling all about how he was 'spiked' again and forced to commit acts. The truth is though if he genuinely had been the first time, he'd be furious, they'd be no trust and he wouldn't want near his bro.

Also the fact he told you rather then discus it in advance shows how little he truly gives a damn and how confident he is in his own lies.

Please leave him OP, find someone who'll be honest and who won't try to manipulate you. At the very least go to RELATE, print out this thread and talk to them about the whole thing.

Skintorama Sat 13-Jul-13 10:22:51

Oh this is a really sad thread.

Life doesn't have to be like this.

quoteunquote Sat 13-Jul-13 10:17:26

It comes down to this,

He is making his choices, you now have to make yours, find something you can live with.

If he had any misgiving about his previous behaviour he would never put himself in that position again.

most normal people would never have anything to do with someone who had spiked them with drugs whoever they are,

Anyone who claims that they were forced to cheat, is a liar.

Anyone who believes someone was forced to cheat is either very stupid, or fooling themselves because dealing with truth is unpalatable.

He not acting like someone who adores his wife.

Why do you tolerated being treated like this ?

TartinaTiara Sat 13-Jul-13 09:59:18

Do yourself a favour, OP. YABU to prevent him from going; pack his bags, give him a fiver for spending money and tell him not to let the door hit his arse. YWBVVVVVVVU to let him come back.

LIZS Sat 13-Jul-13 09:04:11

He sounds a real catch hmm If you say no will he go anyway ? And if so use the time off to rethink your relationship and get checked for STD's

Whothefuckfarted Sat 13-Jul-13 08:57:42

Why are you still with him.

ariane5 Fri 12-Jul-13 23:19:41


But really, save yourself all the worry and just get rid then it doesn't matter what he does.

I speak from experience.

AnyFucker Fri 12-Jul-13 23:11:52

Oi, BM, don't let yours off the hook because this one is a slightly worse bastard than yours ....

Broodymomma Fri 12-Jul-13 21:35:29

Why are some men such utter stupid selfish pigs? I was getting all upset over a holiday without us type of thing on my own thread but reading this has just made me see that some men are just vile pigs who do what they want when they want stuff anyone else as they will always talk their way round it after they have had their fun. You deserve better op and so do I!!!!

AnyFucker Fri 12-Jul-13 21:28:53

Oh dear

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper Fri 12-Jul-13 21:27:02

Sorry OP - I guess this thread isn't going at all the way you thought it would.

I bet your OH and his buffoon brother couldn't believe it when you bought their story. It's so far-fetched, but was probably the best they could come up with in the short time frame, that they thought it was worth a try, never really thinking you'd go for it.

The rest of us aren't so willingly ready to have the wool pulled over, as we're not in the slightest bit enamoured with your OH, so it's far easier for us to recognise blantant cheating-related lies when we see them.

The thing is, actually, deep, deep down, you don't really believe it yourself either, do you? You just sort of have to believe it, because the alternative is breaking up with him, which you're obviously not ready to do yet.

diddl Fri 12-Jul-13 21:25:19

How did you even find out?

But they both sound like twats.

Sparklysilversequins Fri 12-Jul-13 21:12:01

Ok even if it's true <<rolls eyes>>, why on earth would he go away with him again? Or has he got him in a perpetual drugged up state that removes his free will and makes him agree to the unacceptable?

Letitsnow9 Fri 12-Jul-13 21:11:22

Did the girl decide that she would like to be looked in a room with a drunk man????

Cravey Fri 12-Jul-13 21:07:54

I think op your dh has been telling you fibs. Even if his drink was spiked and he was locked in a room nothing could make him have sex unless he wanted to. Stop blaming his brother and lay the blame at his feet where it should be.

gordyslovesheep Fri 12-Jul-13 20:51:51

Oh OP sad he cheated on you - his drink wasn't that spiked as to turn him and the girl into sexbots was it? He was drunk and had sex with someone and blamed his brother...

he feels so bad about it he's going away on another boys only trip with him ...

WhatWouldBeyonceDo Fri 12-Jul-13 20:51:46

Kick him into touch.

You have been well and truly played, I can't quite even believe that you believed him confused

You can do better, he's laughing at you, so is his drink spiking brother hmm

EllaFitzgerald Fri 12-Jul-13 20:49:13

I think he's given you a load of old flannel about why he was 'tricked' into cheating on you. However, even if there was a drug that took away his free will whilst leaving him with the ability to maintain an erection, why on earth would your OH want to risk the same thing happening again this year?

You can't tell someone what they can or can't do. He's your partner, not your possession. You can, however, decide what you're prepared to accept within your relationship and walk away if it's not right for you.

I think he knows he's safe to go away and do whatever he wants because his brother will take the blame and you'll believe that.

Oh you poor thing flowers

Let's be honest, if your DB has drugged you and locked you up. Why on earth would you go away with him again?!

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