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"Your kids are being annoying" AIBU. What is wrong with some people?

(106 Posts)
TacticalWheelbarrow Wed 03-Jul-13 17:23:18

Yesterday DH and I went to a hospital appointment for myself, we got out of there early and decided to go for dinner. It's been a long time since we have had the chance to eat out because we have been skint and had the kids with us, so we were fairly looking forward to it.

We go to the restaurant and were seated in a booth behind a family with 2 kids ages about 3&6.
We soon realised that this wasn't going to be a quiet meal. I was sitting with my back to the family and the 3yo stood up on their booth bench to peer over at us which we found a bit awkward and irritating because we were trying to eat and have a private conversation. The parents didnt say anything and after a while the 3yo got bored and went away.

The restaurant was a buffet type place and the parents of these kids let them have free range of the place meaning that when us and other customers went up to get food the 2 children were frequently bumbling into people and getting under everyone's feet! I mean surely it is common sense that children running riot and hot plates of food don't mix?

The 3yo was handed a bowl of sweets by the chef at the dessert station that she proceeded to drop all over the floor and walk off. The mum definitely saw this, she got up (to what I thought would be to clean up her kid's mess) but instead just walked passed it and got herself more food. hmm. The 6yo also kept coming and standing right next to our table and just stood staring at us, which again was really annoying.

The final straw was when the 3yo stood up in their booth again and peered over at us, and the proceeded to put her messy, sticky hands in my hair and rub them about! The mum saw the child doing this but just ignored it. So I turned round and said this; "Excuse me, I'm glad you seem to be enjoying your meal but unfortunately I am unable to do the same because of your annoying children. Would you please keep them in control so they don't ruin our meal anymore?"

Well I won't bore you with details but it didnt go down very well and the husband became quite aggressive verbally. They definitely thought I was being unreasonable because after all "they are just kids" confused and I am apparently also rude.

So MN jury, was IBU?

Tryharder Wed 03-Jul-13 17:50:46

You were both rude but they were ruder!

TidyDancer Wed 03-Jul-13 17:51:31

I think your speech was really quite rude but after hands in the hair and staring, I'm not sure I blame you for it!

KirjavaTheCat Wed 03-Jul-13 17:52:59

Yeah I'd have moved as soon as I realised the parents weren't interested telling their child not to peer over at you. You always stop a child doing that, even if the diners say they don't mind (as they sometimes do to me), it's not nice, children need to learn it's bad manners.

MissBeehiving Wed 03-Jul-13 17:53:57

I probably would have bosom hoisted and tutted until the hands in the hair incident. Then I would have said something . Nobody touches the Hair grin. Well done OP.

MarshaBrady Wed 03-Jul-13 17:55:14

You did well to compose such a long sentence! I would have been a lot blunter with the hair thing.

I also would have just moved, they sound too irritating.

TacticalWheelbarrow Wed 03-Jul-13 17:55:33

I didn't want to move because the only alternative was tables with wooden chairs that I find uncomfortable to sit on at the moment.

I don't see why I have known why she would put her hands in my hair? I have an 18 month old DD and a 2 yo nephew and I'm pretty sure they both wouldn't do that. Just me maybe?

CrapBag Wed 03-Jul-13 17:55:56

YANBU!!! I can't stand it when people let their children do this. Yes they are children but how are they to learn how to behave socially if you don't teach them?

My cousin lets his DS do this, and now he is complaining because he can't control him, maybe something to do with that fact that he lets him do what the hell he likes because he can't be bothered to parent him properly.

OP you were not rude, these people obviously didn't like their parenting (or lack of) taken into question. They would have been the first to jump up and down if a waitress/waiter had dropped something hot on them though.

Venue has no relevance. I don't let my kids do this in MacDonalds.

TacticalWheelbarrow Wed 03-Jul-13 17:58:27

Marsha, I composed myself before I confronted them because I didn't want to accidentally swear, I'm a bit of a germaphobe so was shock.

Afterwards in the car DH picked bits of potato (we think) out of my was very romantic grin

MiaowTheCat Wed 03-Jul-13 17:58:40

By page 3 we'll be bewailing the continental utopia where no one would ever quibble getting a hair makeover from sticky unrequested fingers.

