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To have a drink on a Saturday night?

(41 Posts)
fber Sat 29-Jun-13 20:11:43

We very, very rarely go out. I'm gregarious, he's not. I accept this (after all I married him, and I do love him.

All around us are couples with kids (ours are 5 & 4) who are enjoying an active social life and sometimes they get babysitters or the kids stay with grandparents. We NEVER do this (never).

I didn't even get a honeymoon - holidays are weekends at his families holiday chalet- the kids love it but me, I am bored to tears of it sad (am I ungrateful?)

He comes home just now (works 6 days a week so out all day saturday, another pisser, not his fault admittedly but his work is a damn sight easier than looking after two kids!) and has a go at me for having opened a bottle of wine and had half a bottle sad He doesn't drink (well very rarely and not much)

I now feel guilty for having the wine, even though I'm fine, and in control. He's made me feel like an alky! I suppose it is a bit sad though, drinking alone.

My question is, AIBU to have the wine? In my defence, at the end of a hard Saturday with the kids I'm just so stressed, and with no prospect of socialising I'm just so bored sad

AIBU?

Sharptic Sat 29-Jun-13 20:31:54

I do the same most sat nights, as a treat :-) . And if I'm alone, even better!

I think you should enjoy and relax.

minibmw2010 Sat 29-Jun-13 21:16:58

Ignore him! He can be 90 if he wants but don't let him suck all your life out of you !!!

CreatureRetorts Sat 29-Jun-13 21:18:16

YANBU

You and he need to have words. Things aren't right.

GetStuffezd Sat 29-Jun-13 21:18:17

You have done nothing wrong. Nothing.

hattyyellow Sat 29-Jun-13 21:19:28

Could you not go out with friends, without your husband?

Nottalotta Sat 29-Jun-13 21:19:46

Nope yanbu. My H rarely drinks and we don't have kids but also rarely go out - similar circs to you really. I go out with friends more often but still not often. I drank a bottle of wine last night, half of it after he went to bed. Lovely!

WhoNickedMyName Sat 29-Jun-13 21:20:08

Christ he sounds grim... you've got another 50 or so years of this to look forward to? Drink the wine and contemplate that thought.

Squitten Sat 29-Jun-13 21:20:15

YANBU. Having a drink on a weekend is not a crime!

Nice glass of chilled white wine and a chunk of chocolate sat in front of a DVD would be ideal for me right now. Not that I'm pregnant and bitter or anything... envy

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Sat 29-Jun-13 21:20:48

Yanbu. Your life sounds very hard and dull. Nothing at all wrong with drinking wine on a Saturday. Finish the bottle and try to enjoy your night. How about going out more with friends? You need some entertainment in life. You only get one life. Please yourself.

Smartieaddict Sat 29-Jun-13 21:21:41

No you have done nothing wrong. It sounds like you need to start going out on your own. Fair enough if DH doesn't like socialising, but you sound like you need some sort of social life!

IceAddict Sat 29-Jun-13 21:22:29

Next time tell him thats your second bottle! Nothing wrong with a drink on a sat night wink

mrsjay Sat 29-Jun-13 21:23:08

there is nothing wrong in having a glass or 2 of wine on a saturday NOTHING your husband sounds a bit straight laced and anal buttoned up, just because he rarely drinks or doesnt go out doesnt mean you need to be the same, talk to him and I do think he is being a bit over vearing and in command of family life take control a bit organise stuff to do, it shouldn't all be up to him what you all do,

mrsjay Sat 29-Jun-13 21:23:30

over bearing*

squoosh Sat 29-Jun-13 21:24:53

Bloody hell YANBU.

It's one thing him not being particularly sociable but that doesn't mean he gets to dictate the terms upon which you live your lives.

He needs to make more of an effort or you need to start going out with your friends.

GajarHalwa Sat 29-Jun-13 21:25:53

How dare he make you feel like you have a drinking problem. Grrr. Ignore him, you are doing nothing wrong. Sit back, relax and give yourself a break

Pinkflipflop Sat 29-Jun-13 21:26:57

List 3 things you love about him?

cardibach Sat 29-Jun-13 21:28:06

YANBU. He is. Please don't let him stop you socialising - if he doesn't want to go out, great. It means you have a baby sitter so you can go out smile
I am a lone parent - I drink alone as there isn't much choice. I don't have a problem.

mrsjay Sat 29-Jun-13 21:28:40

Oh and I drink alone mostly DH works most weekends so he doesnt drink a lot drinking alone doesnt make you sad or an alky

Ledkr Sat 29-Jun-13 21:28:55

Good job he's not married to me then!
Dear god op get a life ASAP you may live to regret it as might he!!

Ledkr Sat 29-Jun-13 21:29:48

No mrsj it makes you happy it does grin

fulltimeworkingmum Sat 29-Jun-13 21:37:25

My DH has been at work all day and was home for precisely one hour and twenty minutes before he departed for some bollocks work event they are sponsoring. I have drunk an ENTIRE bottle of wine and do not feel remotely contrite. I have spent the whole day supervising a community event and minding our DC's( 7 and 5), who were angelic, I have to say. This is the fourth night this week that he has had a work event( and no, he is not playing away, it is all community stuff) but I am more than a little irritated when he gets annoyed that I have had a bit to drink on a bloody Saturday night. I work all sodding week and bring in 3 times what he earns.
Sorry...slight rant but OP touched a nerve( and you are absolutely NBU)and I don't like the insinuation that I am a lush.

SnoopyLovesYou Sat 29-Jun-13 21:38:01

I only read the last person's post. I don't think telling her to 'get a life' is supportive or helpful!

I do think that you should pay a babysitter and get out as much as possible!

Jengnr Sat 29-Jun-13 21:38:35

Tell him to fuck off. smile

dontgowadingin Sat 29-Jun-13 21:47:01

OMG are you me??

Similar Circ! DH dosnt drink hardly, makes me feel bad if I do. He dosnt mind if I want to go out, but if I have a glass of wine, or a voddie and lemonade I can practically see him staring at me from his thronechair.

My cousin has a summer house where her and her Dh get pissed/play darts/cards if its warm or cold as they have heaters.Every Saturday Its like a little pub!, her eldest (15) babysits for pocket money. I am jealous

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