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to feel a bit upset that my daughter was made to look like she was being unreasonable??

(107 Posts)
mimitwo Mon 08-Jul-13 18:36:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JumpingJackSprat Mon 08-Jul-13 18:41:04

Definitely not being unreasonable. think that boy needs to learn some social boundaries!

Scrubber Mon 08-Jul-13 18:42:20

No, the boy should have been properly told off so as not to do it again.

Mother being stupid. Personally I'd contact the school.

Squitten Mon 08-Jul-13 18:43:34

No! If my sons ever did that to a little girl I'd go ballistic!

Binkyridesagain Mon 08-Jul-13 18:43:45

Yanbu I would be talking to the teacher to make them aware that this is going on.

KansasCityOctopus Mon 08-Jul-13 18:44:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ReginaPhilangie Mon 08-Jul-13 18:45:28

Definitely not a rite of passage! My opinion will not be a popular one, but in all honesty I would encourage her to go to school tomorrow, pull his pants down and do the same to him. Guarantee he won't do it again. How old are they btw? Depending on age I'd be concerned about him doing to this to girls and somehow thinking it's okay.

cory Mon 08-Jul-13 18:45:50

I'd have a gentle word with the teacher/Head about what happened, so that she can then have a stern word in assembly and knock this rite de passage idea on its head.

phantomnamechanger Mon 08-Jul-13 18:47:26

not acceptable - unless the mum is also Ok with your DD pulling her DSs trousers down and laughing at his pants - which I very much doubt, then this is NOT "just a game" - it is bullying behaviour.

School/nursery need to know about this, not least because they need to keep an eye on any children showing inappropriate sexual/personal space behaviours

how old are they by the way?

mimitwo Mon 08-Jul-13 18:49:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Plomino Mon 08-Jul-13 18:50:11

Absolutely not . How dare he make your DD feel that way. Why should she just 'take it ' ? I'm no overprotective parent by any stretch of the imagination, but it'd be straight up the school in the morning. If this is going on at school , then it's not appropriate and they ought to be doing something about it . How can they teach children how to be safe and protect their bodies , if they then condone having your clothing intefered with and their underwear mocked . No no no .

Eyesunderarock Mon 08-Jul-13 18:52:24

It's not a rite of passage in any primary school that I've taught in, any more than having your head flushed down the toilet or your arm twisted up behind your back.
I wouldn't bother engaging with the mother, but I would definitely talk to the teacher and if that wasn't enough, I'd email the head. It would involve group/class discussion and a mention without names in assembly about what games are appropriate and how people have the right to play without being distressed by others. No blame and shame, education.
Regina's response is not good and will cause a lot more trouble than it is worth without solving the problem.
Even if the boy is 4, he needs to learn boundaries and his mother is obviously bugger all use. The school is your best bet.

Eyesunderarock Mon 08-Jul-13 18:52:58

Absolutely not OK.

Scruffey Mon 08-Jul-13 18:53:33

No it's not a rite of passage. My 7yo ds would not do this to a girl because we have spoken about it. I would be very embarrassed if he did.

Scruffey Mon 08-Jul-13 18:54:09

And yes I would tell the teacher definitely

phantomnamechanger Mon 08-Jul-13 18:56:20

Y2 is old enough to know better

pudcat Mon 08-Jul-13 19:00:03

Please tell the teacher tomorrow. This is inappropriate behaviour even for young children. If the culprits saw that your DD was upset and did not stop it is bullying as well.

onedev Mon 08-Jul-13 19:01:35

Definitely old enough to know better - I'd go into the school. If that were one of my boys, they'd have gotten a serious talking to - that other mums reaction was unacceptable.

GoldenGytha Mon 08-Jul-13 19:01:54

It is most definitely not a rite of passage, and your DD does not have to accept this.

I have 2 DDs and 1 DS and I'd be furious if either DDs had had it done to them, or DS had done it to any girl.

I'd be having a word with the teacher, and she can have a chat in class about this not being acceptable. The boy should also be made to apologise, not in a public humiliation way, but in private.

mimitwo Mon 08-Jul-13 19:01:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Harryhairypig Mon 08-Jul-13 19:02:14

She is not unreasonable at all and it needs reporting to school and they should deal with it. It's inappropriate boundaries. My ds had his trousers and pants pulled down in the playground and school kept the child that did it in until the end of term when he luckily left.

fengirl1 Mon 08-Jul-13 19:03:41

'Rite of passage' is a load of bullshit. I have never heard of this - but I have heard of boys doing this to girls (funny that its never the other way around) and getting into huge trouble for it, and rightly so.

themaltesecat Mon 08-Jul-13 19:04:34

That mother is a fucking weirdo.

5inabed Mon 08-Jul-13 19:07:09

I would be fuming if someone did this to my daughters. I just asked my 7 year old dd if this happens in her school and she was scandalised and said no.

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