Just musing really. Am I alone in finding it very odd where one adult in a couple/family seems to have no idea about their family finances?
This mainly came into my head because a friend and her DH have recently gone bankrupt and she had no idea money was even tight because he looked after all their family finances and she was happy for him to do so as she has no head for figures!
There are other example in RL and on these boards though. So many people seem to have no idea what their partner's earn (even ballpark figure) or how much disposable income they have as a family. (so have no idea what it's reasonable to spend so don't know if there partners are just being mean!).
Of course some partners are controlling but in the majority of cases I've seen personally, they are happy to share the information but the other partner is not interested.
I manage our family finances because I am anal and like spreadsheets DH is happy for me to do this. But we discuss them freely and both have a clear idea about what we can afford, what we can't, how much we are saving etc.
AIBU?
to wonder why some people have no idea about family finances
redskyatnight · 29/06/2013 08:29
'Tbh I've long since given up trying to understand other relationships and their dynamic.'
And with the wisest words on MN spoken, the site collapses! 
W have separate accounts. No joint account at all. Your DH has to ask you if he can take money out and how much 
. And neither would I expect to have to ask my DH if I could spend some money. However we have no secrets and no debts. But no, the day I had to ask my DH if I could spend the money I have earned would be the day I packed my bags to leave.
My h used to do all the finances, when we moved here to Oz. Not any more as he was hiding things, and always moaning we didn't have the money for this and that. He set up a 'housekeeping' account for me. I was persuaded into anything after having dd2 and moving country.
Pre this we had our own accounts which worked well, and I was working and paying bills, and so was he. It seemed to even out. Then I went on maternity with dd2, left my job, emigrated, and fuckwit h thought he was the best at finances. He used to have the gall to ask me where the money went on his big fat belly
We've now got a joint account. And I now say what goes, and what doesn't. He must really hate it, but I don't care, as its not all his if he wants me stuck at home with the kids. We have rented out our house in the Uk which makes a profit. I have seen this account twice in 20 months 
He also has shares in several companies, that he invested in, that I really know nothing about. But know for the past 6 months that it hasn't come from the joint account.
I do however, have a Uk bank account still, and have been claiming back PPI from well before I met him. I'm certainly not sharing that, if he's not sharing his ISA.
I have turned our lives arounf in last few years. We have had all new bathroom, a car, 3 holidays booked for next 18 months 2 of those abroad, and complete damp proofing. I have arranged all that on a combined income of just over 30k without getting in a pennys debt. Dh doesnt think Im abusive, he thinks Im a hero 
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