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aibu to ask about dd poo.

(38 Posts)
sweetsummerlove Fri 12-Jul-13 16:05:37

dd is two..despite a very varied diet, is getting constipated reguarly. she'll not go but clearly need to for a day or two, then we spend around 2-3 hrs of horrific sobbing..wondering around not knowing what to do with herself, in agony trying to push a solid, horid smelling poo. Her bum is red raw and it will be half in half out for hours. She's spread across my lap practically reinacting birth right now...its sp horrible for do I stop this?

sweetsummerlove Fri 12-Jul-13 16:06:16

Sorry for tmi!

TheHandbagOfGlory Fri 12-Jul-13 16:10:23

Is she in nappies?

Pancakeflipper Fri 12-Jul-13 16:12:15

Oh the poor little thing.
You could try adding more high fibre foods.
My DS1 has a few dried apricots a day and that helps.

Or a probiotic ( not one of the yoghurt drinks). You can get them in a powder form that you can add to food/drink and they can help some balance their digestive system. My DS1 was on Movicol but since being on a probiotic he (touch wood) doesn't use it.

The Dr's can prescribe a lactulose syrup or you can get it from the chemist.

Damnautocorrect Fri 12-Jul-13 16:13:04

Doctors, my nephew split his bum with poos like this.

jammiedonut Fri 12-Jul-13 16:17:46

Oh the poor thing!it helps to smooth a small amount of Vaseline around the opening to help ease the stool out. If you can try to massage dd belly in a circular motion to help keep things moving and ensure she is drinking plenty of fluids. If her diet is varied and she's getting plenty of fruit and fibre I'd be speaking to hv or gp about your options as she's clearly on pain and there might be a little more to it. They can at least advise you on safe and gentle medications to use. Hope you get a solution soon.

riojabotherer Fri 12-Jul-13 17:41:40

Our toddler was bunged up like this for a long time - it was heartbreaking to see him in so much pain. If it's been painful for a while she may have taught herself not to go, which just makes the oroblem worse. Luckily we saw an excellent paediatrician who prescribed our son Movicol. That really helped ease things while I tried to work out the root of the problem. We started popping him on a potty every evening and the problem solved itself. I think he may have had a few big poos in his nappy that hurt, then became scared to go.

Hope this helps - the Movicol (a laxative) was a godsend for us.

ThePerfectFather Fri 12-Jul-13 19:17:10

We have a LOT of experience with this, since our DD was around the same age and had terrible problems with pooing. Tell me if any of this sounds familiar:

She seems extremely irritable, won't sit down, farts constantly, and will suddenly get very, very agitated (probably because she needs a poo but holds on for fear of the pain) and in general it's a massive issue for her. You're worried, understandably, and you're extremely focused on this issue.

Here is what we went through:

We tried our GP, who recommended something called Movicol and also Sennacot and Lactulose (sp?). Movicol makes them poop, but it softens the poop up hugely and basically they poo all the time. When they've been on Movicol a while get ready for just constant pooing all day. Sennacot is meant to make them regular, but in my opinion it does fuck all. Lactulose I didn't see have much effect either.

After a long time faffing around with this, and I am talking months, I found a few things myself. Orange juice, olives - those two things almost always guaranteed a poo that evening or even sooner. She wasn't happy about it in either case, but she did it. As you describe it, laying on her back, screaming, "delivering a baby" style pooing. It's horrible and heart breaking but she was then a pleasure to be around for the next few days.

Every time we went, we were effusive with our praise. "Oh well done! You did a poo! Fantastic!" and also went through the whole tearful begging/pleading/reasoning/reward chart experience.

I am not saying those things won't work, but here is what worked for us..

