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To think that 8 p.m. is too late for children to eat their tea?

(184 Posts)
whatever5 Sat 29-Jun-13 19:15:18

Dh cooks tea for us all on Saturday (I cook during the week) and as usual he is outside having a beer in the garden at 7 p.m. rather than getting on with cooking.

He can't see the problem and thinks that I am being unreasonable and "controlling" to be annoyed that the children (age 9 and 12) won't get any food until 8 p.m.

Am I being unreasonable?

BsshBossh Sun 30-Jun-13 19:51:07

I agree that weekends = more flexible routine but in this case (taking all your posts into consideration) your DH sounds a bit uptight, perhaps even a bit controlling.

merrymouse Sun 30-Jun-13 19:07:58

On the table at some point during the evening, probably within a 2-3 hour window.

Which flat mate needs to pull his finger out?

merrymouse Sun 30-Jun-13 19:06:37

Or allan 4 flat mates cook for each other on a rota. 3 take into account everybody else's timetable and reliably put food on the table when expected.

The 4th flat mate thinks that's just too bourgeois and boring and he puts food

luxemburgerli Sun 30-Jun-13 14:53:30

Of course they COULD have a late lunch on a Saturday, or the OP COULD organise a snack/cook herself.

Or, the easiest solution: her DH could just start cooking a bit earlier and have his beer after.

Shitsinger Sun 30-Jun-13 13:30:01

The OP said it was 8pm and then it turned into 8.40pm
Dinner readyat 8pm with DC that age is not too bad but clearly he is doing it to be a pain- no one else is happy with the arrangement.

What are you going to do OP ?

TheDoctrineOfAllan Sun 30-Jun-13 13:22:42

Four friends want to go out for dinner.

Three of them want to eat at 7pm, one of them at 9pm.

The one who wants to eat at 9pm insists the other three do it their way, no compromise on a time in between or acknowledging they are outnumbered.

Who is the unreasonable one?

AaDB Sun 30-Jun-13 12:40:10

That should be one person wants dinner much later than the rest of the family.

AaDB Sun 30-Jun-13 12:39:01

This is about a passive aggressive adult making a point of making dinner later than the rest of the family.

It's not a snack they need, it's dinner.

Op's oh is bu and selfish.

I also need to know what they had for dinner and how long it took too make (nosy).

ByTheSea Sun 30-Jun-13 12:20:25

That is our normal dinnertime.

ExcuseTypos Sun 30-Jun-13 12:12:25

I don't think it's the children in this situation, who are the problem. I'm sure they'd 'adjust' to different routines-AS LONG AS THEY WERE ALLOWED TO EAT A SNACK.

Sorry for shouting but people seem to be missing the main point. Their Father doesn't want them eating snacks, so everyone is hungry.

forevergreek Sun 30-Jun-13 11:40:21

No but 9-12 year olds an generally cope with being awake for more than 12 hours a day.

We have a very non scheduled lifestyle as both work here in uk/ sometimes from home/ sometimes abroad. Our children although young have adapted very well to different routines according to day/ location.

I suppose some children find it harder If used to something very different.

WellHmmm Sun 30-Jun-13 11:37:37

They'll live.

insanityscratching Sun 30-Jun-13 11:31:32

No naps here but dd aged 10 loves a late bedtime it was midnight last night and she got up at 10.30 I think at 9 and 12 most children can cope with a change to their daily routine without too much trauma.

merrymouse Sun 30-Jun-13 11:27:03

Sorry, 9 and 12 year olds.

merrymouse Sun 30-Jun-13 11:26:38

9 and 10 year olds don't tend to nap during the day.

forevergreek Sun 30-Jun-13 11:20:55

Ok... We must be the worlds worse parents by this thread!

We don't get home until 7pm so v rarely eat before 8pm

Last night we had a 9pm reservation at a japanese restaurant. We left at 11pm. Kids are 2 and 3 years. They loved it, and were very well behaved. They had napped and eaten at appropriate times during the day to allow later eating/ bed.

Surely it just depends on the day schedule of child? Yesterday ours woke at 9.30am, ate breakfast around 10am. Lunch 3pm, napped 3.30-6pm. Therefore eating at 9pm with 11.30pm bed seems perfectly fine. They just woke around 30 mins ago, and eating eggs now smile

Shitsinger Sun 30-Jun-13 11:16:45

Snazzy no one is competing- it was just a suggestion to try to resolve the situation.
I have older DC and so we are more relaxed about mealtimes ,more so than when they were little and age 2 or 3 when meltdown would have occurred.
However it does seem that the DH is being a dick and deliberately make the whole thing "about him" and as you say "his precious masterpiece"
Why do some men need applause and everyone going "wow" just because they cooked a bloody meal!

Jengnr Sun 30-Jun-13 11:10:33

If they got up late, had their dinner at, say, 2.30 I don't think 8 is too late for tea.

If they had their dinner at 12 then they'd need summat in between. I still don't think 8 is too late though - they're old enough to grab a bag of crisps or a banana or whatever.

insanityscratching Sun 30-Jun-13 11:10:27

We eat late on a Saturday, dd 10 didn't eat until 9pm along with the rest of us. It's what makes it a weekend, late getting up, cooked brunch instead of cereal and toast for breakfast, high tea instead of dinner and a late supper and a late bed time. I'd just be happy that dh was cooking and adjust other meals accordingly rather than getting stressed tbh.

Snazzywaitingforsummer Sun 30-Jun-13 11:08:18

continued - Did he have to catch the fish himself? Tell him in future you will get the kids to make a sandwich for themselves if there's no food by say 7.30 and his precious masterpiece will go in the bin.

Snazzywaitingforsummer Sun 30-Jun-13 11:06:28

Amazed at people competing to be the most 'relaxed' and 'Mediterranean' about how they spend their weekends! That's all fine if it's what you want but it isn't a virtue in its own right, and definitely not if one person is passive-aggressively making three others wait and get hungry for two hours later than usual while he sits having a beer. I know who I think is being controlling in this scenario!

Also, where are all the posters usually insisting that partners share the cooking 50-50? This guy cooks ONCE a week when the OP does the rest, and everyone is telling her to leave him alone / get the kids to do it / do it herself if she's not happy? Why shouldn't he be expected to do more and to consider the needs of his family? Next people will be telling her to be grateful he cooks at all!

OP - first, YANBU, and second, two hours for fish and chips? Did if

kelda Sun 30-Jun-13 11:00:24

I would be annoyed. Why can't he relax and drink his beer after dinner? That's what most parents do.

Bowlersarm Sun 30-Jun-13 10:59:37

How about having a later lunch on a Saturday to fit in with a later evening meal? (Apologies if that has already been suggested)

ExcuseTypos Sun 30-Jun-13 10:59:08

Well there's your answer OP

Tell him that the dc are being wingey about being hungry every Saturday evening, things have to change. He either starts cooking around 6.30 or they have a snack and then won't eat his lovely food. It's his choice.

Shitsinger Sun 30-Jun-13 10:57:16

He sounds like an arse.

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