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Since when did fancying someone start being called an obsession? ?

(8 Posts)
NotDead Wed 26-Jun-13 13:20:33

Just that really.. a few friends have pointed out peopke who fancy them and say 'he has an obsession with me' instead of say a crush or fancies me.

seeing as a friend of mine has just gone through a proper dv thing., this overuse of 'abuse' language for something normal sounds a bit much.

Am I being unreasonable if I correct people who do this?

thebody Wed 26-Jun-13 13:23:07

Don't bother, they sound daft.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 26-Jun-13 13:26:57

Not at all unreasonable.

I would go further. Put on my best shocked voice and begin...

oh my GOD! He's obsessed with you? How long has he been obsessed with you? You poor thing! You know there are anti stalking laws nowadays? Have you been to the police? You have to report this. When someone becomes obsessed with you, they can potentially be very dangerous. Have you noticed him following you? The police can caution him for stalking...

etc etc etc.

Then when they correct you, you sigh with relief and go oh thank GOODNESS! You mean he fancies you. What a relief. Because obsession is a very disturbing thing.

<hard stare>

But this may be why I have no friends. grin So you may want to ease back on the sarcasm. wink

NotDead Wed 26-Jun-13 13:27:04

but the reason I say is that if someone says that someone else has an obsession it sounds like they are saying 'abuser' which seems a dangerous exaggerationto me.. a bit like calling somsomeone flirting a pervert.. I just think a distinction should be made.. maybe you're right not worth the effort.. it just angered me last night for some reason

MamaChubbyLegs Wed 26-Jun-13 13:46:52

ImTooHecsy I'd be your friend! grin

Very few people can tolerate my sarcasm, either. DP just doesn't get sarcasm, which is why he tolerates me, hah!

Back on topic though, people actually say this? hmm And I thought I had an ego! Sounds immature to me.

No-one fancies me envy

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Wed 26-Jun-13 16:43:55

They say 'obsession' rather than 'fancying' because 'fancying' is too light-weight for their egos. They need the full-on, can't think of anybody else obsession to flatter themselves... it matters not that it isn't true.

I wonder if some even take a smile as a sign that somebody fancies-> obsesses over them? shock

<vowing never to smile again emoticon confused>

Mia4 Wed 26-Jun-13 17:25:15

YANBU, the only time it's correct to call someone as being obsessed is if they actually are seriously obsessed aka stalkery and harassing. Since it's several people rather then one worried individual, it sounds like your friends could use a reality check and ywnbu to correct them OP. Agreeing with LyingWitchInTheWardrobe on ego.

The only time I've used anything but fancying or crushing it was 'infatuation' and that was to a friend of mine who had someone infatuated by her-didn't know her, kept pestering her and kept saying he loved her when really he wanted a reason to leave his partner and she wouldn't be that reason. It wasn't on obsessive levels yet, could have gone that way if she hadn't left her workplace and cut him off possibly but it wasn't just a crush, the guy was infatuated and saw my friend as an easy way out rather then the easier way of breaking up.

AuntieStella Wed 26-Jun-13 17:29:09

Since when? Probably earlier than 1984 after the single by Animotion.

It's not necessarily abusive/stalkerish. Just more than a passing fancy.

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