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Aibu and need some advice reg sil cat when visiting with my baby

(35 Posts)
Cherub1002 Wed 03-Jul-13 10:44:14

Hi all I thought I'd make a posting to get some advice just in case I am being over the top.

I have a 5 month old daughter we have yet to visit sil at her house as we haven't been invited which is fine. Hubby says that sil would like to invite us round. There is one thing that unsettles me is her cat. I have looked after her cat whilst sil has been on holiday. The cat is quite shy and scares easily. One day my sister visited me whilst I was looking after the cat and and it attacked her - was very scary, claws came out - it looked vicious! I had to put the cat in a room away from my sister.

I think the cat is scared of loud noises and can snap. So if I do visit my sil I would like her to send the cat out or put it in a room somewhere - I know this sounds a bit demanding but I don't think I can settle if I visited her and it would kill me if the cat had a go at my daughter.

My daughter is testing her voice at the moment, she gets really excited and screeches her voice so I think if the cat was in the same room the noise would scare the cat.

Hubby says that sil said that the cat doesn't like babies but it won't go anywhere near her. This doesn't sit well with me having seen the cat attack my sister which sil is aware of.

I want to be able to say please lock the cat out or in a room, it won't be a long trip as we only live round the corner so I think it will just be a half hour visit - not too cruel to lock the cat in a room.

Am I being over the top? I can't see how sil thinks that the cat won't have a go and I don't want to test it out to see what happens I just want the cat out when we visit - why put my baby in danger to find out.

I am a bit over protective, I'm thinking of leaving if she doesn't keep the cat away.

That cat has some claws!

frissonpink Wed 03-Jul-13 16:34:18

My MIL refuses to put her two aggressive dogs away from my 8 month old.

Which is why she's only seen DD 3 times since she's been born.

Mother Lion indeed, but why the hell take the risk! If SIL wants to see your daughter, putting cat away is hardly a big ask, is it?

margarethamilton Wed 03-Jul-13 16:47:24

Tread carefully. My SIL has been moody with me since I asked her not to dangle my baby in front of her old, sleepy, grumpy cat when he had his claws out and was ready to pounce!

It doesn't bother me when people want no engagement with our dog, but people are touchy about their pets.

Nottalotta Wed 03-Jul-13 17:09:43

I would ask politely and say you are worried, maybe unnecessarily, but you would't feel comfortable about visiting if the cat isn't in a different room. (i have quite a crazy cat but he is very tolerant of my nephews)

JerseySpud Wed 03-Jul-13 17:13:31

i think YAB a bit U

Its the cats home and all cats i know just ran away from the kids when they were babies.

If the cat is locked away everytime a baby comes around they will associate the baby/child with being locked away.

My semi feral was fine when i brought my baby home or friends brought their babies around and she just went and slept in our room out of the way

LittleNoona Wed 03-Jul-13 17:22:23

I think you are being a teeny bit U, but I can understand why.

I have 4 cats of different temperaments. In my experience cats avoid babies. They don't like the noise!

I wouldn't be too worried taking my baby to a house with a cat.

BUT if my sil - or anyone else with a baby/toddler - came round, I would rather they ask me to get the cat out/away than sit there feeling uncomfortable or clutching the child to them and shooing the cat away themselves as if it were a rabid dog (that really gets my goat!)

Cherub1002 Wed 03-Jul-13 19:54:27

Well most of you are saying the cat will most likely run away, but has your cat attacked anyone ?

Me and hubby have been talking about it and he too feels a bit uncomfortable as the cat is unpredictable and has attacked people, but maybe it's different with a baby. I'm clueless as I have never had a cat, it's just kinda put me off seeing her attack my sister.

We will go and visit. If sil doesn't agree with putting the cat out then we will still go and hope the cat will keep away. I suppose we can't ask her to send the cat out every time we visit with our dd.

Judyandherdreamofhorses Thu 04-Jul-13 10:03:48

Some people are very odd about pets. I have my niece here today. She's a bit wary of dogs - hasn't been around them much as DSIL is very allergic to them.

DDog is in his crate. He'll be in there until DNiece feels happy about him. If she doesn't, he'll stay there (not all day, just when she's here, as if we were going out). He doesn't care, he's a dog. He's asleep, in fact. I want my DNiece to be happy and comfortable here because I love her.

The cat hates babies and children so is outside, by choice.

edam Thu 04-Jul-13 10:07:33

If this was an ordinary cat I'd say YABU esp. as you will be right next to your baby at all times given she's five months old but a. you are her Mother and entitled to be protective and b. the thing about the cat throwing herself across the room to attack your sister is very strange and extremely worrying.

Ask your SIL to shut the cat out during the visit - I hope she'll be fine about it, given she knows the cat is easily startled and aggressive when startled.

quoteunquote Thu 04-Jul-13 10:09:10

put a few drops of citrus oil on baby's blanket, the cat will stay away.

thegreylady Thu 04-Jul-13 11:38:35

My two cats stay well away from young children-they hide under the bookcase when we have small visitors.If the visitor is my 6 yr old grandson they will approach him because they know him and he loves cats.
I have always had cats and have 9 grandchildren none of whom have ever been hurt in any way by any of my cats [or dogs when we had them].
That said I always offer to put the cats out of the room if a visitor is wary and would not be at all hurt to be asked to do that.

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