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AIBU?

Why is the infernal cake stall business the job of MUMS?!

58 replies

Chandon · 26/06/2013 11:36

So, in our school y6 mums traditionally run a cake stall every single week for the last term, to raise money for the Y6 day out/celebration.

So.....we started getting organised. Interestingly, most mums in this particular year work, and just do not have the time ( or energy or inclination) to bake and sell cakes every week, at 20p each, so a lot of cakes need to be sold to reach our target.

Some working mums wanted to know if we could maybe just all contribute £40 and be done with it.

I have been thinking why I feel pissed off about the whole set-up, and I think it is the fact that t is not the PARENTS job to fundraise, it is the MUMS' job.

Considering the fact most mums this year work ( and even if they did not!) AIBU to feel angry that it is the women's job to fundraise through a ridiculously unprofitable and interminable cake baking project. WTF? is this the modern world or what?

Or should I just suck it up for the sake of "tradition" and don my apron and bake loads of cakes? I feel really annoyed, nobody expects any of the DADS to give up their time for this pointless exercise.

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wannabeawallaby · 26/06/2013 11:38

So why does it fall to mums? More fool the mums for putting up with it and shame on the dads for not getting involved.

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Chandon · 26/06/2013 11:39

So is it just our school? It is not normal, right?

dads all seem to work too, never seen a dad do cakes or cakestall

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DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper · 26/06/2013 11:39

YANBU.

The cake stall is the most inefficient profit-turner known to man - and women, natch - kind.

And I say this as someone who likes to bake. For myself to eat.

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MalcolmTuckersMum · 26/06/2013 11:40

More fool anyone who sells a decent home made cake for 20p. How on earth do you hope to raise money like that - and indeed - isn't it almost a criminal waste of money when you could probably do so much better from a similar investment. Work out what it actually costs you to make the cakes and weep at the loss you're making!

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Ziggyzoom · 26/06/2013 11:40

Does anyone actually dictate that it is mums only though. If it has just worked out that way then why don't you just buck the trend and have the dad of your household do the baking. I know if this was our school, wild horses wouldn't keep DH away from the cake stall and he would be quite happy to knock out a few lemon drizzles!

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MalcolmTuckersMum · 26/06/2013 11:42

Ha! Cross posts with Don - good to know it's not just me. Truly - find a better way of raising money - or increase the price of your cake. Otherwise you'd be better off buying a pack of Jammie Dodgers and selling them for 20p.

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Chandon · 26/06/2013 11:43

DH is never back from work in time ( teacher at a school half an hour away)

I am not sure it HAS to be mums, but it just always IS.

My anger is indeed about the fact it has to be the women, as well as the fact that it is just unbelievably inefficient a way to raise money.

But we cannot raise prices as, apparently, people ( ie the parents who do not bake but just consume) would be upset.

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Startail · 26/06/2013 11:43

You need to do a mix of events.
Here many mum's work, but it's the dad's who do long hours because so many commute.

Thus mum's do cakes and DHs run bars, BBQs, put up gazebos, run side shows and firework displays at weekend and evening events.

Yes the mums still do more as the help at everything, but we do try and remind the DH/DPs that they are their children too!

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kim147 · 26/06/2013 11:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ManAliveThisThingsFantastic · 26/06/2013 11:46

Who says its for only women? Or have you just assumed it is in a valiant effort to look for more examples of societys tendencies to put women in the kitchen?
I should point out, if its a womens only stall then thats utterly wrong but id like to know who says it is first.

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LuisSuarezTeeth · 26/06/2013 11:46

Maybe suggest other fund raising ideas for PARENTS? If its an expectation rather than written, it's not going to change unless someone challenges it.

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MalcolmTuckersMum · 26/06/2013 11:47

See? Good idea kim. And have a 'Dad's Bake Day' or BBQ or something - involve them - make it fun - get suggestions from everyone, not just the few (PTA veteran here, with scars to prove it) and sorry, but quit trying to make it a feminist issue and get with making some money. That, in this instance anyway, is the important thing here.

