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AIBU to feel pissed of to come home to find that my MIL has cleaned my house?

(97 Posts)
MissTweed Fri 28-Jun-13 18:36:36

My MIL and I have had the usual kind of relationship over the years, she thinks the sun shines out of her sons arse and I'm not good enough for him. She came to visit yesterday/today and whilst I was at work she cleaned my house. (She has a history of making snidely remarks about cleanliness/cooking etc etc. my DH thinks that I am totally overreacting but I see it as another dig. What are your thoughts?

DIYapprentice Fri 28-Jun-13 19:02:50

If she ever makes the dig about DH cooking all the time, just look at her in surprise and say:

'Why yes, you're right, he does always cook when you're here. You really MUST come more often then, as it's the only time he actually ever does! He really does need to be encouraged to do a bit more, doesn't he!'

MissTweed Fri 28-Jun-13 19:03:30

My DH thinks that I am the one being unreasonable!! He's a mummy's boy and had the nerve to say "well she's got a point, whenever she visits you sit on your arse and I do all the cooking"!! So who does the cooking the other 364 days of the year then??? Guess who's not getting their dinner on the table from now on??

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Fri 28-Jun-13 19:04:14

Why in gods name did you cook for her last night. I'd have told her 'No, DH is cooking. He only does it when you are here, so I'm making the most of it. If you don't like his cooking, feel free to use the kitchen'.

She sounds like a nasty baggage - but hey, the housework is done so you can put your feet up for the weekend. Don't let that get to you, then she hasn't 'won' has she grin

pigletmania Fri 28-Jun-13 19:05:06

Please send her to mine grin

MissTweed Fri 28-Jun-13 19:05:33

To make it all worse....I think I've now got food poisoning?? :0( I've had a blazing row with my DH and I've moved into the spare room. :0(

Colliecollie Fri 28-Jun-13 19:05:48

FGS why did you cook the meal and why did your DH not tell what for? You need to stand up for yourself. Will this be your first baby?

exoticfruits Fri 28-Jun-13 19:06:28

I used to get upset with my MIL doing it but then I realised she just liked it and let her get on with it.

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Fri 28-Jun-13 19:07:36

Oh & as for your DH... words fail me. You had been at work all day, you are 6 months pregnant, he had the day off and he let his mother badger you into cooking?? He would have caught BOTH barrels and he'd be under no illusion he was skating on thin ice if he wanted to live in the same house as his wife & child. This Mummy's Boy shit stops now. Actually - words didn't really fail me, did they grin

Blu Fri 28-Jun-13 19:08:13

Point out the facts to him plain and clear.

I very rarely advise anyone to show a thread to a DH, but it might be an eye opener to him to see how other people see this.

Fill a rucksack with something heavy, tell him to spend an hour on his feet wearing it back to front - i.e on his front, while wearing a pair of shoes a size too small. Then suggest he does a couple of hours cooking and cleaning in a hot room, without sitting down.

And ask him if he still thinks it reasonable that you stand up and cook after a days work while pg.

Jinsei Fri 28-Jun-13 19:08:33

Your DH is being an absolute arse. He had better do some good grovelling!

Hope you haven't really got food poisoning - are you ok?

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Fri 28-Jun-13 19:08:55

Oh your poor thing sad

He is a bloody wimp isn't he.

How much longer is the old baggage staying for?

Kez171271 Fri 28-Jun-13 19:09:29

I babysat for my ex husband and his wife for the weekend. Cleaned their 7 bedroomed mansion from top to bottom.
I was just bored.

Ginderella Fri 28-Jun-13 19:09:41

I think you have bigger problems than MIL cleaning the house.

RiotsNotDiets Fri 28-Jun-13 19:10:49

shock You DH needs to check his attitude, what a wanker.

lurkedtoolong Fri 28-Jun-13 19:10:50

I'd be more pissed off with DH than MIL. Tell him to fuck off home to mummy if that's how he feels. He's a waste of fucking space.

Nanny0gg Fri 28-Jun-13 19:12:44

I don't think the cleaning would have been an issue if she'd been helping your DH with it.
But what on earth possessed the pair of you to give in to her demand that you cook?

TheDoctrineOfAllan Fri 28-Jun-13 19:15:04

Op, saying "you sit on your arse" in the way he did is pretty disrespectful.

Is he usually like that?

Ledkr Fri 28-Jun-13 19:16:03

Why not kill her with kindness?
Buy her sine flowers to say a massive thanks.
If she's being bitchy then it will have been a waste if time.
If helpfull then marvellous and you've said thanks.

DIYapprentice Fri 28-Jun-13 19:17:09

You need to tell your DH that if he doesn't get his act together and do his best to make sure that the two most important women in his life actually develop a good relationship then the person who will suffer the most will be HIM. Because if she is antagonising you, then it will get to the point that you won't have her in the house, and if he kicks up about it, then he would quite likely bloody well follow.

Fairylea Fri 28-Jun-13 19:18:05

I find it the height of rudeness for a guest to request who cooks and what to have. It isn't her place to decide, mil or not.

You definitely need to stand up to her and your dh needs to support you.

CailinDana Fri 28-Jun-13 19:18:25

Your h is a nasty piece of work. Does he do anything around the house?

Euphemia Fri 28-Jun-13 19:18:38

Good lord, my MIL's not allowed to insist on anything that affects what I do, in my house or hers.

Get a backbone!

Euphemia Fri 28-Jun-13 19:19:48

What does your DH do when your mother's visiting?

HighInterestRat Fri 28-Jun-13 19:21:18

Mine does this too. I do see it as a subtle way to undermine me but think I appreciate the free cleaning more so just let her get on with it. Although when I came home to find out she had gone into our clothes basket and taken our dirty washing down to her house to wash and dry because our tumble dryer had given up the ghost I felt that crossed a line somewhat. grin.

diddl Fri 28-Jun-13 19:21:35

I'm torn.

My house could do with a clean.

But, if MIL came to visit & husband was at home with her, he'd be pretty pissed off if she cleaned instead of spending time with him.

As for the cookingshock andangry.

Get him to pull his bloody finger out!

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