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To feel sad to see 5 year old girl in hijab

(909 Posts)
INeedSomeSun Tue 02-Jul-13 09:44:37

Probably will get flamed for this & iabu as its not my business.
I am not racist in any way. I am Asian myself and have many Muslim friends.

Growing up, I never saw any muslim girls with hijabs. This is a trend which has been growing since the late 90s.

I know that the meaning behind the hijab is to protect modesty and show committment to Islam. It is supposed to be the girls/womans decision after much thought and dedication.

At 5 years old they are still getting changed in the classroom for PE and she won't be able to do this now with boys around. How will she play and do PE freely? She has been singled out by the views of her parents.
Also, she will barely know what religion means, so she has not made an informed decision for herself.

Normally she is chasing about with my DS and other kids before school.Today she was just stood there, perhaps embarrassed or told not to?
I felt very sad

CrapsWithBears Tue 02-Jul-13 10:05:50


What do you suggest they do? Exclude children wearing hijabs? Should they also exclude Sikh boys who wear a patka? And since when was every child wearing a hijab being raised be an extremist?

ClartyCarol Tue 02-Jul-13 10:06:44

YANBU, I agree. She is having her parents' views on religion pushed on to her at a very young age.

I can't bear to see women in burqas. What does her mother wear?

Greythorne Tue 02-Jul-13 10:07:38

Why would a child be required to wear a headscarf?

EhricLovesTeamQhuay Tue 02-Jul-13 10:09:16

I have Muslim family and I respect the values and philosophy of the hijab, but it is not necessary or appropriate for little girls to wear it daily.

ClartyCarol Tue 02-Jul-13 10:14:35

Actually I meant niqab not burqa (although I think the burqa is the worst of all, I don't actually see anyone wearing it around here. There are a couple of women at dc's school who v wear a niqab).

ThePurpleCarrot Tue 02-Jul-13 10:18:15

I've lived in the ME and have never seen a child that age wearing one.

Where does this happen?

Crumbledwalnuts Tue 02-Jul-13 10:20:35

It's quite extremist to put a small child in a full face, a veil or even a hijab. It's supposed to be a modesty thing. Interesting how "it's only scarf" is directed at people who don't like it, whereas it's plainly not "only a scarf" to the people who put their kids in it, it actually does mean something.

Feelingood Tue 02-Jul-13 10:21:06

I think agree with OP just for practical reasons - but then someone has posted children can manage fine.

As for making own choices - I agree this should be made later as the child grows and develops a deeper understanding of their faith and symbols related to faith.

I have a 7yr old DS. I like him to have what he needs to help him fit in - I thin school can be tough enough and there are plenty other ways to express individuality. I personally do not like my DS to stand out in anyway e.g. he doesn't like to wear a vest on PE day - its seen as babyish?? I don't force the issue. if that makes any sense.

Crumbledwalnuts Tue 02-Jul-13 10:21:29

Carps: yes, hijabs should be banned in primary schools, I would say.

Longdistance Tue 02-Jul-13 10:21:55

I was on a flight to Tripoli, and a father had his little girl on his lap, so under two. He was making her wear one as was constantly adjusting it for her, whilst she kept pulling at it. He had 6 other dc, and had 3 other girls all wearing the hijab.

Crumbledwalnuts Tue 02-Jul-13 10:23:25

Well that might start something, either way I won't be here to defend it! hope I have't lit a touch paper there........

Latara Tue 02-Jul-13 10:25:56

I rarely see girls under the age of about 10 in hijab in this area because it's not really meant for young children.

nenevomito Tue 02-Jul-13 10:26:11

I think hijabs and burkas are bloody brilliant.

Men are such base creatures that without one they're unable to control themselves from the effects of seeing bits of a woman, like their legs. I think its very prudent of the parents to cover their child up like this if they believe men are so incapable of keeping their hands to themselves.

ThePurpleCarrot Tue 02-Jul-13 10:26:11

Longdistance - that is so sad.