Page 4 "I don't get why we hate kids in this country so much"

Page 6 will have the appearance of a potty and piddle

We've got the "shouldn't have gone to X venue" box fully ticked already.

Tailtwister Wed 03-Jul-13 17:58:43

Oh dear, sounds like a nightmare meal!

Tbh I would have asked to move tables rather than make a comment to the parents. They were still BU to let them behave like that though and I can't believe they let their child rub her hands on your hair!

cocolepew Wed 03-Jul-13 18:00:04

Why should she have moved? It's up to the parents to make sure their children were behaving probably.

KirjavaTheCat Wed 03-Jul-13 18:01:29

Yes coco but they clearly weren't. In that situation it's move or be mauled, or do as the OP did and say something, which most people won't do - me included. Much rather move and save the drama.

Mintberry Wed 03-Jul-13 18:02:58

I would have been really mad about the gross hands in hair thing! Yuck yuck yuck.
I would probably have tried to move table before then, though, if possible.
Unfortunately I am pretty bad at confrontation, though my dp goes pretty bananas over things like that, so they would no doubt have got an earful if that had been us!

cocolepew Wed 03-Jul-13 18:05:10

Oh no I'm all about the drama grin

MarshaBrady Wed 03-Jul-13 18:05:26

You did very well, I would have jumped. lol at the romance over the potato.

ha at Miaow.

YANBU btw.

MrsOakenshield Wed 03-Jul-13 18:06:11

I fail to understand why on earth the OP should be expected to move tables, rather than the parents of these children supervise them properly. That's simply going to teach those kids and their parents that they can do what they like and everyone will step out of their way and let them get on with it!

The children were annoying (and dangerous, can't stand seeing little ones running around in restaurants and cafes, do people expect the waiting staff to have eyes in their knees?) and their parents were crap. YANBU.

(Oh, and of course you can have a private conversation in a restaurant. What a ridiculous thing to say.)

cocolepew Wed 03-Jul-13 18:06:33

I surprised so many people wouldn't have said anything. I must be mouthier than I realised hmm.

LookingForwardToMarch Wed 03-Jul-13 18:12:23

You did well OP!

After the hair incident i'm afraid I would have gone batshit crazy!

A la Ace Ventura 'Nobody, NOBODY touches the DO!'

HerRoyalNotness Wed 03-Jul-13 18:15:09

Before reading the OP, I was thinking, children ARE annoying. But they should not be annoying out in restaurants where are other people are paying good money for a meal to enjoy.


K8Middleton Wed 03-Jul-13 18:22:39

Omg unless you were dining at London Zoo in the chimp enclosure at tea time YANBU.

Parents who let their children run riot in public through their own sheer laziness deserve a special place in hell being tormented by other people's children.

soverylucky Wed 03-Jul-13 18:26:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhoNickedMyName Wed 03-Jul-13 18:28:28


I think more people should speak up like you did, rather than silently seethe.

I don't let my DS interfere with other people's quiet meal when we are out, so people with kids could fuck off if they think I'd put up with theirs when I'm out on a rare child-free occasion.

Pimpf Wed 03-Jul-13 18:29:34

Can't understand why people have said you were rude op, I think you were very restrained and good for you for saying something.

The dad was right though, they are only kids, which is why it's his responsibility to teach them how to and how not to behave, idiot!

MammaTJ Wed 03-Jul-13 18:31:12

You were not being unreasonable.

aldiwhore Wed 03-Jul-13 18:31:39

YANBU to be annoyed, but you called the children annoying, and that's going to rub anyone up the wrong way.

I think you should have spoken to the manager, the children were being allowed to become a hazard, the management should have dealt with it.

YANBU and it's one of my pet hates, both as a parent, and as someone who tripped over a small child whilst carrying hot food and ended up sloshing it over an innocent diner, the shabby parents are quick to blame you when that happens.

I am not a person who believes children should be seen and not heard, and actually, the 3 yr old playing peep-oh with you, though annoying, is not the sign of bad parenting, the rest is though.

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