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please give me your opinions about mother approaching dh on school run..

(242 Posts)
wintertimeisfun Wed 03-Jul-13 16:25:36

would you have alarm bells rining if your partner/dh told you a women he often sees on school run (he shares it with me due to my job) & exchange smiles (as one does with many of the other mums to be friendly) has approached him asking him if he wants to be her 'cycling buddy' as she has seen him cycling. he said he was quite taken aback as he doesn't know her and has only smiled to before. possibly she thinks he is single etc or it could be literally just what she suggests although she could have approached anyone. tbh i wouldn't go upto someone else's partner at the school gate and ask them if they want to come with me to ie the gym or on a trip to do what i do for a living (if i had heard he was also into the same thing). opinions please... i am not very comfortable with it (or he) and i am not a posessive type, quite the opposite normally

Idocrazythings Fri 05-Jul-13 14:30:16

The first above comment was a x-post

wintertimeisfun Fri 05-Jul-13 14:56:07

what i meant was that people, myself included, usually assume that the really good looking men want a matching accessory and gravitate towards really good looking women (arm candy), there's even a dating agency aimed towards the likes called Sugardaddy. if i see a good looking bloke with a women who is plainer than he it makes me think he isn't as vain/self absorbed as the others (as they appear). perhaps using the word 'admire' wasn't best chosen. doesn't happen often though, i rarely see a good looking bloke with an 'ordinary' looking partner

LadyClariceCannockMonty Fri 05-Jul-13 15:13:16

'Why is she getting the pursed lips treatment not him?'


He's the one who's married. He knows how it makes you feel. He is also a grown-up who is (presumably) capable of saying no to her. Or are we buying in here to the 'man as poor defenceless mite in the face of woman's dangerous seductive power' thing'?

Oh, and saying things like 'i just don't like females that much. so what.' doesn't make you come across particularly well.

wintertimeisfun Fri 05-Jul-13 16:51:22

jeeez, i have said, more than once that i WAS pissed off with him. he explained why he gave the number, so have i on here too, many times. as for my not particularly enjoying female company and being honest about it. i don't post on here to win friends and am not bothered if it makes me sound off, especially as this site is mostly frequented by females :-)

motherinferior Fri 05-Jul-13 16:55:02

Would you say 'I don't really like black people', out of interest?

wintertimeisfun Fri 05-Jul-13 17:15:24

omg, wtf? i'm not even going to answer your question. only on MN could someone bring race into a random discussion nothing to do with race confused although do know where you are coming from (to group everyone into one group). I obviously don't dislike all females, i have mentioned more than once that my closest friend is female. i just tend to a/not be as comfortable and b/have less sharing interests. having said that, i work with a fair few women who i am fond of. tbh i have had some awful female bollocks over the years with female friends and naturally keep my distance. just seems less complicated when around with my male mates..

trackies Fri 05-Jul-13 20:31:19

This has got nothing to with race. I'm brown and I can see that. Also get where you are coming from on the preferring male company. I'm the same. Easier and less complicated to deal with.

londone17 Fri 05-Jul-13 20:35:40

So do I.

wintertimeisfun Fri 05-Jul-13 21:28:41

smile nice one ladies

msshapelybottom Fri 05-Jul-13 21:30:19

This thread is why I keep a very clear distance between me (single woman) and men at the school gate. We chat about the weather and the kids but I am always wary of giving off the wrong message. Cos you know, all us single women are out to get a man by any means we can. I have a friend who was single when we met and now he is in a long term relationship. I feel I have to keep my distance from him too. So many people think a partner is their possession and are threatened by other women. I find it very sad. I would hate to be seen as "predatory" for being friendly.

Actually, this reminds me of a night I was out in the pub with a friend. We live at opposite ends of our village so I hung around till a married guy I know who lives near me was leaving so he could walk me home. The reason? I felt safe walking home with him because he was married. Now I am thinking the entire village must be locking their men in just incase one of them accidentally falls in love with me wink

Kewcumber Fri 05-Jul-13 23:03:13

motherinferior - your reference went "whooooooosh" but it wasn't totally wasted.

We women we're all the same us - complicated bitchy types and those men, simple creatures.

motherinferior Sat 06-Jul-13 08:41:18


Most of the utter arseholes I've met have been white people, but I don't dislike all white people on that basis.

MortifiedAdams Sat 06-Jul-13 08:55:30

Remembet Kevin Webster and Molly Dobbs as the running buddies?

Before you know it OP, they will be having an illigitinate child and a tram will fall on her. Good luck!

merrymouse Sat 06-Jul-13 09:43:30

I thought wintertime was just making the point that she was comfortable with opposite sex platonic relationships.

As I said before, I think the reason both of them felt uncomfortable is that it is odd to jump to 'buddy' friendship status without starting off with a bit of small talk with either the OP or her partner. I suspect he gave her the phone number because he was wrong footed by her rather odd behaviour.

wintertimeisfun Sat 06-Jul-13 11:10:03

merry spot on smile

nevergoogle Sat 06-Jul-13 11:19:58

I'd point her in the direction of British Cycling's Breeze Network for women for group rides to get her confidence in the routes available in the area.

If there are none, she could train to become a leader and meet lots of like minded women.

nevergoogle Sat 06-Jul-13 11:27:44

although my suggestion negates the need to get yourselves in a spin about an invite to go cycling, so might not be quite what you are looking for.

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