1. Stop making an issue of it. Literally IGNORE the fact she is not pooing. Obviously, you're still concerned and I know it's hard, but here is WHY you make no big issue of it. As long as you focus on this pooing thing, she is in control. One of the reasons she gets so angry is because she is in pain, but the other reason is that she is losing control. Rewarding her/praising her is bringing more attention to the fact that this is something SHE has control over. And her giving you a poo is still her decision. It's not, of course, it's something she has to do. It needs to be no big deal.

2. Nappies. This was the turning point for us. Once we got away from nappies, everything became so much easier. Imagine pooing in a nappy - it's horrible, right? Why would SHE want to do it? This can just be one of those things they go through before toilet training. It's kind of messed up to imagine as a child that suddenly you are aware of things COMING OUT OF YOUR BODY! And you have no control over that. No wonder they freak out.

3. This will end. Soon your child will be fine. No matter how badly ripped up her bum used to get, for some miraculous reason some Sudocrem and a cuddle fixed it well enough. She's absolutely good as gold now at 4, and takes herself off for a wee or a poo without any trouble at all.

I know this is tough, and it really doesn't seem to make any sense, but you need to be very clever about it.

DonchianTrend Fri 12-Jul-13 19:54:57

We've had this problem too, with DD1, who was so worried about pooing after having a sore poo that she would withhold for days until she pooed in her sleep (lovely), lactulose really helped, after a couple of doses and it just tastes sweet so it was easy to get her to take it. It only costs a couple of pounds from the chemist.

Or, if your DD likes fruit then strawberries, kiwis or prunes / prune juice should do the trick.

The other thing I've done with both my girls when they were struggling is pop them in a warm bath and get them to poo in there - cleaning up is not much fun but the warm water really seemed to help. I've only done it once with each DD but it worked like a charm!

TimeofChange Fri 12-Jul-13 20:08:17

Increase dramatically the amount of fluids she drinks.

Lots and lots of water, or if she doesn't like water give her watered down juice or squash, but not sugar free as the sweeteners are not good.

The increased fluids will soften the poos as not all fluids turn into urine - IYSWIM.

PastaBeeandCheese Fri 12-Jul-13 20:13:32

Prunes will really help. If she doesn't like them (who does?) Ella's Kitchen make a raisin and prune yoghurty smoothie thing. I always give one to DD when she's bunged up and it works really well.

Tweasels Fri 12-Jul-13 20:15:59

Disclaimer totally anecdotal non science related advice coming up.

Does she eat weetabix? Odd question I know and yes weetabix is full if fibre but my DD was always constipated and as soon as she went off weetabix it sorted itself.

Ipp3 Fri 12-Jul-13 20:16:25

You can also get children's suppositories which can help lubricate to make passage easier. You and your daughter really have my sympathy.

maja00 Fri 12-Jul-13 20:16:36

She's probably not drinking enough.

What advice did your HV/GP give?

Justforlaughs Fri 12-Jul-13 20:19:50

We had this with DS2, it was horrible watching him. Depending on how serious a problem it is there are various things you can try. Increase fluids, try fresh and dried fruit, strawberries, melon, raisins, dried apricots, plums are all good. We ended up going to the doctors who prescribed lactulose and eventually ended up using suppositories for a short time. None of which is very nice, but it did help. On the bright side he grew out of it fairly quickly.

Justforlaughs Fri 12-Jul-13 20:20:55

and I'd second the "weetabix" theory. They can really clog up childrens system.

Tobyturtle Fri 12-Jul-13 20:24:51

I would suggest maybe taking her to the doctors to see if she maybe has any dietary intolerances. I have coeliac disease (which is a gluten, wheat, rye & barley intolerance) and spent my childhood bunged up and trying to poo for hours. When I did manage to go it used to be so hard and it hurt so much. Just a thought but it might be worth just checking out, it's only a simple blood test!

Wingdingdong Fri 12-Jul-13 20:30:15

There is some advice available on and they also have a helpline.

