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To be FUMING. What do I do about this party situation

(99 Posts)
ParanoidAnnie Fri 12-Jul-13 14:48:38

Right, I'll try and keep it short. DD2 is 7 in August. We are having am early party tomorrow. 6 friends, small pool on garden, friends parents staying for a few drinks. All organised.

One of the girls she has invited was under duress. She has a birthday the day before DD and there has been some minor falling out with her in this group of friends. I explained to DD that it would be unfair to leave her out. She kind of agreed and reluctantly invited her.

I've just found out that the mum has organised a sleepover for her DDs birthday tomorrow night and left mine out! Even though she has agreed to come to our party during the day.

Fucking fuming is not the word. She has never done an early party. Copied us last year and got her invites out early for the same party on DDs actual birthday. So this year I done it early as DD missed out on her party last year.

I hate to be annoyed by parties as I know there is so much more going on in the world but I am so amazed by this. Speechless.

encyclogirl Fri 12-Jul-13 15:59:01


ParanoidAnnie indeed grin

fedupofnamechanging Fri 12-Jul-13 15:59:17

Phew! That is a much better outcome!

diddl Fri 12-Jul-13 15:59:45

All's well that ends well!

Hope all the girls enjoy both parties.

Unless other mum is a MNetter.hmm grin

Oops sorry. The site went funny on me.
Glad it's all sorted now Annie, I hate situations like that. smile

ParanoidAnnie Fri 12-Jul-13 16:03:20

I still feel mad about it even though its not happening grin. I suppose it will take me a while to calm down.

I did wonder how DD didn't know about it ...

I feel like a complete tit though ...

Beechview Fri 12-Jul-13 16:03:51

oh hooray! My faith in humanity is restored smile

hermioneweasley Fri 12-Jul-13 16:05:10

Glad that all ended well

<not really, was looking forward to som drama and you teaching "rude" mum some manners>

WhiteBirdBlueSky Fri 12-Jul-13 16:05:37

You were totally overreacting.

BreadNameBread Fri 12-Jul-13 16:10:07


I love a happy if somewhat boring outcome. I hope your DD has a lovely party.

pigletmania Fri 12-Jul-13 16:16:33

Phew that was close, I would not have done number 2, but wol have had th dd an mum round and just said that you hear tey are having a sleepover is it ok if dd comes tooas it would be a shame for dd to be the only one not going

orangepudding Fri 12-Jul-13 16:16:58

Glad it was a misunderstanding!

My DS had a small party with his close four friends. A couple of weeks later one of these friends sent invites out for his party but my DS and another girl they play with weren't invited ( although the rest of the class seemingly were). It's hurtful when your child seems purposefully excluded.

TidyDancer Fri 12-Jul-13 16:28:36

Haha. Best possible ending to this situation really!

Hope DD has a lovely time at both parties!

Onetwo34 Fri 12-Jul-13 16:33:25


ImTooHecsyForYourParty Fri 12-Jul-13 16:36:45

You berk.
I am very glad you were wrong.
Now let us just hope she's not one of us, eh?

ParanoidAnnie Fri 12-Jul-13 16:44:46

Yes. Totally overreacting. I'll have to work on that grin

LazyMonkeyButler Fri 12-Jul-13 16:46:40

Excellent! grin

CrapBag Fri 12-Jul-13 16:49:18

Oh dear. What a good job you didn't go and uninvited this girl.

A lesson there to not get quite so wound up about a bloody childs party.

CrapBag Fri 12-Jul-13 16:51:23

Just out of interest, how did you 'find out' in the first place and completely get it wrong? Not sure how the mix up happened.

Bet you are relieved you hadn't gone storming around!!! She would have thought you were an utter loon. grin

Your user name seems pretty apt.

SarahAndFuck Fri 12-Jul-13 16:52:56

grin Well that's good news.

I was going to say I suspected the other mum was using your DD's party as a 'stealth party' for her own DD. You put in all the work and expense so the children get a party, then she gets to just take the others home and gets to bung on a DVD and only pays for popcorn. Which would have been really cheeky of her.

Glad it's all worked out okay. Does your DD want to go to the sleepover though?

ParanoidAnnie Fri 12-Jul-13 17:02:24

Crapbag. I chose my username for a reason. I'm working on it grin

Hard to explain and don't want to go into too much detail, but text from friend to say she had a BBQ tomorrow night and couldn't go to the sleepover. Any normal person would assume that meant it was tomorrow, no? Text conversation ensued about who was going etc....

Alas, she couldn't go to sleepover as she has other plans next week as well. As there was no full stop in the text it read as if it was due to the BBQ tomorrow. Hope that makes sense.

MrsBungle Fri 12-Jul-13 17:04:14

grin Glad you hadn't replied! Always best to be absolutely sure of these things!

UniqueAndAmazing Fri 12-Jul-13 17:10:23

Soooooooooooooooooooooooo glad you didn't ring the mum!

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 12-Jul-13 17:19:57

how funny, thank god out and out foolishness was avoided by a whisker

CHJR Fri 12-Jul-13 18:39:23

I think your main job here is managing your DD's feelings. Suggest frankness with her: that you think the other mother is wrong, but just because someone else is being badly behaved is no reason for her to do same, she should feel proud of herself and take the high moral ground. (Not easy at 7!) Also, since you know the other mothers, consider calling them and asking them to coach all their DDs not to talk about this sleepover at your DD's party! (Risky though. What if there is ONE OTHER not invited and she learns of this sleepover from you?) A third option: without actually rescinding your invitation, call this other mother and point out to her that she's put you in a difficult position, and sweetly ask her if she can make sure HER DD definitely doesn't discuss her party at yours.

To be fair, a sleepover party is a much bigger commitment than a day party, and calls for more restricted number of guests. (I wouldn't have a sleepover party at 7yo anyway.) The other mother sounds like a PITA. I wouldn't hold it against her DD, who's going to be the real loser in the long run if her mother is as difficult as this makes her sound.

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