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To ask you where to bury/hide the body

(53 Posts)
FrustratedSycamoresRocks Mon 01-Jul-13 19:55:53

Since I'm not going to LTB, I have cryogenically frozen DH until a cure for annoy-the-wife-itus is found. In the meantime where can I bury/hide him that won't raise suspicions?


headlesslambrini Mon 01-Jul-13 21:09:41

Do you like Christmas? If so, then stick some tinsel on him, a couple of baubles, a fairy on top and a string of lights flashing grin

At least he won't drop any needles and you can tell your friends that you are road-testing the very latest in Christmas trees for next year.

ICantRememberWhatSheSaid Mon 01-Jul-13 21:11:35

How about in a cemetery right under their noses and all that...

McNewPants2013 Mon 01-Jul-13 21:12:14

sending him busking as a living statue, may as well make some money while he is frozen

Binkyridesagain Mon 01-Jul-13 21:15:20

Wouldn't he begin to defrost if left in the open? It would make a right mess if he dripped all over the carpet.

ChasingDogs Mon 01-Jul-13 21:19:13

I was going to suggest the obvious "feed to pigs and muck spread the results over several acres" or "drop in a slurry pit". That might be a little permanent though if you're planning on defrosting him.

Are you sure you want to save him for later?

marriedinwhiteagain Mon 01-Jul-13 21:21:24

Cupboard under the stairs.

FayeKorgasm Mon 01-Jul-13 21:23:58

Mine's going in our septic tankgrin

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Mon 01-Jul-13 21:33:34

Just donate him. There are lots of single women out there who'd be glad of the chance/still have the enegy to train him up.

If he's too atrocious to inflict on others, freeze him in a sitting position and LTB on a bus.

FrustratedSycamoresRocks Mon 01-Jul-13 23:17:14

letsfaceit if it was possible to train him I'd have managed in already.

Hmm graveyard is an idea.

Cupboard under the stairs... Aka the garage.. Not enough room with all the crap he still hasn't cleaned out from there.

quoteunquote Mon 01-Jul-13 23:44:09

Inside one of these babies

Then you can put him where ever you want.

FrustratedSycamoresRocks Mon 01-Jul-13 23:46:02

Wow quote. What are they; giant jelly babies? And where so I find one?

MortifiedAdams Mon 01-Jul-13 23:46:39

Six feet under a dead dog. Police dogs will pick up a scent, a dead dog will be dug up and no one will think to look deeper. Mwah ha ha.

«scares self»

lookoveryourshouldernow Mon 01-Jul-13 23:55:49

... the way things are going you will only need just a little DNA from him - steal it while he is not looking and recycle the rest !!!

Your biggest problem will be to work out whether he is vegetable, mineral or animal - so you can recycle him appropriately - around here the recycling operatives are a little sniffy about putting stuff in the wrong bins...

You could always make him into a diamond though after capturing the DNA - that's if you get fed up of dusting the corpse.

..but by then they may even have mastered the art of doctoring DNA to remove any annoying traits.... and you can then just specify those attributes that you need/want ...

amazingmumof6 Tue 02-Jul-13 00:00:24


amazingmumof6 Tue 02-Jul-13 00:02:01


amazingmumof6 Tue 02-Jul-13 00:02:38

wherever - but the key is to hide it in plain sight.

Needtostopbuyingcrap Tue 02-Jul-13 00:10:55

Use him as a washing line prop, a door stop etc... The list is endless.

timidviper Tue 02-Jul-13 00:14:24

Buy a suit of armour, pop him in it, stand him in the hallway and pretend you live in a stately home

quoteunquote Tue 02-Jul-13 11:34:45

I do actually know the guy who made them for the artist.

amazingmumof6 Wed 03-Jul-13 01:05:45

can you shape him then throw a blanket over him and use him as a chair or table etc.

if you freeze him while he is horny you can use him as a lawn game, throwing little hoops onto his manwood.

I have the perfect spot for when dp finally tips me over the edge. There's a copse of trees near us with two really deep ponds. No one ever goes there so even if he floated up the chances of him being found are miniscule.

Not that I've thought about this a lot or anything <whistles innocently>

AudrinaAdare Wed 03-Jul-13 01:19:43

I think you either need to eat all the evidence (pets can help) or unfreeze him and have him fall off a bridge. Hiding bodies is very tricky.

AudrinaAdare Wed 03-Jul-13 01:25:08

"I have the perfect spot for when dp finally tips me over the edge" grin

SummerRain that sounds wonderful. If I win the lottery I will be looking for just such a feature when house-hunting.

badbride Wed 03-Jul-13 06:41:09

In the House of Lords, preferably amont the Lords Spiritual. He'll fit right in grin

badbride Wed 03-Jul-13 06:41:24

among. Sorry

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