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To long for a world free from cunting pigeons

(141 Posts)
HoneyDragon Tue 02-Jul-13 17:57:23

Because the dog







And they just it there staring.


Coo, coo, coo. All day.

Bark, coo, bark, coo.

I apologised to the neighbours, thankfully they haven't noticed the dog. They will when I run after the feathery bastards with a chain saw though.

TheMagicKeyCanFuckOff Tue 02-Jul-13 18:43:44

I hate those feral ones which hop into the garden (with fleas...) looking scrawny and pathetic then killed the baby blackbirds when they were in the nest last year.

PoppyWearer Tue 02-Jul-13 18:49:21

We have some nesting in front of our house. angryangry

PoppyWearer Tue 02-Jul-13 18:49:32


ihatethecold Tue 02-Jul-13 18:50:45

Omg same here.
I hate the feckers.
They wake me up at 5am everyday!!!!!angry

Madamecastafiore Tue 02-Jul-13 18:52:37

We have bloody great fat fucking wood pigeons round here. They spend their time walking up and down my front path shitting a lot. It's like a bloody assault course dodging the shit and washing it away is do not my fave morning activity!!!

ClaraOswald Tue 02-Jul-13 18:53:21

Isn't that a smidge of an over-reaction Honey?

<coo, coo>

FadBook Tue 02-Jul-13 18:54:31

I have shagging pigeons on my fence on daily basis.

My garden has many feathers.

I keep clapping and shouting at them.

I don't need more pigeons.

I need to get a gun cat.

SlouchingPanda Tue 02-Jul-13 18:56:09

Wood pigeons are destroying my vegetable plot. I am considering an air rifle then serving their pan fried breast on a bed of their favourite leaves.

BeGoodElliot Tue 02-Jul-13 19:02:28

Urgh, I hate pigeons! I was walking through the city centre today and one did a u-turn in the air in front of me and rubbed it's flee ridden wings across my arm! Have felt dirty all day!

VeganCow Tue 02-Jul-13 19:20:01

I must be weird as i like pigeons, especially wood pigeons.
I had a breeding pair for years in my garden.

HoneyDragon Tue 02-Jul-13 19:22:17

No Clara it is not. <<glares>>

One is so recalcitrant that it remains on the fence cooing even when you try and poke it off.

It looks at you with its mad beady pigeon eyes, and I SWEAR it muttered "wanker" at me when I told it to fuck off.

Pixel Tue 02-Jul-13 20:48:14

I like them, some of them have beautiful markings. We have BFP (big fat pigeon) who comes into the garden every day to scoff bread and a very sweet pair of collared doves who sit side by side in the tree outside our back door.
The other day I found a racing pigeon with a dodgy wing, he wandered into my living room so I popped him in the cat basket and took him down the vet so they could find his owner. He was cute, seemed to enjoy his car journey!

May I suggest that the problem is actually the untrained dog that doesn't shut up when it's told? wink

HoneyDragon Tue 02-Jul-13 20:52:56

She does shut up when she's told. But the pigeons keep coming back. They are unending. Every coming pigeons.

It looks at you with its mad beady pigeon eyes, and I SWEAR it muttered "wanker" at me when I told it to fuck off. this makes me want to shout fuck off to the thousands of them in my garden (feels like) and see what they have to say grin

Pixel Tue 02-Jul-13 20:55:17

Honey sounds more like Hitchcock's 'The Birds' than normal pigeon behaviour to me. Perhaps your dog is trying to tell you something grin.

5Foot5 Tue 02-Jul-13 20:55:22

I must be weird as i like pigeons, especially wood pigeons.

Yes you are weird - horrible birds.
One great big fat so-and-so destroyed my mini-water garden because it mistook it for a bird bath.

TheMagicKeyCanFuckOff Tue 02-Jul-13 20:55:43

Am not sure to be envy or not about wood pigeons, they're not common here. We just get flying rats with feathers and missing legs.

littlewhitebag Tue 02-Jul-13 20:57:04

I have bloody millions of them exaggerates a little all over our lawn, along with the bastard rabbits. Labrador goes woof, whine, scrabble, let me at the fuckers all day long. I feel your pain Honeydragon

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Tue 02-Jul-13 20:59:08

I adore 'my' woodpigeons.
But maybe they are not the same as Cunting Pigeons, which I must admit, I've not heard of before now.
Do they provide a service, like those birds that pick the bugs off hippopotami? smile

littlewhitebag Tue 02-Jul-13 21:01:29

Cunting pigeons and wood pigeons are the same thing AFAIK.

orangeandemons Tue 02-Jul-13 21:02:20

Pigeons are vermin IMO.

A few up turned nails on their favourite roosting patch soon sorts the little bastards out

Failing that a large cannon would do he trick

MoonlightandRoses Tue 02-Jul-13 21:08:00

Well, surely all you need to do is release your alter ego... grin grin

Or, alternatively, try something from here.

NatashaBee Tue 02-Jul-13 21:11:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TeaCuresEverything Tue 02-Jul-13 21:13:19

Oooh now this is my kind of thread.

I LOATHE fucking pigeons. Scabby, scaly, disease ridden cunts.

Ruining every meal I try to have outside angry

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