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To Think Accidental Pregnancy Does Exist?

(160 Posts)
TigOldBitties Mon 01-Jul-13 19:59:57

Just had a very bizarre conversation with mother collecting DDs friend.

I won't list of the exact details of the conversation, but on discussing a certain topic it came to light that she doesn't believe anyone accidentally gets pregnant.

I informed her it bloody well does, I've 3 of my 5 DC as evidence. She then scoffed at this and gave me a wink before walking off with her DD.

She used the sentence, "everyone knows accidents are bullshit, people never buy that excuse". Is this true? Or have I been bullshitting my way through the past 20 years without realising.

I feel quite annoyed that she implied I was lying. I'm a confrontational person but as this is DD's new friend I was trying to keep it under control.

AIBU to think its pretty fucking obvious, especially to those with a child or just basic sex education, how one might become pregnant by accident?

CuppaSarah Mon 08-Jul-13 13:38:17

DD wasn't an accident, but we weren't actually ttc. We discussed the possibility of children. Decided it was something we did both want, but we also weren't in such a rush we were going to get onto ttc. We started using early withdrawal and natural rhythming, knowing it was always a possibility.

But we tell people she was a lovely accident because it's much shorter to explain and people aren't really that interested.

samithesausage Mon 08-Jul-13 06:48:20

Reading the adoption pages of monkeyworld... Some of the monkeys born in monkey world were the result of contraception failure!

kickassangel Mon 08-Jul-13 04:45:11

I think that there are real accidents, where all sensible precautions have been taken, and only complete abstinence could be safer.

However, I have also heard of a LOT of 'accidents' which were carelessness. I have also heard people say they had a car accident when they are clearly feckless. I think some people are just better at accepting responsibility than others.

So I can understand someone being skeptical about accidents, but it is still rude to say it to someone.

Just as an aside, why is it so often the women who get frowned upon for getting pregnant? I'm assuming there was a man around somewhere for the accident to happen.

Mamagiraffe Mon 08-Jul-13 03:43:45

9 months ago me and my (supposedly infertile) husband (as he is now) had a condom break and took the morning after pill (you can see where this is going can't you? ;-)) ... I type this on my phone in bed next to hewhosnoresalot whilst I'm pretty sure I'm in the early stages of labour!

TheDoctrineOfAllan Thu 04-Jul-13 00:07:57

Namechanger, that's sad, sorry that happened.

TheDoctrineOfAllan Thu 04-Jul-13 00:06:54

Gin, KobayashiMaru (have you read the book of that name too?) - some couples are more fertile than others though, so we might all be having accidents all the time eg sperm on the outside of the condom, a duff pill that missed having any hormone in it or whatever BUT we are lucky in that sperm didn't happen to meet egg.

Have friends who had to have fairly extensive medical intervention to have their first then got pregnant with their second after one condom free shag. Not an accident per se but unexpected (and luckily welcome, if shocking at first).

courgetteDOTcom Thu 04-Jul-13 00:05:08

No contraception is 100% used perfectly.

Did anyone read a few years who the couple who had both been sterilised several times? I've also heard one that got pregnant and carried after a hysterectomy, sex the night before the op and implanted inside her. Usually those aren't viable but it landed somewhere safe.

Namechanger012345 Wed 03-Jul-13 23:47:37

Getting pregnant while using condoms or the pill doesn't automatically mean you have committed some kind of "user error" and done something incorrectly. Just annoyed by some of the suggestions that people who get pregnant while using these methods are somehow just being sloppy and careless angry I think I'm taking some of these comments overly personally but I recently had a completely accidental pregnancy while using condoms and I was not being careless. I wonder if it was one of those far fetched scenarios with a bit of sperm on a finger or something as mentioned above. Certainly there was no breakage or any noticeable failure. In the end I decided to have an abortion and it was a really really horrible time. I would hate to think anyone thinks I brought this all on by my own sloppiness because I didn't.

KobayashiMaru Wed 03-Jul-13 20:59:46

Of course there are accidents, but the vast majority are human error, not true contraceptive failures. Once you've had one accidental pregnancy, you need to get a bit more careful. After two, you're going to get a raised eyebrow or two, unsurprisingly.

gindrinker Wed 03-Jul-13 20:52:19

I think there are accidents and 'accidents'.
If you get pregnant with the implant/IUD/ injection, then you've taken reasonable precautions and getting pregnant although possible isn't very likely. Classed as an accident.
Taking the pill irregularly, using condoms badly etc is taking your life in your own hands.
Not using contraception and chancing it is just irresponsible or trying to have a baby without actually discussing it. Laws of averages state that you'll loose the game at some point.