FantasticDay Tue 02-Jul-13 10:27:05

Purple - One of my 7 yo dd's friends has worn hijab from about age 5. Another wore it for a few days but was so resistant that her mum decided to leave it for a while. We live in a large city in the Northwest. About 10 percent of my daughter's school are Moslem. I don't like hijab on young girls tbh, and have Moslem family who also dislike it. Kids are not likely to be thinking of each other in a sexual way at that age, and if an adult is looking at a kid like that, then it's their problem and not the child's responsibility to cover.

littleducks Tue 02-Jul-13 10:27:06

She may not be wearing it tomorrow, dd went to school in hijab age 5 once. I was at work and a friend took her to school, she borrowed one of the friends (older) daughter scarves.

She is currently begging me to wear a scarf, to be like me and her older cousins. I'm not letting her until she us in the juniors (when she is also allowed to pierce her ears). Not because I particularly care but because I'm worried about negative attention not from the other children but other parents. She wears a scarf to mosque/religious events sometimes and if we go to the park after (which we tend to as a reward for sitting quietly and behaving) she gets lots of dirty looks and the odd whisper, shame people direct it at her rather than me or her father. Oh and as for movement she appears to be able to do the monkey bars and hanging upside down better as it keeps the hair out her face.

Oh and the tickets thing is a bit of a myth, apparently the causes are complex but include increased use if sunscreen/covering up since skin cancer risks became more known and people with darker complexions living in our grey, dreary climate.

littleducks Tue 02-Jul-13 10:30:11

Rickets not tickets (am on phone)

Viviennemary Tue 02-Jul-13 10:31:00

I agree. It's dreadful and quite a new thing this last ten or so years ago.

DeWe Tue 02-Jul-13 10:32:29

But maybe it's her choice?
She'll see the grown ups wearing one, and it will be a symbol of being grown up to her, in a way that other children want heels or pierced ears because that's what mummy wears. I remember dd1 being desperate for a watch, and saying when she had a watch she would be grown up as all grown ups had them.

I don't agree with the reasoning behind the veils-it seems very insulting to men to say that a man can't possibly look at a woman without being overcome with lust. Women are obviously much stronger in this matter as they can manage to look at a man without being tempted to think that way.

ThePurpleCarrot Tue 02-Jul-13 10:37:10

DeWe - they are children. Their choices are not always the best and that's why parents are responsible for them.

tigerlilygrr Tue 02-Jul-13 10:41:43

I am very surprised by this too as worked in the UAE for two years and never saw young children in head scarves. It does seem a shame.

bottleofbeer Tue 02-Jul-13 11:06:22

I just got back from a weekend away with the family whilst there I saw a family, mum, dad, boy, girl.

The mother was in a full on burqua and I found myself instantly annoyed by it, tbh I was really pissed off and couldn't understand why.

Then I realised; they're totally dehumanising. The human brain is programmed to recognise faces and to work out how others are feeling seeing their face. Dehumanising and only worn by females.

Honestly love, even if my husband had seen your face he'd control himself oh and btw, mind me asking why your husband isn't wearing one? he looks very comfortable in his casual wear while you're walking round like a bloody ninja.

sparechange Tue 02-Jul-13 11:13:11

I've lived in the middle east and Pakistan, and never ever saw children in a hijab.
In South London, I see primary school aged girls in them on the bus 3 or 4 days a week.
My bus route starts in a fairly well-established Somali community, so my (probably over-generalised) view is that they are probably of Somali origin rather than ME or Asian?
Even so, I find it sad that they are basically viewing their tiny girls as sexual objects who need to be covered up.

FrauMoose Tue 02-Jul-13 11:19:00

But is it worse than the cute, sexualised, pink glittery clothing available for girls. The hair bobbles for little girls who haven't even got much more than fine baby hair? The short skirts which mean that girls become self-conscious about physical play and activity.

ThePurpleCarrot Tue 02-Jul-13 11:24:00

FrauMoose - I think that is a totally different subject.

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