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Chandon · 26/06/2013 11:47

It is not written down that t should just be the mums, it is just the unwritten tradition.

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Startail · 26/06/2013 11:48

Cakes are not as good as they used to be as ingredients have gone up so much people are begging to resent seeing them sold for less than they cost to make.

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MalcolmTuckersMum · 26/06/2013 11:48

Well unwrite it - whilst keeping it good humoured and concentrating on making money! You sound a bit jaded with it all - that can come across to everyone and before you know it people perceive it as a negative thing. It doesn't need to be - it can be great fun with fantastic outcomes.

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Chandon · 26/06/2013 11:49

Fair enough malcolm.

I used to run a hot choc stall in winter, much better margins and low input ( so good steady fundraiser) but school does not like it as risky ( hot liquid)

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LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 26/06/2013 11:49

Blame the mums themselves if you want to blame anybody - same as for school 'collections'. It's the mums who seem to want to put themselves forward for tasks like this; the dads seemingly have a lot more sense.

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freddiefrog · 26/06/2013 11:49

I've been having this argument with school for years over cakebakes.

What's the point in me spending a fiver or so on ingredients to make cakes that they sell for 20p each? I'd rather just give them the fiver and be done with it

At our school it doesn't just fall on the Mums, although it is predominantly the women who do it. School just want helpers, they don't care what sex you are

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Chandon · 26/06/2013 11:51

Jaded....yes, Have been doing t for too long.

But you see, I feel I can't bow out as I am one of the few part timers so they count on me.

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MalcolmTuckersMum · 26/06/2013 11:51

I can make 12, for eg, lemon drizzle cupcakes presented in a box for around £3 using decent ingredients. If you saw them you'd happily pay me £6 for 12. If I charged you 20p each it would, as I said before, be a criminal waste of money and potential. Find different ways around the 'people won't pay more than 20p' problem. They will - you just have to help them think it's a great idea!

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fancyanamechange · 26/06/2013 11:52

Bunch of mummy martyrs.

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LtEveDallas · 26/06/2013 11:52

Ohh I was pissed off about this only yesterday.

I work full time. DH is a SAHD. DD is 8.

Maybe once a month I do a school pick-up, and only if I have finished work early on a Friday. In 4 years I have maybe taken DD to school twice.

DH was on the 'Friends of the School' when DD was in reception (but couldn't cope with the bitchyness!). He helps out at every sports day, helps walk the kids to the pool on a Wed, is always there for DDs assembly or special occaisons.

Yesterday he was approached by one of the teachers (someone who has known him for 4 years) and asked "We are looking for help at the school fete next week. Could your wife run the cake stall and make some biscuits to sell"

Now previously (Xmas fair 2011) I made shed loads of biscuits that DH and DD hung from a christmas tree and invited kids to buy and decorate. My only contribution was the baking, DH and DD did all the 'work'.

DH pointed out that I would probably be willing to make the biscuits, but certainly wouldn't run the stall as I would be at work. Teacher replied "Oh, well there is no point in having the stall if she's not there to run it. Could she help out with teas and coffees instead?"

DH just said "NO, she's at work" and walked away.

Bloody woman.

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juneau · 26/06/2013 11:52

If you all banded together and refused to do it, they'd have to come up with some other idea! We had a cake sale today for my DS's year. Some of the mums baked, I went and bought two packets of fairy cakes from Sainsbury's and that was that! I'm not spending the day baking for the sodding school - and I'm a SAHM who apparently 'has the time'. Pah! It's my time to do with as I wish and with a toddler to care for I don't wish to spend my day baking.

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DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper · 26/06/2013 11:53

20p a cake is madness.

A fiver a cake is bad enough, but 20p is seething-with-resentment territory.

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MalcolmTuckersMum · 26/06/2013 11:53

Well Chandon - when we reached that stage - and most PTAs do - we had a radical re-think and presented the school and parents with the option to change or sink. They gave us a chance and we trebled the income in just one term. It can be done - but you do have to go in in a 'don't fuck with me' Grin kind of a way.

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