Advanced search

to feel sorry for children whose parents smoke?

(188 Posts)
strawberry34 Sat 29-Jun-13 14:11:38

I was walking through the park today and saw a couple sitting with their baby, they were both smoking whilst baby was next to them inhaling their fumes. I felt sorry for the child, for years it's been known that smoking is bad for everyone and passive smoking is dangerous.

It's also known that having a parent who is a smoker increases your likelihood of becoming a smoker when you grow up. I know there will be human rights people who object to me judging parents who smoke, but I do feel sorry for their children. Surely quitting smoking is a small price to pay for your children's future health, it's not like health advice on smoking has changed recently, campaigns have gone on for decades warning of the damage, there are no benefits as far as I can see.

MoominsYonisAreScary Sat 29-Jun-13 15:47:31

My parents smoked it didn't bother me one bit growing up. They were fantastic parents, couldn't have wished for better.

crumblepie Sat 29-Jun-13 15:55:04

pompeii you clearly did not understand my post , never mind smile funny how all these studies and statistics are done but you never know of or hear about anyone who has ever taken part , strange , almost like they make it up smile

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 29-Jun-13 15:57:13


The phrase "there are lies,damned lies and statistics" springs to mind grin

HeySoulSister Sat 29-Jun-13 15:58:46

By being obese you are modelling that its ok to eat crap/sugar and its ok to be fat and putting yourself at risk. Chances are your dc are eating the same.... Which is the same as them breathing in second hand smoke

Ouch. Do two wrongs make a right, though?

I could go into the long explanation about the depression I've suffered since I was 14, and how that has affected my weight, and my ability to diet, or how the antidepressants I am on have the side effect of weight gain, but I am guessing you wouldn't care.

expatinscotland Sat 29-Jun-13 16:07:41

My parents smoked when I was growing up. It didn't bother me at all. They are both still here. My dad hates that he is still here and his little granddaughter is not.

Obesity has caught up to, and in quite a few parts of the US, overtaken smoking as a leading preventable cause of death. We are not far behind.

Do you feel sorry for children of obese parents?

Those who say their weight doesn't affect their children's health are fooling themselves. Obesity is known to increase birth complications. And kill you, the mother, prematurely. Children of obese parents are more likely to become obese themselves.

But if anyone started a thread like this and inserted 'fat' for smoking the site would go afire.

HeySoulSister Sat 29-Jun-13 16:08:04

SDT.... Sorry!! Wasn't having a go at you there. Weight is a battle I have fought too. I sympathise.

pompeii Sat 29-Jun-13 16:08:16

Ah good, it appears the conspiracy theorists who think studies that show the negative affects of smoking are fabricated have joined, the debate is sure to become more sensible now.

expatinscotland Sat 29-Jun-13 16:09:19

And smoking is second only to heroin in terms of physical addiction. But they can just quit, right? Just like obese people can just lose weight.

Having watched my mum try to stop, I wouldn't say that, expat.

pompeii Sat 29-Jun-13 16:16:08

Having a parental influence introducing significant food/weight issues to a child is clearly not a good thing, but this thread is about smoking, and I'm not sure who has said parental issues with food are not harmful on it. Seems like a rather lame straw man.

flowersinavase Sat 29-Jun-13 16:18:19

Wow - some very angry smokers on here.

OP YANBU. I feel very sorry for them too. Not just because of the effects on their own health but for the fact that their selfish parents are more likely to die than non-smokers.

And yes. I feel sorry for children of obese parents too. And those who are abused. And those who live in war zones. Just because there are potentially worse situations to grow up in doesn't mean we can't feel sympathy for those forced to live surrounded by carcinogens.

ballroomblitz Sat 29-Jun-13 16:19:25

Oh please I care for my kids, play with them, read to them, support them in their school studies, cook them home cooked meals from scratch nine times out of ten yet you feel sorry for them because I smoke ( outside btw and never when out and about with them)?? Not like back in the day when I was a child of a smoker and it was the social norm to smoke everywhere - buses, planes, banks etc. Fwiw neither me or my siblings ever had any chest problems as kids.

