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To be FUMING. What do I do about this party situation

(99 Posts)
ParanoidAnnie Fri 12-Jul-13 14:48:38

Right, I'll try and keep it short. DD2 is 7 in August. We are having am early party tomorrow. 6 friends, small pool on garden, friends parents staying for a few drinks. All organised.

One of the girls she has invited was under duress. She has a birthday the day before DD and there has been some minor falling out with her in this group of friends. I explained to DD that it would be unfair to leave her out. She kind of agreed and reluctantly invited her.

I've just found out that the mum has organised a sleepover for her DDs birthday tomorrow night and left mine out! Even though she has agreed to come to our party during the day.

Fucking fuming is not the word. She has never done an early party. Copied us last year and got her invites out early for the same party on DDs actual birthday. So this year I done it early as DD missed out on her party last year.

I hate to be annoyed by parties as I know there is so much more going on in the world but I am so amazed by this. Speechless.

stayathomegardener Fri 12-Jul-13 15:11:58

If DD was very close to a couple of girls going to both party's and I knew the mums I think I would ask if they could stay over as DD would feel really left out when everyone left.
Possibly passive aggressive but think I would be miffed enough to do it.

FunnysInLaJardin Fri 12-Jul-13 15:12:11

OP it's entirely up to you but if your DD isn't bothered then honestly let it go

ilovechips Fri 12-Jul-13 15:14:26

I would go with stayathomegardener's suggestion...

Scholes34 Fri 12-Jul-13 15:14:42

Just get the other mother pissed on the drinks at your party, and it will serve her right when she has a houseful of 7 year olds who won't go to sleep.

ParanoidAnnie Fri 12-Jul-13 15:16:08

How can she do this though? How can she accept the invitation then organise a party for the same day then exclude DD??

What planet is anyone on that thinks this is acceptable behaviour for an adult.

I invited her child as she is genuinely being excluded from the group of friends. She is a bit bossy etc and DD and her best friend don't really like her. I've had this happen to my older DD and I couldn't bear to see it happen to another child. sad

Wishfulmakeupping Fri 12-Jul-13 15:19:28

I think you're right to uninvite OP they are the rude ones not you!

TidyDancer Fri 12-Jul-13 15:19:58

I would like to think I'd be the bigger person here, but honestly I'd want to react like you and take the invite back. Especially as your DD didn't want the child at the party anyway.

Some people are utter shits.

BreadNameBread Fri 12-Jul-13 15:26:10

This is the last week of school so it's a good weekend for parties and sleepovers so I don't think there is necesscerily anything sinister about the other Mum having a party and sleep over this weekend. Unless all the girls are going to the sleep over I don't see how the OP's DD is being left out.
I don't see it as a problem at all. confused. Obviously, it is not nice if the girls invited to the sleep over go on about it at the party but the OP could deal with it if it happens.
The two girls don't even like each other that much. It would have been odd of the other girl to invite her for a sleep over.

...However, If all the other girls are invited to the sleepover except the OPs DD then I would be fuming if I was the OP angry

Dramamama Fri 12-Jul-13 15:27:22

I'd be fuming too! I have a similar problem with ds his best friends birthday is 2 days before his but thankfully myself and the besties mum get on and we usually either do a joint party or work round each other.
I would make sure the 'pass the parcel' parcel didn't land on her just for my own satisfaction grin

diddl Fri 12-Jul-13 15:33:41

Maybe the mum wanted to come for drinks at yours??

TalkativeJim Fri 12-Jul-13 15:34:06

Is the CuntMum dropping her DD off?

Invite her in for a drink and make sure it's a laxative one.

Thus affording her an evening when you really, really don't want to be hosting a sleepover smile

(disclaimer: one should NEVER do this on account of CuntMum's potential for life-threatening laxative allergies, this post is IN JEST of COURSE).

ParanoidAnnie Fri 12-Jul-13 15:35:17

All the other children plus others are going.

This was going to be the last year I invited this girl. I know they don't play together much any longer. I just wanted to be nice and not leave her out.

I'm not a big party person tbh. I don't like them and do them for DDs sake. This was to be the last one.

I don't think I will uninvite the child but I will tell the mother what I think and tell her she isn't welcome to stay for drinks as it will create an atmosphere and ruin DDs day

If the mum comes to yours for drinks the sleepover is going to be mentioned.....and she will be squirming!!!

ParanoidAnnie Fri 12-Jul-13 15:36:45

She's invited for drinks! She accepted

ParanoidAnnie Fri 12-Jul-13 15:38:27

TalkativeJim ... I have a lot of laxatives in the house ....sounds like a plan!

encyclogirl Fri 12-Jul-13 15:40:07

Is there any possible way the invite to your dd has been mislaid? Surely she can't be planning to rock up to your house for drinks then gather all the children bar your dd and head of for a sleepover?

Who in the world has that level of gall?

MrsBungle Fri 12-Jul-13 15:40:31

I would definitely invite her in and say "so everyone is going to yours after here then? Well, everyone except DD that is?"

Let her squirm through her reply.

helenthemadex Fri 12-Jul-13 15:40:40

can you speak to her before the party, I would ring her up and say how upset you are.

Its not nice at all and I do think the girls will be talking about the sleepover at your dd party

ilovechips Fri 12-Jul-13 15:40:48

That's really pants that all the others are going to the sleepover. I would definitely speak to the other mum about it, it's really spiteful behaviour, hopefully she will be squirming with shame.

encyclogirl Fri 12-Jul-13 15:45:27

In fact if there's too much sleepover chit chat it could completely overshadow your dds party now that I think about it.

You need to talk to that mother.

Fill 'em all up with tons of sugar and E numbers then pack 'em off to the other kid's house - job done! :-D

ParanoidAnnie Fri 12-Jul-13 15:54:38


I have to apologise. I'm so shamed.

I completely got the wrong end of the stick. blushblushblush

Sleepover is next week and DD has been invited. blushblush She had just rocked home with the invite in her bag.

Glad that someone couldn't be that rude.

More glad I hadn't driven round to other Mums house with threats of violence which I was inclined to do at one point.

DH says I'm a knob.

Teach me to communicate by text.

CaptainSweatPants Fri 12-Jul-13 15:56:03

Would your dd really want to go to a sleepover after her party?

She'll Want to open & enjoy her presents

She'll be hyped up from the party & Wont sleep on a sleepover

I think you've had a lucky escape tbh

CaptainSweatPants Fri 12-Jul-13 15:56:58

Ha ha grin

Unless other mum is a MNetter.hmm grin

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