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"Your kids are being annoying" AIBU. What is wrong with some people?

(106 Posts)
TacticalWheelbarrow Wed 03-Jul-13 17:23:18

Yesterday DH and I went to a hospital appointment for myself, we got out of there early and decided to go for dinner. It's been a long time since we have had the chance to eat out because we have been skint and had the kids with us, so we were fairly looking forward to it.

We go to the restaurant and were seated in a booth behind a family with 2 kids ages about 3&6.
We soon realised that this wasn't going to be a quiet meal. I was sitting with my back to the family and the 3yo stood up on their booth bench to peer over at us which we found a bit awkward and irritating because we were trying to eat and have a private conversation. The parents didnt say anything and after a while the 3yo got bored and went away.

The restaurant was a buffet type place and the parents of these kids let them have free range of the place meaning that when us and other customers went up to get food the 2 children were frequently bumbling into people and getting under everyone's feet! I mean surely it is common sense that children running riot and hot plates of food don't mix?

The 3yo was handed a bowl of sweets by the chef at the dessert station that she proceeded to drop all over the floor and walk off. The mum definitely saw this, she got up (to what I thought would be to clean up her kid's mess) but instead just walked passed it and got herself more food. hmm. The 6yo also kept coming and standing right next to our table and just stood staring at us, which again was really annoying.

The final straw was when the 3yo stood up in their booth again and peered over at us, and the proceeded to put her messy, sticky hands in my hair and rub them about! The mum saw the child doing this but just ignored it. So I turned round and said this; "Excuse me, I'm glad you seem to be enjoying your meal but unfortunately I am unable to do the same because of your annoying children. Would you please keep them in control so they don't ruin our meal anymore?"

Well I won't bore you with details but it didnt go down very well and the husband became quite aggressive verbally. They definitely thought I was being unreasonable because after all "they are just kids" confused and I am apparently also rude.

So MN jury, was IBU?

kerala Wed 03-Jul-13 18:32:06

You were in the right of course but what possessed you to eat in one of those dreadful pile your plate up with all sorts of odd food restaurants which attract families with badly behaved kids? Its where 10 year olds go for a birthday treat. A baffling choice seeing you were childfree.

YouTheCat Wed 03-Jul-13 18:32:19

I always expected my kids (even ds who is at the extreme end of the autistic spectrum) to behave and stay seated on the rare occasions we ate out. I'd take crayons and paper to keep them amused if need be.

Burmillababe Wed 03-Jul-13 18:32:57

It is families like that who are the reason that some people's hearts sink when children walk into a cafe or restaurant. YWNBU - if I had been in your position, I would have gone batshit before the disgusting incident with your hair!

mirry2 Wed 03-Jul-13 18:33:32

You weren't rude.

Moxiegirl Wed 03-Jul-13 18:33:38

Yanbu especially re the hair shock

Hmmkay Wed 03-Jul-13 18:34:31

Yanbu - I can't stand it when parents let their children stand up on chairs in restaurants! The parents shouldn't have let them behave like that.

I know you shouldn't HAVE to go somewhere a bit more adult oriented when you want a quiet meal but me and dh tend to pick places that don't provide high chairs when we have the chance to have a meal together without our own kids.

ComposHat Wed 03-Jul-13 18:38:49

When you get kids pulling this kind of shit whilst their parents sit by doing nothing, I find myself(somewhat guiltily) pining for the days when kids would be kept in line with the threat of a walloping if they acted up in public.

SoupDragon Wed 03-Jul-13 18:39:02


I can't believe posters think you were rude. I wouldn't have been nearly so restrained!

crashdoll Wed 03-Jul-13 18:39:08

While I'm not condoning those parents, you were quite rude and lost the moral high ground. That said, I'd be seriously unimpressed with potato in my hair. Hmm <sits on fence>!

YouTheCat Wed 03-Jul-13 18:40:23

I don't think OP was rude. She was stating a fact.

SoupDragon Wed 03-Jul-13 18:42:19

the 3 yr old playing peep-oh with you

Since when is standing on a seat, staring, playing peep-oh?

ArtexMonkey Wed 03-Jul-13 18:43:24

I can't stand children being a pita in restaurants, but that speech sounds like the sort of thing people make up in the car afterwards and wish they'd said.

JedwardScissorhands Wed 03-Jul-13 18:44:47

Totally reasonable of you. If one of mine had rubbed their sticky hands in someone's hair I would have apologised immediately and insisted on paying for their meal. I don't think they would, but I suppose kids are sometimes weird and unpredictable.

ReluctantBeing Wed 03-Jul-13 18:47:35

Yanbu. They sound like very poorly managed kids.

BrianButterfield Wed 03-Jul-13 18:49:47

It doesn't matter where you go, you should be able to go somewhere that children might be present without getting annoyed by them. I just took DS, who is under 2, to Morrison's cafe for dinner but he wasn't allowed to run around or spoil anyone else's meal. Just because it's just a supermarket cafe doesn't mean it's not someone's treat.

gordyslovesheep Wed 03-Jul-13 18:53:01

YANBU how vile - some people don't think disciplining kids is their job, as parents <eye roll>

drmelons Wed 03-Jul-13 18:55:36

Although I think you may have worded your retort inappropriately you most certainly were not bU.

I can not stand it when one family let their children behave so differently from all others. What would the restaurant have been like if all children behaved like this!

I had this the other day in the cinema, one child allowed to run up and down central isle singing throughout film whist parent waved and called out hello in normal volume voice. How do parents like this think they are teaching their children consideration for others?? It actually makes my blood boil, but also makes me sad for the children, surely it can not be doing them any favours for the future?

1Veryhungrycaterpillar Wed 03-Jul-13 18:55:41

I feel sorry that your first meal out in a while got ruined, if my kids did any of those things I'd be mortified and apologising to you

YesIamYourSisterInLaw Wed 03-Jul-13 18:55:47

I love this thread and I love your speech. Am I the only one who wants to be bored with th details of what was said after?

lurkedtoolong Wed 03-Jul-13 19:04:18

To those who think the OP was rude - what the hell was she supposed to say/do? Ignore the bad behaviour of parents and children or be all apologetic for actually wanting a pleasant evening out?

frissonpink Wed 03-Jul-13 19:07:33

Definitely you were NOT being unreasonable!

Indeed, I think you were rather restrained. I'd have blown wayy before you!

TacticalWheelbarrow Wed 03-Jul-13 19:10:05

artex it was hardly a Shakespeare Sonnet? Why is hard to believe someone couldn't be articulate enough to word something like that at the time confused

Letticetheslug Wed 03-Jul-13 19:10:08


TacticalWheelbarrow Wed 03-Jul-13 19:12:19

And I am shock at the few stories on here from other posters(especially) the Cinema one! I didn't believe that some parents behaved like this in real life, still can't believe it.

SlimePrincess Wed 03-Jul-13 19:27:18

The thought of the sticky fingers in your hair makes me shudder. YANBU!

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