Hi mns,
I've been on here for years but have name changed for this.
Don't want to bore you with an essay so going to make a long story short(ish).
I have been with DH for a few years we have 2 DC 3yrs and 5yrs.
My DH has a sister who over the years she was a bit of a nasty cow to me(I'm a decade younger than her and I think she thought she could look down on me and patronise me etc).
Her nastiness got SO bad a couple of years ago I decided to keep her at arms length,ignored her messages or responded with 'a meet up would be great but I'm busy' etc and kept that going for months.
Anyway my SIL has had a child in the last year(even though she never wanted children didn't really like them!)and she seems to have mellowed and made an effort for us and our DC to meet up.
My SIL is in her 30's and she is married to an extremely wealthy man (older than her parents).
She tells me constantly that she is very lucky as she never has to work again(nor does her DH),how she has SO much money and all the time in the world.
On the other hand my situation is VERY different and my DH is struggling.He has been told recently he may be made redundant in 6 weeks.
We have huge money problems and I have spent the past year looking for a p/t job but it has been hard as any potential jobs don't pay enough to justify the cost of childcare.
I have even tried to get night time work(carer jobs) but with no luck.
Anyway earlier this year I confided to SIL about our money problems and debts and how I was desperate to get work but have no 'support network' to help with childcare (I've lived in the area for a few years now and my family live hundreds of miles away).
She said to me that she is willing to look after my little one until he starts nursery this September. She also offered to do the school run for my eldest.
I told her I was applying for 2 day a week or 3 day a week jobs and in the industry I work/ed in most days would be Saturdays and Sundays so it would be just one day a week that she could help me with childcare.
I was so pleased that she offered me the help.For the next 5 months I applied for around 30 jobs.
The whole time we stayed in touch(weekly) and she constantly asked me how my job searching was going, asked me how my 3rd interview went,and so on.
I kept on double checking that she was still willing to help with childcare and she promised she'd help.
Anyway last week was offered a job!
THEN SIL says by text that she 'may' be able to help but only now and again.
My DH asked her to confirm as it was my first day(the other day) she said that can help 'a bit' ??
She ended up having him and we had to pay someone to have my eldest after school.
We texted her to ask how dc had been and she ignored the message.
In the afternoon while we were still at work she left voice messages saying how she was driving around our block checking our house to see if we were in(she'd had enough of looking after him and was having a major tantrum) of course we weren't in we were coming back from work she KNEW our hours she AGREED to have him.
Anyway DH picks up dc and she is upstairs she is fuming (says her dh) he says 'she is so angry at having to look after dc2' and my husband said that she had offered. She has sent messages to us promising that she wants to help us. How she wants to get us out of our financial mess.
How she has all the time and money in the world and that a day of a childcare a week is nothing plus my DC can play with her little one.
I don't understand. She has done this before many years ago when she promised to have our cat and last minute changed her mind. I feel stupid now.
I now have to call my area manager and explain that I can no longer work
She promised and didn't deliver.I deep down knew this would happen a week ago when she found out I had finally been offered a job and she went from 'I promise I'll help you just get a job.I'm there for you I promise' etc to 'oh- well I guess I can help 'a bit' .
She never meant it
Why did she do this?My DH wants to speak to her and tell her that she has wasted our time.
DH did question how helpful she really would be as he thinks they're very selfish and look down on people.
Only recently we were visiting them and were half an hour late when SIL opened the door she started crying.
When we asked her what was wrong she said that her DH couldn't believe that we would be so rude to be so late and so he's driving around the area to see if we've had a crash and died!
Anyway sorry I tried not to make it an essay and I thank you if you got this far!
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AIBU?
To have nothing more to do with my SIL?
46 replies
BacktoSquareOne · 28/06/2013 10:09
OP posts:
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