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"Your kids are being annoying" AIBU. What is wrong with some people?

(106 Posts)
TacticalWheelbarrow Wed 03-Jul-13 17:23:18

Yesterday DH and I went to a hospital appointment for myself, we got out of there early and decided to go for dinner. It's been a long time since we have had the chance to eat out because we have been skint and had the kids with us, so we were fairly looking forward to it.

We go to the restaurant and were seated in a booth behind a family with 2 kids ages about 3&6.
We soon realised that this wasn't going to be a quiet meal. I was sitting with my back to the family and the 3yo stood up on their booth bench to peer over at us which we found a bit awkward and irritating because we were trying to eat and have a private conversation. The parents didnt say anything and after a while the 3yo got bored and went away.

The restaurant was a buffet type place and the parents of these kids let them have free range of the place meaning that when us and other customers went up to get food the 2 children were frequently bumbling into people and getting under everyone's feet! I mean surely it is common sense that children running riot and hot plates of food don't mix?

The 3yo was handed a bowl of sweets by the chef at the dessert station that she proceeded to drop all over the floor and walk off. The mum definitely saw this, she got up (to what I thought would be to clean up her kid's mess) but instead just walked passed it and got herself more food. hmm. The 6yo also kept coming and standing right next to our table and just stood staring at us, which again was really annoying.

The final straw was when the 3yo stood up in their booth again and peered over at us, and the proceeded to put her messy, sticky hands in my hair and rub them about! The mum saw the child doing this but just ignored it. So I turned round and said this; "Excuse me, I'm glad you seem to be enjoying your meal but unfortunately I am unable to do the same because of your annoying children. Would you please keep them in control so they don't ruin our meal anymore?"

Well I won't bore you with details but it didnt go down very well and the husband became quite aggressive verbally. They definitely thought I was being unreasonable because after all "they are just kids" confused and I am apparently also rude.

So MN jury, was IBU?

LadyBryan Wed 03-Jul-13 17:25:11

You weren't being unreasonable. They were.

I cannot abide people who take their children out to places where their behaviour can affect others and don't both to discipline them

shoppingbagsundereyes Wed 03-Jul-13 17:25:37

Yes you were BU to choose Pizza Hut for a quiet meal presumably early in the evening. Next time go somewhere else or go there later.
However, I wouldn't allow my 5 and 7 year olds to roam the buffet without supervision or peer over the booth. They were very rude.

TacticalWheelbarrow Wed 03-Jul-13 17:26:28

Actually shopping it wasn't Pizza Hut, it was Jimmy's World foods...

MardyBra Wed 03-Jul-13 17:26:41


shoppingbagsundereyes Wed 03-Jul-13 17:26:51

Gosh just noticed the messy hands in your hair bit! That is horrendous. You are certainly not at all U to be furious about that.

whois Wed 03-Jul-13 17:29:14

Messy hands in hair? You wouldn't have been U to have been a lot more forceful!

Arabesque Wed 03-Jul-13 17:30:43

YANBU. The parents were pig ignorant and needed telling. Good for you. Maybe what you said will slowly sink in through their thick skulls and they might be a little bit more considerate the next time they eat out.

WireCat Wed 03-Jul-13 17:32:40

I don't care if its McDonalds.

Children should be taught to sit down while they're eating & stay sitting down.

So as not to disturb other people & also not to get knocked over or hot food/drinks spilled on them.

Was in Costa a few weeks ago & a mother was most put out when she was asked if she could try & keep her little one sat down as people were carrying hot drinks & they'd be very upset if her child got injured. SE was very huffy.

You were most definitely not being unreasonable.

Btw, my 4 year old is autistic & has global delay. If he can sit quietly in a restaurant (well ASK!) then I would imagine most children can so long as the parents insist.

TacticalWheelbarrow Wed 03-Jul-13 17:32:45

* whois* what do you mean by forceful? grin

GetStuffezd Wed 03-Jul-13 17:33:10

Agh, I can't bear when people say you we're being U for going to an eating establishment at a certain time because you should expect this kind of shit at XYZ time of day.
YANBU to expect to be able to at a meal in peace and expect other people to keep their children under control.

BrianTheMole Wed 03-Jul-13 17:33:41

God no, the hands in the hair would have made me react like that too.

blackbirdatglanmore Wed 03-Jul-13 17:36:21

I think calling the children "annoying children" was maybe a BIT unreasonable, as after all, it was their parents who were at fault rather than the children.

But you were provoked and I can quite see why you just snapped something out so on balance no, not at all unreasonable!

ArtexMonkey Wed 03-Jul-13 17:36:49

Did you REALLY make that speech? Out loud?

TacticalWheelbarrow Wed 03-Jul-13 17:39:45

Yes artex I was bloody pissed off by the end of it all angry

YouTheCat Wed 03-Jul-13 17:40:54

They were annoying and vile.

olidusUrsus Wed 03-Jul-13 17:41:04

Agree that it doesn't matter if it's Maccas or the Ritz. I'd have blown an aneurysm at the hair thing!

CloudsAndTrees Wed 03-Jul-13 17:42:00

I think you were quite rude, but not as much as the family with the feral kids.

You should have asked them before the children had annoyed you so much that it would have been almost impossible to be polite.

Floggingmolly Wed 03-Jul-13 17:42:13

What's wrong with that speech? I'd have done the same. Not really expecting it to be taken on board, though, tbh.
Some people have absolutely no sense of shame, and can't even be embarrassed into behaving decently.

Fakebook Wed 03-Jul-13 17:45:43

Why didnt you move when you realised the 3 year old kept peering over? My first instinct would've been "shit she might touch my hair".

Why didnt you ask the staff if you could move tables?

Restaurants aren't the best place to have a private conversation and I'm sure a 3 year old wouldn't have understood anyway.

HepsibarCrinkletoes Wed 03-Jul-13 17:46:02


MoonHare Wed 03-Jul-13 17:46:36

I commend you for having the presence of mind to utter such a brilliant sentence. True, it's not the kids fault they were being annoying but still, you were not BU.

Parents ALWAYS react defensively when they have not been supervising their children properly. I think this is 1. guilt, they are in the wrong and they know it, but also 2. the sort of people who don't supervise their children properly are also usually the sort of people who don't care about how their children behave and think it's OK to be rude when others ask them to do something about it.

Good for you.

Yonilovesboni Wed 03-Jul-13 17:47:47

Personally I would have moved tables well before messy hands. However yanbu, I have 4dc age 6 and under who would never behave like this!

Damnautocorrect Wed 03-Jul-13 17:48:45

How will little people learn to behave in a restaurant if they aren't told by their parents?
Mind you sounds like mums not too much better if she swerved the mess her child caused

70isaLimitNotaTarget Wed 03-Jul-13 17:50:14

The standing up and the food dropping I'd have glared t but the fact the mum ignored the 3yo rubbing her mucky hands in your hair shock . I wouldn't have been so restrained

e were on a bus a while back ad a little b (about 3yo) was kneeling on his sea very near my DD head with lollipop (sticky one not ice-lolly type).

I said to the boy "Can you keep that away from my DD head" ?
I didn't have time to ask the mum to move her child- my daughter would have been wearing it.
I didn't shout or speak nasty. But the mu gave me a wh*re of a look !

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