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To think that I am just pathetic

(82 Posts)
suchawimp Wed 03-Jul-13 20:12:47

and it isn't normal to be like this at 26.

I did something wrong at work and have to tell my manager tomorrow. I feel sick and am shaking and going hot and cold - I just can't seem to deal with stuff like this. It just makes me feel small and useless.

I don't know what she will say but it won't be nice. I hate being told off and really hate confrontation and raised voices. I don't know why and it is pathetic I know.

Is there a way to toughen up and get over this sort of thing?

OwlinaTree Wed 03-Jul-13 20:15:40

Everyone feels bad when this happens. I did something wrong a while ago and felt the same, dreaded admitting it. You will be doing the right thing to own up. If possible, try to think of how you are going to rectify the error, so you can tell the manager your solution too.

Good luck, i hope it goes well.

Mouthfulofquiz Wed 03-Jul-13 20:28:43

It will be fine. Honestly, everyone makes mistakes and there is very little that can't be sorted out. Good luck and hugs :-)

LuisSuarezTeeth Wed 03-Jul-13 20:30:35

What did you do? If it helps, being honest does endear you to the person affected.

Crumbledwalnuts Wed 03-Jul-13 20:31:19

Do you have to come clean? Apologise and explain as little as possible. Be tough, be hard. Have you seen how many mistakes people earning wads and wads of money make, and they just get promoted or move on to better jobs? It's because they never apologise or explain. They just brush it off, pass it off or ignore it. Is this possible for you?

LuisSuarezTeeth Wed 03-Jul-13 20:31:36

Owl ins is right - I have done X so I propose Y to fix it

ThreeEyedRaven Wed 03-Jul-13 20:32:05

I'm quite hard in RL but stuff like this makes me feel exactly how you've described it. It's a horrible feeling and the only way you will feel better is to talk it thru with your boss. In my experience it is rarely as bad as you think it will be.

I know its hard but we really all do make mistakes and its all too easy to let your imagination run away with you.

Try and do something to take your mind off it. I promise this will pass x

LuisSuarezTeeth Wed 03-Jul-13 20:32:09

Sorry, owlina

Fakebook Wed 03-Jul-13 20:33:24

There shouldn't be a need for raised voices and confrontation. Everyone makes mistakes. Is your boss a bully?

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Wed 03-Jul-13 20:37:03

Bad luck OP but better to get it off your chest, own up and you'll probably never make that mistake again, will you. Chin up, everyone makes mistakes.

ilovesooty Wed 03-Jul-13 20:40:55

You aren't pathetic. I'm a lot older than you and I'd feel exactly the same.

suchawimp Wed 03-Jul-13 21:01:33

I just can't seem to be rational - I am actually scared. I keep playing what I have to do over and over in my head. sad My stomach is churning and I can't think about anything else. Can't even concentrate on reading a magazine and just sat though a 30 minute tv show and don't think I heard a word of it.

EarlyInTheMorning Wed 03-Jul-13 21:04:01

Focus on the way forward, what you're planning to do to make sure it never happens again, lessons learned and all that

FayKnights Wed 03-Jul-13 21:06:45

I totally sympathise and have been in your position and honestly how bad you imagine it to be it won't be as bad in real life I promise. Make sure once you fess up you have a resolution to the issue.

scripsi Wed 03-Jul-13 21:08:16

I agree on focusing on fixing it. Also try to plan yourself a treat for tomorrow evening so that you can reward yourself for getting through the experience?
I am another one who is a lot older than you and would also feel dreadful: a lot of us hold ourselves to very high standards and can't handle it when we "fall short".

wharrgarbl Wed 03-Jul-13 21:09:10

Would the ten-year rule help? (Will this matter in ten years?) It's one my sister taught me about things children do, or don't do.

Xmasbaby11 Wed 03-Jul-13 21:09:55

It's normal to dread that - I'd be the same! It will be a great relief to get it over with. Good luck!

Snoopingforsoup Wed 03-Jul-13 21:10:44

Most of us have been there and felt that way. I've worked for some horrors.
Be as professional as you can and once this is over, try some sort of assertiveness training which will help you deal with workplace confrontation in the future.
The symptoms are classic anxiety and they will subside once you've dealt with the situation.
The thought is often worse than the reality.
Good luck

MammaTJ Wed 03-Jul-13 21:12:20

She will be more glad you have owned p to your mistake than mad you made it in the first place.

FayKnights Wed 03-Jul-13 21:12:50

What did you do? Would you care to share and we can all make you feel better with our own stories?

NapaCab Wed 03-Jul-13 21:13:27

Sounds like you are in a negative atmosphere at work. Any normal situation wouldn't cause you to get this wound up.

Is your boss bullying you? Don't underestimate how insidious this kind of thing can be. You might not even realize it's happening unless you sit down and think about it. Does s/he devalue your work a lot, criticize you, ostracize you?

Don't necessarily blame yourself: you might just be working in a hostile environment.

Hassled Wed 03-Jul-13 21:14:38

I absolutely understand - went through something very similar a couple of weeks ago and was just beside myself. But the one advantage of having that level of dread and fear is that the reality is never as bad as your imagination has convinced you it will be - apologise straight away, take responsibility and that usually deflates the anger. Good luck.

wharrgarbl Wed 03-Jul-13 21:15:04

Another technique to get out of the endless worry and obsession cycle (so familiar to me!) is to write it all down - write down what you're feeling, what you think might happen - but try to envisage as many outcomes as you can, from mild to diabolical. Get it all out of your system, if you can.

HollaAtMeBaby Wed 03-Jul-13 21:15:20

Can you draft an email confession to get it all out of your head? Probably better to tell her face to face but maybe writing it down would make you feel calmer, and it could also help to get your thoughts in order so that you don't get in a flap tomorrow.

I also want to know what you did. I bet I've done worse grin

HollaAtMeBaby Wed 03-Jul-13 21:15:57

ooh, x-post wharrgarbl smile

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