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To expect my ex partner to stop playing games....

(13 Posts)
Emyloukids29 Fri 05-Jul-13 21:33:36

So been split up a year, I left him for my personal reasons. We were ok in the beginning, but then he got with a new girlfriend. Since he has moved in with her but it is the fact that some things are just annoying.

First of all he is a good dad as far as the fact that he sees them everyday, although I didn't push that onto him. The kids wanted to see him and same with him. However certain things to me are plain silly.

First thing is, he has lied to me and others over the period of time about certaun things, he lied about money. He lied that I wanted him back and I got messages then from his new girlfriend. He lied to me in the beginning that my children hadn't stopped at her house. Making my children lie to me.

But more recently he has been refusing to feed them if they are with him and they are hungry. I give them dinner every night, but fridays he has them to stop. He says he shouldn't have to feed them because he pays csa.

But I am annoyed because like alot of kids, if they eat at half 4 they are going to be hungry later on, and if they are not with me how can I feed them? They can't even have a biscuit because his new gf has a little girl and apparently if she is in bed then it wouldnt' be fair as she would be missing out.

Also one more thing is I normally send them with clothes for saturday to return home in, but tonight my ds ran out and said it will be ok mom, daddy has clothes. Next minute she was in here saying no we have to take some. Not a problem but I just come back from taking them away so had washing up to my eyeballs.

I asked him why they cant wear the clothes he has for them and he said he didnt want them wearing them back to mine. Like I am going to run away with their clothes.

Now AIBU to just want him to stop being so childish for the sake of the children?

CSIJanner Fri 05-Jul-13 21:37:00

The one thing that stood out for me there is that he refuses to feed then because he pays CSA - that has to stop. The clothes etc is petty but not feeding your children is pure abuse. Can you get a solicitor on the case?

Jengnr Fri 05-Jul-13 21:38:17

He refuses to feed them.

He isn't looking after them properly.

That means they don't go.

Emyloukids29 Fri 05-Jul-13 21:39:47

I went to see a solicitor and she gave him guildlines, he also has to do homework with them if he wants them after school. But my dd is too scared to ask him. I have sent them with bags of food before because I am worried they wont eat.
I gave my ds a doughnut to take and he panicked and said mommy I cant take that as it is not fair to the other child that belongs to my ex's new partner.

Emyloukids29 Fri 05-Jul-13 21:41:04

I did text today and said if he cant feed them then he wont be able to have them over night

FlightsOfWhimsy Fri 05-Jul-13 21:41:47

Wow. I'm not surprised you're bothered about this. He sounds like an arse, but what a shame for your children.

He should feed them. Not wanting to take a donut would worry me.

Emyloukids29 Fri 05-Jul-13 21:43:21

He has turned into an arse, my dd is a daddys girl which is half the reason I was so flexible but I am on my own and do everything. I dont mind but I cannot take the silly games.

It is not me he is hurting it is them!

CSIJanner Fri 05-Jul-13 21:43:54

Actually, shove the solicitor. I would report to SS so they can spring a surprise visit when the children are there and hungry but that might be taking it too far. Stop access until he starts looking after them properly. Poor kids must be too scared to even ask now. Evil bastard using his own kids basic needs to make a point.

Tabliope Fri 05-Jul-13 21:44:47

He's completely out of order. It makes my blood boil that he thinks because he pays CSA he doesn't have to feed them! CSA never covers half the cost of a child. The mum - and it usually is the mum - has to cover the shortfall every time. He's an arse. The clothes he buys and the clothes you buy are the kids' clothes. What does he expect you to do - hand them over naked so that the clothes you've bought don't go to his house and vice versa?! Tight arse man.

ProperStumped Fri 05-Jul-13 21:45:49

He's a prick.

Tell him. If he doesn't feed them regularly and properly, he doesn't see them. He's being completely irresponsible.

MammaTJ Fri 05-Jul-13 21:46:09

SS is a good plan!!

Emyloukids29 Fri 05-Jul-13 21:46:49

I have had enough now, I was really ill last yr and in hospital, when I came out before csa started I remember having to give him the money to take them to the cinema and macdonalds , because I was too ill to take them.

I say all the time about the food situation, but he says they dont like anything I have. He doesnt even try!

Emyloukids29 Fri 05-Jul-13 21:50:06

Thanks all, I did wonder if it was just me. I didnt even want to go to csa but he stopped paying me, but it isn't alot really for 2 kids. He forgets all the things I need to buy for them.

I said about the clothes , that is was silly. He sent them home once on a sunday in the uniform they went to him with on the friday straight from school. I just thought I dont get him.

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