Then there are the loons who stop taking the pill/stab holes in condoms is play the 'accident card'

I'm 29 and I've never had a scare let alone take a pregnancy test to rule it out.

expatinscotland Wed 03-Jul-13 19:18:04

There are many many accidents on MN.

HeffalumpTheFlump Wed 03-Jul-13 19:18:01

One of my DH's friends had to take the father of her baby to court because he did not believe he was the father. They had never had sex, but he was the only person she had had any sexual contact with. She paid for a private DNA and he accused her of faking it. Finally it was proven in court that he was the father. I have to admit I would be pretty dubious in that situation too!! Now that's definitely an accidental pregnancy!!

Solari Wed 03-Jul-13 18:58:48

Accidental pregnancy without sex is indeed possible, although very rare. All it takes is for Ingredient A (sperm) to meet Ingredient B (egg), and the little swimmers can be quite lively. A drop or two transferred via finger to the vagina (or even in close proximity), can quite happily make their way all the way up into the womb given helpful (moist) conditions.

Rare though!

Gooeyhead Wed 03-Jul-13 18:43:45

I'm in the "have sex you run the risk of getting pregnant" camp... I don't think "accidental pregnancy" is the right wording here; listening to your stories then I'd say "a shock/surprise pregnancy" rather than an accident!!

ComposHat Wed 03-Jul-13 18:28:46

Stupidest comment ever as a result of 'surprise' pregnancy: my husband was getting a vasectomy next week. A bit like driving a car with no brakes and saying 'I was going to get them fixed next week' when the inevitable crash happens.

This was from an intelligent woman too.

honeytea Wed 03-Jul-13 18:27:26

Courgette that is amazing! I would have called him Jesus if that had happened to me!

courgetteDOTcom Wed 03-Jul-13 17:54:00

I'm not saying we were holding hands and kissing, but from my last period to when I got pregnant we hadn't had sex, I had enough scans to know dates were exactly right from my last period. You can get pregnant without PIV.

olidusUrsus Wed 03-Jul-13 17:37:52

Courgette, are you seriously saying you didn't have sex but managed to conceive a child?

courgetteDOTcom Wed 03-Jul-13 16:22:59

Can I just point out, we weren't having sex (yes he's his!) with my youngest, not even withdrawal. I'm convinced we get pregnant by discussing it. He's just way too fertile!

ICBINEG Wed 03-Jul-13 12:23:09

If you are using contraceptives as intended then a pregnancy is an accident in the same way that a car accident is an accident.

You cannot have a car accident without leaving you house, so you make a deliberate decision to do is still an accident if something happens.

peanutMD Wed 03-Jul-13 12:19:28

I was a pill/condom failure.
My brother was a coil failure.
My sister was planned BUT her ID twin was not grin

YummyYummyYum Wed 03-Jul-13 12:13:35

Accidents happen. My MIL says she had 3 accidents. One regular pill, second coil, and 3rd mini pill. Only 1st one planned. She had a hysterectomy after the 4th. She did not want to take more risks.

foreverondiet Wed 03-Jul-13 06:57:30

A lot of accidents aren't really accidents - but sloppy use contraceptives but yes some extremely fertile couples do get pregnant by accident even when using contraception.

Orangebirdonatable Wed 03-Jul-13 06:41:14

I agree that many of these stories are not accidental pregnanies.

I had an unplanned pregnancy when using the withdrawal method. It was not an accident.

courgetteDOTcom Wed 03-Jul-13 02:36:05

Eldest stepson was a condom failure. My first pregnancy was on the pill. My most recent we weren't even having sex blush confused which proves my theory we get pregnant by talking about it! I made the mistake of pointing out my period was two weeks before our wedding and we would have a honeymoon baby... 6 months later along comes our baby. By dates I was pregnant two days before the wedding. I was starving him because we're too fertile for him not to get the snip (thrombophiliac so limited options) he only has himself to blame that a year later he still hadn't been donehmm when I've been trying to get him there 5 years.

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