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To ask you where to bury/hide the body

(53 Posts)
FrustratedSycamoresRocks Mon 01-Jul-13 19:55:53

Since I'm not going to LTB, I have cryogenically frozen DH until a cure for annoy-the-wife-itus is found. In the meantime where can I bury/hide him that won't raise suspicions?


RollerCola Wed 03-Jul-13 07:43:17

Hire him out for Ann Summers parties?

LimitedEditionLady Wed 03-Jul-13 07:37:07

Just stand him at your window so people know theres always someone in.

FanjoPaterson Wed 03-Jul-13 06:56:25

All I'd do is buckle him into the passenger seat of the car, drive out into the middle of the Northern Territory, travel off the road for a good twenty kilometres, open the door and <push>

However, if we're going for retrievable, I'd take him to the museum, dress him in an appropriate period costume and place him in one of the glass cabinets.
After, of course, shaving his beard and cutting his ponytail into the appropriate styles.

badbride Wed 03-Jul-13 06:41:24

among. Sorry

badbride Wed 03-Jul-13 06:41:09

In the House of Lords, preferably amont the Lords Spiritual. He'll fit right in grin

AudrinaAdare Wed 03-Jul-13 01:25:08

"I have the perfect spot for when dp finally tips me over the edge" grin

SummerRain that sounds wonderful. If I win the lottery I will be looking for just such a feature when house-hunting.

AudrinaAdare Wed 03-Jul-13 01:19:43

I think you either need to eat all the evidence (pets can help) or unfreeze him and have him fall off a bridge. Hiding bodies is very tricky.

I have the perfect spot for when dp finally tips me over the edge. There's a copse of trees near us with two really deep ponds. No one ever goes there so even if he floated up the chances of him being found are miniscule.

Not that I've thought about this a lot or anything <whistles innocently>

amazingmumof6 Wed 03-Jul-13 01:05:45

can you shape him then throw a blanket over him and use him as a chair or table etc.

if you freeze him while he is horny you can use him as a lawn game, throwing little hoops onto his manwood.

quoteunquote Tue 02-Jul-13 11:34:45

I do actually know the guy who made them for the artist.

timidviper Tue 02-Jul-13 00:14:24

Buy a suit of armour, pop him in it, stand him in the hallway and pretend you live in a stately home

Needtostopbuyingcrap Tue 02-Jul-13 00:10:55

Use him as a washing line prop, a door stop etc... The list is endless.

amazingmumof6 Tue 02-Jul-13 00:02:38

wherever - but the key is to hide it in plain sight.

amazingmumof6 Tue 02-Jul-13 00:02:01


amazingmumof6 Tue 02-Jul-13 00:00:24


lookoveryourshouldernow Mon 01-Jul-13 23:55:49

... the way things are going you will only need just a little DNA from him - steal it while he is not looking and recycle the rest !!!

Your biggest problem will be to work out whether he is vegetable, mineral or animal - so you can recycle him appropriately - around here the recycling operatives are a little sniffy about putting stuff in the wrong bins...

You could always make him into a diamond though after capturing the DNA - that's if you get fed up of dusting the corpse.

..but by then they may even have mastered the art of doctoring DNA to remove any annoying traits.... and you can then just specify those attributes that you need/want ...

MortifiedAdams Mon 01-Jul-13 23:46:39

Six feet under a dead dog. Police dogs will pick up a scent, a dead dog will be dug up and no one will think to look deeper. Mwah ha ha.

«scares self»

FrustratedSycamoresRocks Mon 01-Jul-13 23:46:02

Wow quote. What are they; giant jelly babies? And where so I find one?

quoteunquote Mon 01-Jul-13 23:44:09

Inside one of these babies

Then you can put him where ever you want.

FrustratedSycamoresRocks Mon 01-Jul-13 23:17:14

letsfaceit if it was possible to train him I'd have managed in already.

Hmm graveyard is an idea.

Cupboard under the stairs... Aka the garage.. Not enough room with all the crap he still hasn't cleaned out from there.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Mon 01-Jul-13 21:33:34

Just donate him. There are lots of single women out there who'd be glad of the chance/still have the enegy to train him up.

If he's too atrocious to inflict on others, freeze him in a sitting position and LTB on a bus.

FayeKorgasm Mon 01-Jul-13 21:23:58

Mine's going in our septic tankgrin

marriedinwhiteagain Mon 01-Jul-13 21:21:24

Cupboard under the stairs.

ChasingDogs Mon 01-Jul-13 21:19:13

I was going to suggest the obvious "feed to pigs and muck spread the results over several acres" or "drop in a slurry pit". That might be a little permanent though if you're planning on defrosting him.

Are you sure you want to save him for later?

Binkyridesagain Mon 01-Jul-13 21:15:20

Wouldn't he begin to defrost if left in the open? It would make a right mess if he dripped all over the carpet.

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