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AIBU?

Am I being soft or is boyfriend being unreasonable? (Cleaner related)

33 replies

Hercy · 11/07/2013 10:56

We have a cleaner who comes once a fortnight and does 2 -2.5 hours for £25. She's a very nice lady, but for various reasons, we've decided we no longer want her.

She's an ok cleaner, but her English isn't very good, which causes practical problems. Particularly as we have a Labrador which she seems terrified of, so it becomes difficult trying to keep him out the way - we can't even communicate enough to say 'can you clean the bathrooms first then I'll take him for a walk and get out your way'. As well as various other communication problems.

Now the crux of the matter,I feel awful depriving her of income, and want to give her £100 as a 'severance' payment. In effect this is 6 weeks notice in hand. My boyfriend wants to give her £50 so effectively 2 weeks notice in hand. Or do you think it would be better to give her x weeks notice and she still comes and cleans (and is obviously paid) for those weeks with no extra 'payout'. I know that she has recently lost clients in our road who moved away, so want to make sure we don't leave her in the lurch too much.

First world problems eh.

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gnittinggnome · 11/07/2013 11:21

I'm going to sound harsh here, but I'm with your boyfriend. It's not your responsibility to make sure she has enough money.

I would give her 50 quid, which will cover her for a month, which should be enough time for her to find something else to cover the hours. Maybe also a week's notice, so she has some time to think about what she wants to do. This will stop you feeling guilty, and give her a little breathing space.

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mrsravelstein · 11/07/2013 11:23

unless she has cleaned for you for a really long time, like years, i think you'd be incredibly generous to do anything more than saying "after next week, we won't need you anymore", ie one week's notice.

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QuintessentialOldDear · 11/07/2013 11:27

She lives in Britain, she has not taken steps to learn the language sufficiently to do her job satisfactory. It is not your duty to ensure she has enough cash. One weeks notice should suffice.

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maja00 · 11/07/2013 11:32

If you can afford the £100 then give it to her.

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HatieKopkins · 11/07/2013 11:50

I'm with your boyfriend here.

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PatsyAndEddy · 11/07/2013 11:52

What does your contract with her state?

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maja00 · 11/07/2013 11:53

Unlikely to have a written contract with a self-employed cleaner ime.

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PatsyAndEddy · 11/07/2013 11:55

No reason why not unless it's a casual cash in hand not through the books set up in which case neither of you have any obligtion to each other for anything.

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maja00 · 11/07/2013 11:56

I've never had written contracts with cleaners, hairdressers, babysitters, handymen. I don't know about their tax affairs, but it is their business not mine.

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dreamingbohemian · 11/07/2013 11:58

I think if you can afford £100 you should give it to her. Obviously you don't have to but it's a really nice thing to do.

Or compromise with your DP and say £75.

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Emsmaman · 11/07/2013 12:02

I would give a notice period and continue having her clean until the final date. Our contract through an agency requires 2 months' notice but I would think 1 month is perfectly fair. Wouldn't make a severance payment though.

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Hercy · 11/07/2013 12:18

There's no contract and not through an agency. She's cleaned for us for about 3 years.

I understand that we don't have to even give her notice, but I wanted to do right by her, even though we're letting her go.

Maybe £75 would be the best compromise.

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Snazzyenjoyingsummer · 11/07/2013 12:22

Agree that compromising on £75 seems best. 1 month's notice is standard for many jobs so even if you're not obliged, I think you ought to feel OK about that. Also agree with *emsmaman about getting her to clean for the final notice period. That's what would happen if giving notice in lots of other jobs, too.

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badfaketan · 11/07/2013 12:29

You're extremely generous.
I'm afraid I just gave my cleaner 2 weeks notice.
She had another job though which is why she often cancelled coming to me.

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whois · 11/07/2013 12:36

Cleaner isn't employed by you, don't have to give any notice or severance payment.

If you want to, £50 and as much notice as possible that you won't need her after date x seems v reasonable.

She sounds a bit shit tho.

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DaemonPantalaemon · 11/07/2013 13:11

She lives in Britain, she has not taken steps to learn the language sufficiently to do her job satisfactory. It is not your duty to ensure she has enough cash. One weeks notice should suffice

Do you mean to say "to do her job satisfactorily"? And you left out the apostrophe in the last sentence. It is one week's notice.

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southbank · 11/07/2013 13:31

Daemon-sorry who appointed you the grammar police?!
How rude to come on to a thread and pull someone up on how they have spelt a word or where the bleedin apostrophe is.
Sometimes autocorrect inserts the wrong word,sometimes when typing on a phone grammar isn't always correct.
Any advice for the op?

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doingthesplitz · 11/07/2013 14:08

Christ Daemon, could you be any more obnoxious?

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kukeslala · 11/07/2013 14:11

Southbank
I assumed it to be deliberately making a point, considering the content of the post it is correcting. Those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones type of comment.

Daemon
I usually detest when people do that, however if I am right in assuming why, well done for the clever way of pointing that out.

Quintessential
At the point you post, the OP has not said how long she's been here, do you know the cleaner and know she has not bothered to try and learn English...

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EvieanneVolvic · 11/07/2013 14:15

Actually I don't think daemon was being nearly as harsh as the post she was commenting on. How does Quint know what steps the cleaner has taken to learn the language...she could just be finding it incredibly difficult?

In fact I think the OP's concern does her credit, but three years is really quite a long time and the cleaner's dismissal may well come as a shock to her. And she is there to clean not deliver a Reith lecture!

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EvieanneVolvic · 11/07/2013 14:16

Good on ya kukeslala (wtf does the name mean???)

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VitoCorleone · 11/07/2013 14:25

Im a self employed cleaner and wouldnt expect anything except the payments owed. Although i would be touched if somebody gave me extra when letting me go, as a sort of goodwill gesture

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RoxyFox211 · 11/07/2013 14:28

Yanbu. If its what you want to do & can afford it, do it!

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Hercy · 11/07/2013 14:48

That's settled then! It may not be necessary, but hopefully she'll see as a thank you for her work to date and soften the blow of losing future income/give her more time to find new clients.

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themaltesecat · 11/07/2013 15:40

Bravo, Daemon! It made me smirk to see someone slagging off Cleaner X's English, whilst having such a pitiful grasp of the basics himself or herself.

OP, if you have the cash, giving a hundred pounds would be a kind gesture. In these circumstances, it is what I would offer, too.

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