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to want to push this performance parent off the train?

(122 Posts)
K8Middleton Tue 09-Jul-13 13:39:42

I'm on the London to Brighton train. There is a man with a four year old boy loudly performance parenting. The kid wants to just look out the window but every time he just sits quietly performance dad starts with Tim [not his real name], can you see the children? Tim, let's count to 40! Tiiiiiiim, where is the window? Is it on the left or right? Tiiiiiiiiim, when you go to school what month with it be?

AIBU to shove him out the window?

ginslinger Tue 09-Jul-13 14:58:14

grin i wonder how many people will come along now to tell you how mean you're being!

K8Middleton Tue 09-Jul-13 15:16:40

Yea sadly I am married to said Performance Parent. I may ltb but we'll see if he redeems himself at the seaside.

LaGuardia Tue 09-Jul-13 15:18:08

At no point has the OP stated that the child of the PP has autism. Why oh why do MN threads always descend into a SEN bunfight?

K8Middleton Tue 09-Jul-13 15:20:26

Dh has no sen either btw. He is just a bit enthusiastic.

theodorakisses Tue 09-Jul-13 15:21:31

YANBU. Do it, husband or not.

Emilythornesbff Tue 09-Jul-13 15:21:32

Wtf is "performance parenting" and why do so many ppl give a shit about being able to overhear a person talking to their child?
Chill out

theodorakisses Tue 09-Jul-13 15:22:34

Emily, they are not talking to their child, they are talking to the rest of the train.

humdumaggapang Tue 09-Jul-13 15:23:15

Better a PP than a disinterested fuckwit.

towerofjelly Tue 09-Jul-13 15:26:33

Bless him but yes married to him or not push him off ( maybe wait until the trains slows a tad he is family after all)

stealthsquiggle Tue 09-Jul-13 15:26:51

Well you can't shove him out of the window now, or sleeping infant will go too.

Is "Tim" breathing a sigh of relief?

Fluffycloudland77 Tue 09-Jul-13 15:27:06

Love it.

KirjavaTheCat Tue 09-Jul-13 15:27:07

Yanbu! Show him this thread, so he gets an idea of what the world really thinks about performance parenting grin

OR start being a performance wife.

Darling, when is our anniversary? That's right, aren't you clever?! It's the 23rd, that's correct darling! Darling what do we do when we visit the toilet, that's right, we lift the lid, don't we darling? It's polite to lift the lid isn't it darling.

Emilythornesbff Tue 09-Jul-13 15:28:11

Don't care.
Good for him.
Most ppl are different with kids than with adults.

Or should he just be reading the times and sharing the crossword with him?

Emilythornesbff Tue 09-Jul-13 15:29:55

Oh I see.
[slaps own forehead]

I think lots off ppl are like that.
Don't feel embarrassed. It wouldn't bother me.

exoticfruits Tue 09-Jul-13 15:33:48

I never understand why people can't tell the difference between engaging your child in conversation and performance parenting.

I would like to know from OP whether Tim responded to any of it?

SingingSilver Tue 09-Jul-13 15:59:31

Ha! Good one! grin

YouTheCat Tue 09-Jul-13 16:06:43

Excellent OP.

Glad you got the silly sod to shush and 'Tim' got some peace to look out of the window. grin

Wildfig Tue 09-Jul-13 17:39:35

Where is your recorder? Now would be a good moment for a little light Greensleeves.

BratinghamPalace Tue 09-Jul-13 17:47:44

I saw a woman do that once, non stop chatter to the child. Drove me mad, everyone else mad and so on. A few months later, much to my dread there she was at a party. Turns out she had adopted the little girl from Eastern Europe. The child had no linguistic skills and the docs did not know if there was permanent damage due to diet, emotionally restricted first 18 months ect. So she was told to chat non stop, engage her non stop ect. She did and the little girl is a fab 6 years old who talks up a storm!

JollyShortGiant Tue 09-Jul-13 17:55:40

Hahahhaha! Genius OP!

ThreeBeeOneGee Tue 09-Jul-13 17:57:57

Please do what Kirjava suggested! smile

K8Middleton Tue 09-Jul-13 18:40:26

We are now on the way back. Dh/PP started with the "Tiiiiiiiiim" stuff, then checked himself, realised Tim was sitting nicely and quietly and said "Actually, he's fine isn't he?".

Phew. I was beginning to think I may never be able to go out en famille again.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 09-Jul-13 18:44:17

Let the poor little bleeder look out the window in peace

If he then initiates a conversation, respond accordingly.

BeaLola Tue 09-Jul-13 18:57:07

I had a PP at a wedding the other week that I went to on my own (DH at another family thing with DS) .

PP to child: How many dinosaurs can we count Ben?
Ben: no answer, then "12"
PP: tell the nice lady (apparently that was me !) how many dinosaurs you can count .
Ben: 12
PP: tell the nice lady the names of the dinosaurs
Ben: went through list from TRex onwards - I'm slightly ashamed to say I wasn't really listening a 100% so no idea if he made it to 12 types
PP to nice lady: isn't he clever ? before I can even utter "umm" he then says "Ben why don't you tell the nice lady all the French words you know .

Nice Lady: Ben do you know the word for wine ? Can you pass that lovely bottle now please, Merci !

Emilythornesbff Tue 09-Jul-13 19:50:43

Ok. I concede that getting dc to perform at any and every opportunity isn't great.
And it's nice to look out the window in peace.

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