To think what I do with dd before the school bell is my business or aibu(41 Posts)
Does the teacher not maybe think the reason there's been no bullying is because you and your DD have been taking this evasive action in the mornings? Having been bullied myself in juniors I would agree it takes a lot longer than 3 weeks to get over the fear.
at teacher . Obviously she thinks the longer she prevaricates the less likely it will be her problem to resolve . dd had a teacher like that, placating but ineffective.
Oh ffs I am 27 years old, in a different country from my childhood bullies and I haven't seen any of them in a decade. When I saw a picture of one of them on facebook last month I felt sick with fear. You can't just stop being bothered because nothing's happened in three weeks. Teacher is an idiot, go over her head. Make noise. Completely unacceptable. Your poor DD.
I had an issue when my DD was in the last year of primary school. School did bits and pieces to help, but not especially well and, like you, my DD was often the one moved or singled out.
One day, after another incident, I snapped. I kept her at home, but ready to go to school in her uniform, and took in a letter that said he was no longer prepared to send her to school until they could provide a safe environment for her. Reaction was rapid. Action plan agreed and daughter in school by break time. Not perfect but more than okay for the last term at that school.
A side benefit was that DD didn't just see that I believed and supported her but that it was possible to act to improve the situation, rather than just come up with avoidance strategies. That doesn't mean I think you're doing that BTW!
You need to put all the allegations in writing and insist they be put on her file, they will just fob off verbal complaints they are too easy to ignore.
I am not sure about the drop off thing though.Why can't she join the line in the top playground at say 7 minutes to 9? Am I missing something?
Delurking to support you wholeheartedly. I was bullied for years in primary school by another girl and never bothered my parents about it (long story as to why), so spent years spotting her across the road (we lived a few streets away) and changing my journey to avoid her. Even as a young adult she could still instill fear in me. I still remember that prickling in my back. I so feel for your daughter.
You're a wonderful parent to be doing your best by your child and hang the school and its rules. I agree with the above about taking it to the governors if you're getting no joy from the HT. I'm fuming on your behalf.
Your poor DD - to be TERRIFIED to be around this girl at school must be awful for her.
As others have said trying to raise it politely hasn't worked (I have been there)-sometimes they only sit up and take notice if you make a fuss which is unfortunate but true.
Agree with jazz - until THEY can ensure your child is safe and not scared to go to school, you'll do what you need to.
Sadly, you are right, it often takes the bully hurting more than one child to get action taken.
If more than one parent complains it helps enormously.
DDs bully eventually had to wait in the classroom to be picked up at the end of school. Just as your bully likes the clock room in the morning, he liked to kick ankles and cause grief in the milling around getting bags and waiting for collection.
With regards to the bullying, tell your daughter to keep a diary (or help her to keep a diary) and list all incidents, what day they occurred, what time, and what lesson.
Once you have a few incidents listed down make an appointment with the head, show them the diary and ask them what is going to be done to keep your daughter safe on their premises.
If you get no satisfactory results you need to go to the governors.
If you're still worrying about your daughters emotional health and the bullying is still occurring you can take her to your GP, discuss the situation and the effect it's having on your daughter and it's very likely she will be given a doctors note to keep her from school until you have their total assurance that they are going to deal with the problem.
I've had massive problems with my son being bullied and have always achieved good results by being firm and telling them I will not tolerate his being bullied and will take it further if necessary.
Good luck and I wish your daughter all the best. The bully sounds vile.
Perhaps you have been too nice. What a sad thing to say, I know, but it seems the school have not taken you seriously as the bullying continues, unchanged.
Good luck with your battle and do whatever it takes to keep your child safe.
I'm so sorry you both have to go through this.
Can your neighbour not subtly draw attention to it in the playground. "Oh look MRS BOB has randomly parked and caused an obstruction again!"
If they don't like it they should actually take there duty of care seriously and protect your daughter.
I think I would be escorting her in to school. I have learnt over the years that sometimes you have to put your foot down with a school, don't let them fob toy off, either they sort it out or you will iykwim, I would want actual solutions.
The school need to pull their finger out. It is disgusting that this has not been dealt with.
Why have you let it go on for months??? The head et al are there to keep all children safe. Your child is not safe. Thus lies the problem they have to fix. Pronto.
ah ok , sounds like supervision in cloakroom is an issue which I think needs to be the focus of your complaint. They cannot expect your dd to become independent if she is in fear and nor should you have to adapt her arrival to avoid it. are they year 5 perhaps ?
I agree completely with Jazz too
If it were me, I'd make an appointment with the head and point out in no uncertain terms that as they clearly don't seem to be able to keep her safe, you'll be staying in the playground as long as your DD needs you to.
Once they've tackled the problem, then they can start worrying about where you stand at drop off time
The school are not dealing with the bully effectively. If anything it is the other child who should be escorted straight to the classroom.
A similar thing was happening to DS, the school started with close supervision of the bully at breaktimes, then banning her from the playground at breaktimes. She then decided to get her bullying done before school as she wasn't able to do it at breaktimes anymore.
Her parents now have to bring her in to school via the reception every day and hand her over to staff.
Talk to the school again. Good luck.
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