Smokers need support to kick a very addictive habit, not criticism and people looking down their noses at them.

Ballroomblitz - it would have significantly improved my life if my parents had been as considerate as you and others on this thread.

People are having children at older ages nowadays. If you smoke and have a child at age 20 then you're very unlikely to die of the effects while they are still a child. If you smoke and have a child at age 40 then the risks of bereavement become much more real. But on the upside the risks are largely dose dependent and it's very difficult nowadays to smoke 60 a day like many people did in the sixties unless you work from home and are filthy rich.

HeySoulSister Sat 29-Jun-13 16:40:43

I don't think majority of smokers are actually 'addicted'.... But it's easy for them to bandy that word around isnt it? Much easier to give up and quote 'addiction' than to deal with it and give up

I once thought I was 'addicted' to caffeine.... I wasn't
I once thought I was 'addicted' to sugar.........I wasn't

It was a good excuse to not stop tho

expatinscotland Sat 29-Jun-13 16:41:42

A lame straw man? PMSL. Lot of hard science behind it.

I don't smoke.

This thread isn't about smoking, it's about ridiculous judging that is, on MN, permitted whereas similar remarks about the parallel cause of premature deat, fat, are not.

expatinscotland Sat 29-Jun-13 16:44:15

Addiction to nicotine has been studied extensively. It is very real. Not at all comparable to sugar or caffeine but most similar to heroin addiction. I guess those people just think they are addicted, too. They can just give up.

WorraLiberty Sat 29-Jun-13 16:47:53

Having a parental influence introducing significant food/weight issues to a child is clearly not a good thing, but this thread is about smoking, and I'm not sure who has said parental issues with food are not harmful on it. Seems like a rather lame straw man.

People still don't get it.

It's not just about 'introducing significant food/weight issues to a child'

By getting pregnant when you are overweight/obese, you increase so many risks to your unborn child...that's before they're even out of the womb.

Yet pregnant smokers and smokers with children will always have the finger pointed at them.

And it's often pointed by people who had no problem increasing health risks to their own babies.

KirjavaTheCat Sat 29-Jun-13 16:58:19

I remember feeling pretty fucking sorry for myself growing up, my endless chest infections and acute asthma, going into school reeking of smoke and being sniffed at by teachers. Paying enough attention to know that the smoke was the reason I felt so poorly, asking my mum and dad to stop and being told that they'll do what they want in their own house, thankyouverymuch.

But yabu. Because there are plenty of parents who know that breathing in smoke is harmful to their children, and go to great lengths to ensure that they never have to. Don't tar everyone with the same brush.

But I also know for a fact that children are still being brought up, despite all the evidence of the effects, in the same way that I was. And yes I do feel sorry for those children, especially if they're suffering the same way I did and their parents don't give a shit. Not only because of the smoking, but also because if their parents can recognise that they're damaging their children's health and be ok with that, then they're likely to be shit parents all round. Mine were. The smoking was just a single aspect of their neglect.

hamilton75 Sat 29-Jun-13 17:03:25

YANBU As someone who lost a parent to a horrible death from lung cancer at a relatively young age I feel sorry for all the children of parents who smoke.

Lol at the comments from smokers who consider themselves great parents - delusional much!

You can't ever be great parents until you have the guts to acknowledge your own selfishness takes priority over the love for your children. No if or buts but truth hurts.

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 29-Jun-13 17:05:52


I am sorry for your loss.

Do you feel the same about drinking alcohol and obesity,out of interest? I'm not trying to goad you, I'm just interested.

My nanna smoked, my mum didn't. My did doesn't either.

Out of 3 siblings old enough to smoke I'm the only one that does.

Two family members have died from cancer in my family. One had lung, throat and mouth cancer the other had skin cancer. Neither smoked, drank, went out in the sun or used sunbeds etc yet they got it and died.

Therefore if death is going to get me it will no matter what I do. That is my opinion so this 'you will die younger, get cancer etc' does not phase me.

My son does not need pity. I dont smoke around him or have him light up for me. I also dont smoke in the house.

AntlersInAllOfMyDecorating Sat 29-Jun-13 17:06:58

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now