I'd also say doctors, though. DD is 4 this month and still having major issues. We had a dietician appointment yesterday, and though she's a very fussy eater, they can't help us because she's actually getting a very good, balanced diet (if incredibly repetitive) - lots of raw veg and fruit, just nothing cooked or particularly varied. She had reflux for the first three years of her life and this is almost certainly linked. She even understands the importance of fresh fruit/veg, happily tots up her 5 a day on her chart, and will tell me she 'needs' banana because she has a hard poo stuck in her bottom and needs to make it soft so it doesn't hurt and make her bleed sad. But this isn't enough. For whatever reason, her body just can't handle digesting the food properly on its own and Movicol is now necessary. We're about to start it - she only stopped reflux meds a few months back, and it's only since then that we've had the constipation problems.

At the moment, banana and an innocent smoothie are the 'medication' but I suspect it's largely a placebo effect. We're desperately trying to get it sorted before she starts school in Sep, as she clearly can't spend all day on the loo trying to poo there, and unlike nursery I can't just ring up and say that she's going to be late because she's trying to do a poo...

MrsOakenshield Fri 12-Jul-13 20:37:53

lactulase is a poo softener, so it helps when they're doing a poo, but doesn't make them poo. It can be used fairly long term - we have a bottle lying about that we use if DD hasn't poo'd for a few days and complains of a sore tummy.

weetabix is bizarre, isn't it - claims to be high in fibre but bungs them up like nobody's business. Odd.

sweetsummerlove Fri 12-Jul-13 21:12:17

hi guys, thanks so much for the replies- im on my phone so apologies for inevitable typos etc. Will try not to drip feed.

It started properly a few months ago, maybe more. The first time it happened was a year ago. She hasn't pooed for two days (usually a twice a dayer) She stopped urinating and we raced to out of hours. She was prescribed movicol.

She then became constipated maybe once every 8 weeks, no more than two days usually. .but each time would result in her perching over the bath side or sofa taking up to an hour to push it out -oh and the smell. awful. Sometimes she is gassy but not always.

Its now once a week/10days. It's unbearable to watch. Icoach her tthrough it like my midwife did me..honestly i just don't get it. She eats so much greens, fruit, fish, meat, rice etc. Without outing myself its an area of academic interest.

I've noticed most recently she feels the need and becomes very ancy, instantly wandering around on tip toes with a total look of concern. Especially if she doesn't have a nappy on. This concerns me. . im not certain imo she is a little way away from potty training yet, but worry this refusing to go/panic over no nappy and general painful pooing may cause future issues.

Sometimes pear puree pouches do the trick but it feels as though its getting more frequent and is distressing for us both.

Tmi but there's yet to be blood which surprises me, but it obviously makes her very sore. :-(

maja00 Fri 12-Jul-13 21:16:17

Do you still have movicol to give her? How much does she drink?

BoysAreLikeDogs Fri 12-Jul-13 21:25:46

Yes I would be expecting to be on movicol long term. Months and months.

Yes to increasing fluid intake, pref water. Yes to avoiding weetabix. Banana too. Anecdotal ofc, no medical training.

Glycerine suppositories will soften stool from below, making it easier to pass.

Please ask for an urgent ref to a specialist. Scan may be needed to see how far backed up she is.

gordyslovesheep Fri 12-Jul-13 21:30:38

My eldest 2 where on Movicol for about 12 months - both struggled to go and did massive scary poo's - Movicol made then get into a pattern and loose the fear

sweetsummerlove Fri 12-Jul-13 21:33:37

im gathering I've not been explained the concept of movicol very well. I thought 1/2 a sachet would do the trick. .didnt realise it needed to be a consistent/regular thing.

she drinks plenty of fluid, no concerns there. no weetabix or nanas, she not keen on either. ..x

sweetsummerlove Fri 12-Jul-13 21:35:42

Should say I show no obvious concern over it..nothing shes picking up on etc. Im surprisingly calm about it, just upset at the obvious pain but have generally 'ignored' it...but have suddenly realised how long its been going on for iyswim. .

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